No kids allowed at the wedding is on father's day!

[IrisRuby]

My husband is best man at his close friends wedding and for years we always thought they would be kids at the wedding as our friends do like kids.

Last year I was at a wedding with this couple and the wedding we went to had no kids (apart from close family children) but did allow babies and I over heard the bride to be tell DH close friend" well I think it was very good of her to allow babies because I'm telling you now I'm not" I was abit taken back by this.

several months went by and no mention of if kids were allowed which I found odd because normally people would know well in advance if not to arrange child care. I just sent a text saying I'm looking at booking a hotel are the kids coming so I know how many to book for just to see if they were allowed. I got a text back saying nothing under teens allowed as I want everybody to enjoy a day with their partner and she said she doesn't think it would be child friendly.

I was upset by this and so was my kids as we have been talking about the wedding for so long all of our other friends going are also gutted by this too. To make matters worse I've just realised that it falls on father's day. My husband is great dad and we are both big on spending time together as a family.

My husband friend has to run everything past her she is very much the boss. So it's no surprise he has had no input into the wedding, but I just thought of all days why fathers day with no kids allowed. We both agree it's going to taint the day for us now.

I feel similarly, so you’re not alone. Obviously I know anyone has the right to have one - it’s their day - but also the couple have to understand that people may not come and not take umbridge about that. Also, although Sunday isn’t highly unusual, it is an awkward day for travel and often means you’re asking the majority of guests (if travelling in) to take the next day off work.

I do think there used to be more of a focus on sharing the day with those you cared about whereas now the focus has shifted to being very individualistic. I also think the comments on commercialisation of Father’s Day are less impactful considering commercialisation of weddings themselves!

I also went to a wedding recently with my children and it was in a very expensive location. It had antiques everywhere! It was ok for my older children but little ones running around and chairs that cost hundreds of thousands on display (yes) that staff had to keep telling them they couldn't go near. Tbh the poor parents couldn't relax. I can understand why some venues aren't child friendly. Also I did wonder why these locations didn't have the rooms shut off 🤔

Having children adds so many people and so much money to a bill. Anything older than about two years old needs a place setting and to be fed, which is largely money down the drain. Especially if your menu is plush.

You may not like how they’ve done it, but I really don’t blame them for not having children there. You and your husband alone go from two guests to six.

I understand why people don't invite children for finance reasons although it's a shame. I don't understand babes in arms , or indeed very small toddlers who don't need a meal being excluded at all. Having said that, the Father's Day aspect wouldn't bother me at all. At least it is a weekend wedding and people aren't being expected to take time off work to attend.

Probably because adults don’t go running around normally.

I think, unless it was a family wedding, even if my children were invited, no way in hell would I take them. It ruins a good party. For me.

I’ve never been to a Sunday wedding, (assumed they were always Saturday or sometimes weekday). Not point of thread I know).

Much more likely that the numbers are fixed (because venues are finite) and that whole groups of people aren’t invited if kids are. On this occasion, since DH is the best man, then OP and kids would get an invite if it wasn’t child free. But chances are they wouldn’t at all if DH wasn’t best man, as family kids might well have left no space for “friends with kids”

Full support OP. I wouldn't go and leave my baby that far away either.

Oh come off it. It’s perfectly reasonable to say no kids but for context at my wedding your family would have cost me £500. Completely unreasonable of you to expect her to accommodate FOUR bodies.

people are allowed to say no kids. It’s their day. I cannot imagine criticising others this way or being that entitled.

Their wedding their choice. If you don’t like it don’t go.

The fact it’s on Father’s Day doesn’t matter. It’s not that a big deal just have Father’s Day the day before…

They’re getting married on a Sunday? Thats unusual.

You have to remember if everyone took their children A) It could be another 70/80 guests. I had 130 adults to the day, if all their children came it would be easily another 100. It’s not just a cost issue it’s a space issue. But like another poster said, a big wedding is pretty much £100 a head. Will your 8 and 4 year old eat smoked salmon to start, followed by lamb shank in a red wine jus, with pancetta for dessert? My kids wouldn’t. What a waste, or do you want the bride to serve chicken strips and chips for all the kids? And a separate dessert of ice-cream? Do you see all the headache that having young kids there causes?

B) With lots of young children it could descend in to chaos.

C) I had three kids to my wedding, all were nieces. Most weddings don’t have kids. It’s not a ‘new’ thing, it’s a cost and space thing. If the bride and groom have their own children it’s a bit more likely. Your family alone is six people (admittedly 1 is a newborn). Six!

Only people on MN get in a froth about Fathers Day and the other hallmark holidays.

Why on earth did you tell your kids they were going without confirmation? Their being upset is on your not the B & G

Otherwise it's like every other wedding. You chose to go or decline.

😂

There will be many more Father's days but only one wedding. Your husband needs to be there and the kids aren't welcome. That is how it is.çThey can give him his card/presents the next day.

I know Father’s Day is in June but beyond that, I have no idea. I would never expect someone to check this before selecting their wedding date.

You’ve been very unpleasant about the bride. I suspect it will be a blessed relief that you aren’t attending.

Their wedding their choice. I wouldn't have been telling my children they could go without being sure that was the case so as to avoid disappointment. The Fathers Day issue is a non thing for me. Children can celebrate their dad any day of the year, it's a bit of a made up holiday anyway so it's simple to rearrange any plans you might have made to any other day of the year and make a special thing of it if you're so inclined.

Do Father's Day another day. It's no big deal.

Well, yes this is the thing - if you take your DC to a wedding, you will still have to (gasp!) - parent.

This is precisely why many don’t want to take their DC.

No one is setting up a wedding so that ‘poor parents’ can relax.

I really don’t get why people get their back up over child free weddings….. they actually are very not kid friendly….

We are going to a wedding this year (abroad) and for once our child is actually invited. However they have nannies on site during the day and will have a play group ect during the ceremony. They have spent money to make it as kid friendly as possible. It’s great they have accommodated the children in this way, but at the same time if they hadn’t I wouldn’t have been annoyed. Just wouldn’t have gone as it’s abroad 😂 easy!

You’ve always known it was child free. I don’t know why you’re getting your knickers in a twist. Your DH can go on his own if you can’t get childcare.

Alternatively - why is the bride trying to pull rank and insert herself above the children of all the men she's inviting to the wedding.

Going out of her way to do that screams daddy issues.

But if you’re sooooo big on time with family then you’d have known it was Father’s Day surely 🥴

People can change their mind.

In the end this is an invite, not a summons. If it matters so much dont go.

I have had to turn down invites for many things over the years because I had little children. Its life.

I'm child free and not child friendly. If I was getting married I'd be making it extremely clear to all guests from the word go, either arrange childcare or don't come. No exceptions. But plenty of notice.

If they haven't done this and they end up with a bunch of guests turning up with their children - that's on them to deal with.