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Original poster

No kids allowed at the wedding is on father's day!

491 replies

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 05:41

My husband is best man at his close friends wedding and for years we always thought they would be kids at the wedding as our friends do like kids.

Last year I was at a wedding with this couple and the wedding we went to had no kids (apart from close family children) but did allow babies and I over heard the bride to be tell DH close friend" well I think it was very good of her to allow babies because I'm telling you now I'm not" I was abit taken back by this.

several months went by and no mention of if kids were allowed which I found odd because normally people would know well in advance if not to arrange child care. I just sent a text saying I'm looking at booking a hotel are the kids coming so I know how many to book for just to see if they were allowed. I got a text back saying nothing under teens allowed as I want everybody to enjoy a day with their partner and she said she doesn't think it would be child friendly.

I was upset by this and so was my kids as we have been talking about the wedding for so long all of our other friends going are also gutted by this too. To make matters worse I've just realised that it falls on father's day. My husband is great dad and we are both big on spending time together as a family.

My husband friend has to run everything past her she is very much the boss. So it's no surprise he has had no input into the wedding, but I just thought of all days why fathers day with no kids allowed. We both agree it's going to taint the day for us now.

OP posts:
MississippiAF · 04/05/2024 09:37

mrsdineen2 · 04/05/2024 09:35

Alternatively - why is the bride trying to pull rank and insert herself above the children of all the men she's inviting to the wedding.

Going out of her way to do that screams daddy issues.

Show quote history

What?

🤣🤣🤣

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 04/05/2024 09:38

I think it's pretty crappy to not even have breastfed babies at your wedding, but to be fair I'm not sure I'd have understood how hard that made it for mums to attend before I had my own baby.

Longma · 04/05/2024 09:40

Damnyourheadshoulderskneesandtoes · 04/05/2024 06:37

Surely only family children get invited to weddings anyway? Otherwise 2/3 of your wedding guests would end up being random children of your friends who you'd never met.

Not in my experience but that's because we have a large family with extended family groups, and most opt for more informal weddings rather than big elaborate affairs. So the odd extra child makes little difference.

I appreciate others do things differently.

But my own experience of weddings are they have been predominantly family orientated events including young to old.

loverofalmonds · 04/05/2024 09:40

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 06:21

13, 8, 4 and baby will be turning 4 months old.

I’d think you were too busy to navel gaze about nonsense like this

it would appear not…. 22 posts in

mrsdineen2 · 04/05/2024 09:41

MississippiAF · 04/05/2024 09:37

What?

🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

I could copy and paste it again if you had a hard time reading it.

Longma · 04/05/2024 09:42

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 06:50

I did try her that that and they she said to try and get a baby sitter and give baby a bottle.
She said she really wanted us there. It wasn't a matter of I understand

If she (and the groom) have made a decision to be child free then they will have to accept some people can't go.

I have no issues with people deciding to go child free but they can't then get upset or off with guests it they decline as a result. Actions have consequences.

Hugosmaid · 04/05/2024 09:43

EthnoBotanist · 04/05/2024 05:50

Is Father’s Day really a thing? We’re a happy and close family who love celebrating and I don’t think we’ve ever done anything for Father’s Day. A card and chocolate if we remember and no big deal if everyone forgets. Not much more for Mothers Day either. It’s another one of those ‘traditions’ that has been bigged up to get people to consume more.

Edited

Ah this is really sad.

VickyEadieofThigh · 04/05/2024 09:43

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 06:11

She said a couple of years ago she was going to have kids there.

But you said "Last year I was at a wedding with this couple and the wedding we went to had no kids (apart from close family children) but did allow babies and I over heard the bride to be tell DH close friend" well I think it was very good of her to allow babies because I'm telling you now I'm not" I was abit taken back by this."

She clearly said she wasn't having kids at her own wedding. Why discuss it with your children if you knew that?

