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Original poster

Bridesmaids/guests leaving early

136 replies

Sarahc90 · 29/10/2022 17:05

Hi, I got married a few months ago and it was so lovely (uk wedding). We had 70 day guests and 30 more for the evening. We had 10 not show up for the evening do. I had 7 bridesmaids who all stayed at the venue the night of the wedding and night before the wedding. I got married at 12:30am and evening guests arrived around 6:30pm till 12am. So we had 90 guests in total.

At around 9pm I noticed a few guests saying by and leaving. Two were my close friends and their partners and a few older family members. Then two of my bridesmaids went up to their rooms with their partners about half 9 after the evening pizza food. I had another bridesmaid go up to her room with her partner at 10pm and then two more bridesmaids and partners leave by 11pm. Two of my bridesmaids stayed till 11:45 with their partners. We had around 60/70 guests at 10pm and about 40 at 11pm.
my husband didn’t notice as he was dancing and having fun with his friends but it was mostly my friends who left earlier. I know weddings are long days but feel a little bit disappointed by the ones who left early especially bridesmaids. Has this happened to anyone before and is it normal? Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Swampthing55 · 29/10/2022 17:07

Why do you care all these months later? 9 pm would be late enough for me

Twinklelittlestar65 · 29/10/2022 17:11

How old are you and your friends? Our friendship weddings dynamics have changed massively in our 30s. People with kids are more tired (even when the kids are not at the wedding). Financially people may not spend as much on drink with mortgages and life to pay.

What time did your bridemaids start in the morning with you getting ready?

My wedding I was 23 and we all partied into the early hours of the morning. Most recent wedding from same friendship group was mostly chatting catching up with people. A few dances. I stayed up as late as I could for my friend as i qas bridemaid (midnight i could have easily gone to bed at 9pm) but was tired from having child who doesn't sleep through the night and was up at 6.30am getting ready with the bride for hair and make up.

Most important thing is your friends were there for the main event? Understandably you wishes they stayed later but if good friends otherwise don't let this become a big thing in your head xx

Letsgotitans · 29/10/2022 17:12

Don't over analyse your special day as it will taint your memories. Accept that people want to go to bed at different times, it doesn't mean that the didn't have an amazing day with you.

SunshineClouds1 · 29/10/2022 17:16

I was a bridesmaid and in bed once at 22:00, we had been up since 5 for hair and makeup.
I needed my bed

Ohwhathaveidonenow · 29/10/2022 17:16

In my experience weddings weddings pretty shit unless they're your own or close family. Why did you want your guests to stay against their will?

SpookyMcGhoul · 29/10/2022 17:17

I wouldn't be too fussed - did your bridesmaids need to be up early for hair and makeup for a 12.30 wedding? Even 9.30 isn't that early if you're not a huge group of party people, it's 9 hours of chatting / drinking / being around people and socialising / dancing, that's a long day for a lot of people.

People have fun, your groom didn't notice, you still had people up and dancing so it all sounds good to me 😊

Original poster
Sarahc90 · 29/10/2022 17:21

I know it was a long day as they were up early but they are normally party people and there till the end. I didn’t expect them to be there against their will just expected a bit later especially as they were staying at venue. When I was bridesmaid for them, I stayed till the end of the night.

OP posts:
BananaGrana · 29/10/2022 17:23

I noticed this a recent wedding. Bride and groom late 30s. I would have loved to have gone home at 9 or 10 as well but would have felt rude so I didn’t.

For me:
It’s a long day and I was really tired.
You need to drive to most wedding venues which means one of you is always not able to drink.
I find the other guests boring. I’m not interested in finding out about the new job or conversion to veganism of people I don’t know and will never see again.

Original poster
Sarahc90 · 29/10/2022 17:24

Thank you! Yes it was an early start about 6:30am. I’m 31. I was bridesmaid to one of my bridesmaids two months before my wedding and we all managed to stay till the end. Just a bit disappointed

OP posts:
ivfbabymomma1 · 29/10/2022 17:27

It is a long day for everyone, especially getting married early! I'm guessing you were all up around 6/7am to get ready as well?

Doidontimmm · 29/10/2022 17:28

That’s a really early start and a really long day. I’d be exhausted by 9pm!

Gazelda · 29/10/2022 17:30

So your bridesmaids were with you, enjoying your wedding day for a minimum of 15 hours.

I don't think it's fair for you to be disappointed. Maybe they felt shattered and wanted to make the most of the lovely hotel room that either they'd paid for, or you and your DH had provided for them.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 29/10/2022 17:30

That's a really early start! No wonder they left earlier. What does it matter? They were there to celebrate with you and stayed for the evening part, just leaving slightly earlier.

ItsJustASimpleLine · 29/10/2022 17:31

What day was the wedding? Did they need to go to work the next day?

NC12345665 · 29/10/2022 17:38

Am I overreacting?

Yes.

PixiePirate · 29/10/2022 17:39

I completely understand and think I would have felt the same as you OP.

Were most of your crowd at the wedding 2 months’ prior? If so, I wonder if it was just a case of them feeling like they had already ‘been there, done that’ kind of thing. Or if it was a lovely venue were they perhaps just wanting to enjoy their rooms? Sadly I think it often only takes one couple to leave to start a bit of a snowball effect.

Either way it seems a bit crap of them tbh but I hope hope you enjoyed your day anyway and many congratulations on your marriage.

AnuSTart · 29/10/2022 17:39

I think you're being a little demanding and overanalysing it too.
That's a long bloody day. Maybe they'd had enough eating pizza and dancing?
Seriously don't think about this now. You just said you had a lovely day. Why do this???

Theydoyaknow · 29/10/2022 17:40

I hate weddings, too long a day, I would gave been gone first chance I got. Hate the messy end of night crap anyway. They hD been there since the night before! They had enough!

MovingOnUpp · 29/10/2022 17:43

They were probably tired and or hungry or possibly the wedding was boring, the music rubbish or the drink too expensive.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 29/10/2022 17:43

Maybe they wanted a little time to enjoy the rooms they were paying for at your venue and were genuinely just tired after such a long day.

NCFT0922 · 29/10/2022 17:44

You got married at 12.30?? Jesus that’s a long day! Sorry to say OP but they had probably had enough by 9pm. That’s a really early start to a long day.

Bobbins36 · 29/10/2022 17:46

Really over thinking that! Weddings can be exhausting and it’s a bit off of you to expect people not to go to bed after they’ve been bridesmaiding since 630am.

MovingOnUpp · 29/10/2022 17:48

Did you have a gap before the evening started. I had a noon wedding, a gap between 5 and 7 and the wedding went on until 4am.

ahunf · 29/10/2022 17:50

My mum left at 8pm before my first dance. I won't forget it. The only other family member I had was my sister who was pissed and my dd4.

BonnyT · 29/10/2022 17:51

Did you have a lovely day? By 9pm or 10pm a lot of the guests at our wedding had left for childcare reasons, we had a very kid friendly wedding and lots of little tired ones by 10pm. Would you have really wanted them to stay til the bitter end if they were tired, or had had enough?

They celebrated the ceremony with you - and that's the important part - not everyone wants to listening to Dancing Queen at a disco at 1am while the bride struts her stuff!!