No kids allowed at the wedding is on father's day!

[IrisRuby]

My husband is best man at his close friends wedding and for years we always thought they would be kids at the wedding as our friends do like kids.

Last year I was at a wedding with this couple and the wedding we went to had no kids (apart from close family children) but did allow babies and I over heard the bride to be tell DH close friend" well I think it was very good of her to allow babies because I'm telling you now I'm not" I was abit taken back by this.

several months went by and no mention of if kids were allowed which I found odd because normally people would know well in advance if not to arrange child care. I just sent a text saying I'm looking at booking a hotel are the kids coming so I know how many to book for just to see if they were allowed. I got a text back saying nothing under teens allowed as I want everybody to enjoy a day with their partner and she said she doesn't think it would be child friendly.

I was upset by this and so was my kids as we have been talking about the wedding for so long all of our other friends going are also gutted by this too. To make matters worse I've just realised that it falls on father's day. My husband is great dad and we are both big on spending time together as a family.

My husband friend has to run everything past her she is very much the boss. So it's no surprise he has had no input into the wedding, but I just thought of all days why fathers day with no kids allowed. We both agree it's going to taint the day for us now.

Aha! So my cynicism wasn’t so cynical.

You have a massive downer on her, but actually it’s the groom being a disorganised twat? Just as he was at your wedding, it seems?

She said in a text I'm just trying to stop his parents from coming because they dont get on with her family and I have a list as long as my arm with red flags but that's a separate matter all together his choice.

Also, what’s with the “openly admitted”??

Presumably he has addresses/emails/numbers for his friends and family and she for hers. Why shouldn’t he do his??

My work colleague had a no child wedding reception, it was announced the month before. She was annoyed when many could no longer come due to childcare and breast feeding babies etc. I went and it looked very sparse, a bit embarrassing for her I guess.

If I were you, I wouldn't get involved with the passing on of messages. I'd stay home with my kids, and let my husband go alone.

Why the fuck do care about this wedding AT ALL???? You think the bride is a manipulative, child hating, parent hating, red flag waving, bossy, bitch and you think the groom is selfish and useless and didn’t give any shits about your own wedding. Get different friends. Preferably ones who are already married. Don’t go. Go for a nice Father’s Day picnic with your family. Take some home made scotch eggs and a frisbee. Be happy.

She wants to walk around on Father's Day looking at all the men who have cast their kids aside for her.

She's not a healthy individual. Keep your distance.

“She said in a text I'm just trying to stop his parents from coming “

She said this in a text to you, when you don’t like her and you are married to her fiancé’s best friend, who knows her parents?

Sure, Jan.

Well put!

Now I'm lost, who's Jan?

It’s an indication of scepticism.

Right, so it's the new "Karen", a misogynistic put down when a woman is posting an opinion you dislike. Nice.

Talk about not getting it at all!

And The Brady Bunch is from the '60s, so not at all new.

Right, so it's the new "Karen", a misogynistic put down when a woman is posting an opinion you dislike. Nice.

It’s really not. It’s the un-new “chinny reckon” or “did ye, aye”. It’s not an opinion you don’t like, it’s when you think someone is talking bullshit. Not as direct as “bollocks did you/he/she” but means the same.

These posts crop up quite a lot and I am constantly surprised at how polar opposite the views are. It's also not a new trend to have child-free weddings.

As others have said, it's for the couple to decide the guest list, but I do find it odd that they didn't specify no children on the invitation. (I didn't want kids at my wedding and although we didn't put this on the Save the Date card, we did put it on a note sent with the invitations. As for the wedding falling on Father's Day? That won't even have entered their heads. They will have had a rough idea of when they'd like to get married, then they would have had to co-ordinate availability of dates with the venue and registrar/church.)

I've been to weddings with kids and, at most of them, the kids ruined them (well, parents letting their kids be badly behaved ruined the services). I've also been to weddings as a child (boring) and taken my own toddler to a wedding (at the groom's request) and, whilst I still enjoyed the wedding, I would have had a more carefree experience if I wasn't constantly looking after a little one.

I think your error was in making an assumption instead of either asking earlier or waiting to find out before getting the kids excited. It's not very fair to be so upset at the bride because of your error, or to make rather sexist, snide remarks about her being 'boss'.

So the groom is lazy and forgetful, but it’s her fault. Got it! You’re one of those that blames the woman for everything.

Think it’s better you don’t go seeing you dislike her so much.

I have fond memories of going to weddings as a child but that's just me.
I'm not posting anymore as I'm getting verbally bashed on here and I'm too tired to read them.

And since then she's been to a bunch of other weddings with and without kids, she's actually booked a venue with whatever capacity and worked out what that would mean for numbers and costs. And has changed her mind about having kids there.

Or do you think that she shouldn't be allowed to do that because of something she said 'a couple of years ago'?

It doesn’t really matter though does it.

You don’t have to be friends with her or spend time with her.

Your DH is good friends with the groom to be and their friendship doesn’t need to involve you or the kids.

It needs to involve the bride on the wedding day, but going forward they can be friends separate from their wives and kids.

Tell your DH to have a good time and that you’ll celebrate Father’s Day the next day.

“I'm not posting anymore as I'm getting verbally bashed on here and I'm too tired to read them.”

Not half as much as you are verbally bashing the bride.

Unfortunate choice, but not a lot you can do. Celebrate Father’s Day on the Saturday instead praps.

Wonder why they are getting married on a Sunday, that’s quite unusual. Even for a civil ceremony. I went to one once and the celebrants definitely get paid more for working on Sunday

“but I do find it odd that they didn't specify no children on the invitation. (I didn't want kids at my wedding and although we didn't put this on the Save the Date card, we did put it on a note sent with the invitations. “

it’s entirely possible that the bride, who did send out her save the date cards, has done this. It is the groom who hasn’t and the OP’s DH, as best man, is being asked to inform people on the groom’s side.

It’s not your wedding, why are you getting so het up about it?

I absolutely hate Karen as an insult.

But given how much the OP is criticising the bride for things that are clearly the groom’s fault eg that the groom didn’t send his save the dates out, it’s amusing that it is me you are calling misogynistic.

I was just wanting people's views on it. I got different perspectives.

“this is a wedding for a 100 people to attend”

And you thought your family should make up 6% of attendees, @IrisRuby ?

100 people, and you’re bitching and moaning that your FOUR children should be included. Because It’s Father’s Day, - which you didn’t notice until your Mum pointed it out - and the bride openly admitted she’d sent her invitations out long ago because she’s not an incompetent buffoon but this is a red flag.

And she’s a controlling bridezilla because her fiancé has to check wedding arrangements with her, like every sane bridal couple would.

You clearly can’t stand her. You begrudge her the three course meal at your own wedding (surprise! That’s what inviting people involved).

Just be glad you have an excellent reason for not attending.