ShoeHelpNeeded · 04/05/2024 09:43

I hate when people put crap about wanting the parents to have a relaxed day or what ever just say no kids and own that it's your choice as bride and groom. Stop pretending your doing it for the guests 🙄

loverofalmonds · 04/05/2024 09:44

ShoeHelpNeeded · 04/05/2024 09:43

I hate when people put crap about wanting the parents to have a relaxed day or what ever just say no kids and own that it's your choice as bride and groom. Stop pretending your doing it for the guests 🙄

i assume that given the furore on mumsnet it creates… they’re trying to be nice. Sadly though it would seem completely backfires on the poor sods

Hugosmaid · 04/05/2024 09:47

I think weddings with out kids are shite to be honest. I love watching little boys skidding across the dance floor in their little suits and the girls twirling their dresses both throwing out some serious moves. It always gets the adults up dancing.

The funny thing is OP this woman is likely to be the first to complain when her precious first born isn’t invited to an event.

I’d calibrate Father’s Day the day before and let him attend in his own.

Fluffywigg · 04/05/2024 09:48

They probably didn’t realise it was Father’s Day when they booked. I’m sure it wouldn’t have been on purpose. It could have been the only Sunday available in June at the venue, the price could have been cheaper, the celebration/whatever was only available in June.

No children at a wedding is popular because the more children you have, the less adults you can invite in some situations that have limited numbers. It will be more expensive and let’s be honest, some kids run riot! Nah, not for me. The problem is, if you invite one child then it’s hard to refuse others so it’s often all or nothing.

It’s a one off that you won’t all spend Father’s Day together. I think you’re making a mountain out of it really. We got married on one of my DH best friends child birthday and the child wasn’t invited! They didn’t kick up a fuss. When I realised I offered to change the date but they insisted I keep the date as it was our wedding.

fashionqueen0123 · 04/05/2024 09:48

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 06:43

I can see I'm in the minority here with I don't like no kids weddings but that's my opinion on it.

I've decided I'm not going as it's too much to leave my baby and I won't enjoy myself. As I have mentioned I'm exclusively bf.

My husband will go solo that day.

I would reply and say you can’t go because your baby wouldn’t be able to eat all day. I’ve had to do this before. I don’t know what people think you’ll do with a baby.

Itsonlymashadow · 04/05/2024 09:48

mrsdineen2 · 04/05/2024 09:35

Alternatively - why is the bride trying to pull rank and insert herself above the children of all the men she's inviting to the wedding.

Going out of her way to do that screams daddy issues.

Show quote history

Wow, so anyone who wants to put their wants first and not prioritise other people's kids is 'pulling rank' and Inserting themselves above the children?

You do realise there's no rank to pull or inserting themselves anywhere.

The aren't even connected. People don't have an obligation to put anyone else's kids first. Or put people with kids first.

There is no rank. It not a social chain of command and, if it was, it would be 2 different chains. Completely unconnected.

Anyone that thinks men get to 'pull rank' over women they know because the men have kids, clearly has issues of their own.

Rocknrollstar · 04/05/2024 09:49

I never took young children to weddings. I wanted to be able to enjoy myself and not worry about them and sticky fingers etc. Also, they need to go to bed early. It’s nice to have a grown up outing. On the other hand, when DHs brother, 120 miles away, said ‘no children’ we explained to them that we couldn’t leave DD as she was with a childminder all week anyway. They still said ‘no’, so we just didn’t go. Why can’t people just be allowed to have the wedding they want and why do other people have to get so uptight about it all?

SkiingIsHeaven · 04/05/2024 09:49

I have been to far too many weddings where kids run around and you can't hear the speeches or babies cry in the church.

You might be the kind of parents who take them out when they cause a disruption but many don't and you have already caused a disruption by then.

They ruin weddings in my opinion. We didn't have children at our wedding and it was perfect.

We love kids but they do stop you properly letting your hair down when you take them to a wedding.

Just my opinion but lots of people would disagree with me.

