No kids allowed at the wedding is on father's day!

[IrisRuby]

My husband is best man at his close friends wedding and for years we always thought they would be kids at the wedding as our friends do like kids.

Last year I was at a wedding with this couple and the wedding we went to had no kids (apart from close family children) but did allow babies and I over heard the bride to be tell DH close friend" well I think it was very good of her to allow babies because I'm telling you now I'm not" I was abit taken back by this.

several months went by and no mention of if kids were allowed which I found odd because normally people would know well in advance if not to arrange child care. I just sent a text saying I'm looking at booking a hotel are the kids coming so I know how many to book for just to see if they were allowed. I got a text back saying nothing under teens allowed as I want everybody to enjoy a day with their partner and she said she doesn't think it would be child friendly.

I was upset by this and so was my kids as we have been talking about the wedding for so long all of our other friends going are also gutted by this too. To make matters worse I've just realised that it falls on father's day. My husband is great dad and we are both big on spending time together as a family.

My husband friend has to run everything past her she is very much the boss. So it's no surprise he has had no input into the wedding, but I just thought of all days why fathers day with no kids allowed. We both agree it's going to taint the day for us now.

I have 2 young kids. Wouldn't care less if it was on Mother's Day or Father's Day!

since the crack of dawn today OP
You seem to have done nothing but post on this thread. Every hour on the hour… multiple posts.

It a bank holiday weekend, kids are off, stop navel gazing about this, that’s you’ll never be able to change, and do something else!!

I'm a bit confused. Are you saying they are getting married on a Sunday? I mean they can but it's a bit unusual.

I think you’re right op. Weddings with kids are much nicer. The whole point of a wedding is to celebrate love and commitment. Kids are a beautiful demonstration of love and commitment

Why should they pay a shed load of money to have people at their wedding, only to have them distracted by their kids and unable to be in the moment?
I think it’s outrageously entitled when people get uppity about their kids not being invited. It’s a privilege to be invited to a wedding, not a right!
also Father’s Day is an extremely minor non-event and totally irrelevant to the wedding plans. Do you think they should have avoided the date because it’s Father’s Day? So overly dramatic!

What?

Have you had too much caffeine this morning?

Out of interest, if they had allowed kids, do you think they should also have invited all the guests own Fathers as well?

This is very much "people aren't allowed to do nice things for themselves in the way they want to even when it is one day of their lives and they are footing the bill for it all. Won't someone think of the children/fathers"

This. I can’t believe the entitlement from the OP regarding bringing children. I had no children at my wedding apart from nieces and nephews and babies. The wedding breakfast was £125 a head.

One couple I barely knew (husbands friends) kicked up a fuss because their two teenagers were not invited. Two children I have never met and those two places could had gone to closer friends of ours. I cringe at the fact they actually asked when the invite clearly invited just the two of them.

I didn't have children at my wedding.

Every wedding I've been to that children have attended have had horribly behaved kids. I've seen

Children screaming and running around during the service/speeches
Food throwing
A kid knocking a waiter carrying plates of food
A toddler knocking a full bottle of red wine over on the top table
Children taking a table arrangement apart to play with
Various tantrums and awful behaviour

That being said, I think breast fed babes in arms are another issue and should really be allowed

What a load of schmaltz 🤮

I think it's ok to have no kids at wedding but not ok to have no infants. I'd allow up to age 3. Older kids get bored, cost more money in food, it's not really ok for adults to be drunk around them and it isn't an ordeal and upsetting to have them babysat as it is for an infant. However, I think it's massively unreasonable to chose father's day if you want a child free wedding. I think not allowing your 4 month old the biggest issue here, I certainly wouldn't leave mine at that age.

Why have you been “talking about the wedding for so long” with your kids when you didn’t know they were going to be invited?
You’ve built an enormous mountain out of a molehill, ditto with Fathers Day.
They probably don’t care that much about that either.

My baby doesn't really sleep so I'm always up at that time

yep

but mine (50 guests… all family and close friends without exception) was also…. amazing food, lovely champers, lots of dancing and then waving off guests that headed off at midnight, followed by a group of us decamping outside with bottles of champagne, finally collapsing into bed feeling utterly utterly and sublimely happy.

Would have been boring for a child
stressful for parent of child
and a bit shit of other guests on the same table

and i stand by that view years later now with children of my own

i didn’t want to consider play tables or children appropriate food or toning down the speeches etc

I can't believe you are blaming the bride for the groom not sending his invites!
Who was actually on the invite? You don't need to tell everyone it's child free, you just don't invite children...

I think you're being a bit dramatic really. Perfectly normal for people not to have kids at their wedding, so it's not that shocking, and either Father's Day is so important to you as a family you can choose not to go or you can just do something to celebrate your husband the day before or after. Not sure it warrants all this handwringing tbh.

We do tend to ‘celebrate’ Mothers & Fathers Days but I don’t think this would be the issue for me - maybe they wanted a Sunday in June and this was the last one available at the venue.

It is odd (IMO) to exclude a breastfed baby, especially when it’s the baby of a member of the wedding party, but for me this would be a shrug and a tick in the ‘can’t attend’ box on the RSVP. If they query it just say ‘the baby needs to be fed and as he’s breastfed no one else can do it’. What definitely is a bit weird is them not specifying anywhere on the save the date or website that children aren’t allowed, with the exception of teens. We put ‘and family’ on the invitation envelopes for a couple of families where the addresses got a bit long and they did call to query about children, so I would be surprised if you’re the only people who have asked them about this.

Nothing about it seems odd. Invites in Feb for a June wedding is fine. Childfree weddings are the norm in the UK. Only thing that strikes me as odd is the fact it’s on a Sunday.

when Did the trend for no-kid weddings start? When I was a child I never heard of this.

You seem really invested in your DH friends' wedding.
Maybe focus on your life rather than dramatise someone's wedding (it's one day).

What definitely is a bit weird is them not specifying anywhere on the save the date or website that children aren’t allowed

I really don't understand this attitude.... you put the names of those invited onto the invitation, if it says Mom and Pop (& no DC names) then children aren't invited - I would have thought that was obvious. Does it need to specify next door isn't invited too??

I doubt they even thought about Father's Day when arranging the wedding. It's irrelevant really but if it's a big deal to you just do something the day/weekend before.

People say all sorts of things like I won't have no kids until it gets to the planning and the numbers are too many for the venue and rhe cost of eg £100 per head for a child gets cost prohibitive.

Their day, their way! I like that phrase used by another poster.

I am sure you could "celebrate" fathers day a week before or a week after if you actually do celebrate it.

If you sent want to go then don't but please don't make this "a thing" with the couple.

When I was a child I was never invited to weddings, and I have 15 aunts/uncles who all got married when I was a child.
Why is your way the only way?