Hugosmaid · 04/05/2024 09:49

Also weddings with out kids end up being extremely boozey affairs. People get drunk very quickly.

I find it odd when they say ‘I want people to enjoy themselves with the kids’ this is always spoken by childless people who havnt experienced actually enjoying spending time with their own.

Dull

Crystallizedring · 04/05/2024 09:51

Are they getting married on Sunday? That's quite unusual. Or is it Saturday? If it's Saturday just leave early Sunday and spend the rest of the day with the kids.
If it is Sunday celebrate a different weekend. Or just don't go.

MrsPerfect12 · 04/05/2024 09:52

The only children that should be expected to be invited to a wedding is the bride and grooms and siblings children at most otherwise it ends up a children's party.

Hugosmaid · 04/05/2024 09:52

SkiingIsHeaven · 04/05/2024 09:49

I have been to far too many weddings where kids run around and you can't hear the speeches or babies cry in the church.

You might be the kind of parents who take them out when they cause a disruption but many don't and you have already caused a disruption by then.

They ruin weddings in my opinion. We didn't have children at our wedding and it was perfect.

We love kids but they do stop you properly letting your hair down when you take them to a wedding.

Just my opinion but lots of people would disagree with me.

Do they? Or is that just your perception?

My girls have never stopped me from ‘letting my hair down’ at weddings. In fact we are always the first ones up to dance - or do you mean stop you from getting totally wasted?

mrsdineen2 · 04/05/2024 09:52

Itsonlymashadow · 04/05/2024 09:48

Wow, so anyone who wants to put their wants first and not prioritise other people's kids is 'pulling rank' and Inserting themselves above the children?

You do realise there's no rank to pull or inserting themselves anywhere.

The aren't even connected. People don't have an obligation to put anyone else's kids first. Or put people with kids first.

There is no rank. It not a social chain of command and, if it was, it would be 2 different chains. Completely unconnected.

Anyone that thinks men get to 'pull rank' over women they know because the men have kids, clearly has issues of their own.

Show quote history

On. Father's. Day.

Had she chosen mother's day and insisted her guests leave their children I'd be equally as firm in my view that this pathetic person was trying to pull rank over and insert herself above the children of all the women on the wedding.

Any other day of the year, and pulling rank doesn't come into it, she's just the boring, run of the mill bridezilla.

godmum56 · 04/05/2024 09:53

Her day her choice, but also if this was about doing something on Mother's Day or Mothering Sunday, I think that there would be people saying well Mum gets to choose.......So I am going to say the same here. I mean if you are EBF and can't go then that's that but if its a close friend of your DH and he wants to go and be best man, well its his day and he should be able to choose to go and celebrate Dad's day on a different day.

Longma · 04/05/2024 09:53

ShoeHelpNeeded · 04/05/2024 09:43

I hate when people put crap about wanting the parents to have a relaxed day or what ever just say no kids and own that it's your choice as bride and groom. Stop pretending your doing it for the guests 🙄

This.

At least be honest and own your decision, whether it's a finance thing or just that you don't want children running around and potentially making too much noise over cows and speeches. It is almost certainly not to make a parents line easier.

Hugosmaid · 04/05/2024 09:53

MrsPerfect12 · 04/05/2024 09:52

The only children that should be expected to be invited to a wedding is the bride and grooms and siblings children at most otherwise it ends up a children's party.

Or a family event… like a wedding…

Fluffywigg · 04/05/2024 09:55

SkiingIsHeaven · 04/05/2024 09:49

I have been to far too many weddings where kids run around and you can't hear the speeches or babies cry in the church.

You might be the kind of parents who take them out when they cause a disruption but many don't and you have already caused a disruption by then.

They ruin weddings in my opinion. We didn't have children at our wedding and it was perfect.

We love kids but they do stop you properly letting your hair down when you take them to a wedding.

Just my opinion but lots of people would disagree with me.

I completely agree with you.