What makes a wedding special for guests?

[woohoo54]

I'm getting married next year, hopefully outdoors (but with an indoor option if it rains) at a venue solely for our use. I haven't been to that many weddings but I really want everyone to have a great time. There will be lots of food throughout the day and some drinks supplied (with a couple of bars if people want more). I've sorted amazing flowers, quartet and great band, photographer, celebrant & something special for the handful of children coming. But I can't help but feel I'm missing something...when you think back to what happened at the favourite wedding you've attended - what made it extra special for you as a guest and why? (Any advice gratefully received)

Decent food.
I've been to a few weddings recently where there have been fancy favours, personalised table decorations, tables with names related to the B&G's relationship and all that kind of thing but the food has made 1970s school dinners look good. Nobody cares about photo booths and sweet stalls if the food is crap and they end up looking for a 24 hour McDonalds on the way home.
Get the basics right!

Singing waiters are one of the worst fads ever. Cringey and absolutely mortifying for people who hate that kind of thing. You don’t want to make people uncomfortable. I had to leave during a friends wedding because of the awful forced interaction with them.

Good food and booze, sensible timings when it comes to food and entertainment. Nail that and you don’t need anything else to make it good.

Nice food, decent wine (don’t mind paying), plenty of seating.
No long delays for photos when there’s nowhere to relax (still vividly remember my cousins wedding when they spent two hours taking photos while we all stood around outside, not being allowed into the venue to sit down).

Paid for bar. Having to pay for your own drinks, I have found, means that people leave early. Having a bar that the hosts have paid for makes people feel welcome...and gives them confidence on the dancefloor.

Also, I think nice food that caters to all needs. Don't make those with dietary requirements feel awkward.

Lots of dancing. Lots of fun.

Karaoke. Best wedding I was at, in a pub function room. Such a laugh!

Only regret about my own wedding was not having a fizz toast. Also forgot to have a first dance...

If your BIL and GF are vegan, make sure they get enough to eat in the canape stage and evening. I'm gluten free (not by choice) and at a wedding this year there weren't any canapes I could eat (very normal) and nothing in the evening (again, normal) even though they had arranged a nice GF main meal. I always have a box of food in the car, and now we also have non alcoholic drinks there too after events where was nothing but over priced orange juice or diet coke in the evening, and one where we couldn't even get water

One of my best was where the Wedding ceremony was at the same place as the reception. They wheeled out a huge table covered with anti pasto bits and pieces 15 minutes after the service. There were 2 photographers so one was organising groups abs taking candids while the other did the main work. There were games set up as well as dancing.

Try and think of everything from your guests perspective, while you are having your photos done what are they up to?

Plenty of food and free flowing drink is important.

We had a welcome sign that also had a rough timeline of the day, it meant people knew when they were eating, when the band played etc

I really recommend lawn games and a magician. I was so worried a magician would be tacky but he was fantastic, guests still talk about how good he was years later!!

Great food and a good vegetarian option. My son is vegetarian and the last wedding we went to had an embarrassingly bad veg option. We went to a lot of weddings just before covid - we always find ourselves rating them on the food. The most obviously expensive and often formal scored lowest - we enjoyed a great pizza van, a pile of brownies and cream - dull roast beef (eye wateringly expensive) scored much lower. In the end..save yourselves some money..spend it on a holiday or a house..biggest waste of money ever. I've been happily married for 35yrs - nothing against marriage.

Keep it informal, have a photographer taking natural shots as the day goes along, and keep your guests well watered and fed. Anything else is window dressing.

Ditto with the large time gaps while photos are done. It can be very awkward. If the ceremony and reception are at different places, make sure transportation is easy or arranged. We were at one where we were guests, but sharing a ride from the ceremony to the reception, but one of the MIL's were in our van, so we had to wait ages while she was included in photos. We wouldn't have accepted the ride if we knew we had to hang around.

Include all ages in the music selections. Oldies like to dance as well, so don't go all techno after 10pm. Realize parents listened to 80's rock, and grandparents listened to Beatles and Rolling Stones. There's nothing lovelier than seeing parents , aunts and uncles kicking off their shoes and having a good time with the couples friends. Keep up a good mix of genres.

Like others have said, it's the basics that make it special for guests, so you feel like a cherished invitee, rather than a background to some instagram pictures.

So being fed often - over feeding is always better than under, short photo shoot, free flowing alcohol, short speeches - ideally before the meal to get them out of the way and a nice wedding favour, preferably food or drink.

Loads of food
Good music
Sweets table to graze at
Getting to have some wedding cake!!! You'd be surprised how many people don't share the wedding cake.

Sufficient seating! And adequate space to mingle so you don't feel you're loitering in a corridor. And somewhere that isn't the arse end of nowhere, or at least guest accommodation has been vaguely thought about, or a bus. I've been to a wedding in the back of beyond, but they laid on a bus which was excellent!!

Keep feeding and watering guests.

Basically anything that contributes to guests' comfort, really.

Oh yes and if it's a buffet make sure there's enough food and choice for the last table, nothing makes you feel more welcome than the scrag ends of a hog roast when you saw the top table walking away with heaped plates more than half an hour before.

Food!

Great food
Booze
no kids.

Starting later in the day. Nothing worse than a 12 noon ceremony and having to stand around for long periods of time.

The last one I went it, instead of having a buffet in the evening, it was a chip roll or a bacon roll. Lovely.

The best wedding I ever went to (apart from my own!) was on the groom's parents farm. There were hay bales to sit on, a camper van photo booth, a big bowl of punch and a fire pit with giant marshmallows to toast. There were various food vans so we could choose what we wanted to eat in the evening, including an ice cream van. Daytime food was afternoon tea which didn't do a very good job at soaking up the alcohol, but meant we could have something more substantial from the vans in the evening when we had the munchies.

We could also camp overnight as well which meant we didn't have to worry about booking taxis and hotels.

It was very rustic, laid back but beautifully decorated in the tee pee.

As others have said, not being left hanging around for ages while photographs are taken and enough food and drink.

People will appreciate a lovely venue, nice flowers etc. (especially if the guests are fond of Instagram), but food, drink and not hanging around are top of the list.

Beyond that, sitting with fun people you know, a great band or DJ, bar with reasonable prices, and something to distract or entertain children and you're good to go.

Canapés after the ceremony whilst photos etc are going on....gin bar, ice cream cart....charcuterie board at the end of the night....sweet cart and candy floss....plenty of food and drink and somewhere warm and comfy and quiet to sit if preferred

@woohoo54

I am loving these suggestions and honest insight! Please keep them coming! Interesting to hear no one remembered flowers - maybe I should reallocate part of that budget as I had set aside quite a bit for them as I thought they'd make the venue feel really special

About the only thing I remember from wedding flowers is if the brides were striking. I do like a table with simple little bunches of flowers on but I wouldn't be able to tell you anything about what they were or had at a venue! Definitely save the money and put it to something else!

Almost no photos or hanging about
Very short, INOFFENSIVE speeches with NO in-jokes that only the groom and his rugby pals get
Plenty decent food
Access to drinks that don't clean out the bank account
Lots of dancing, ideally ceilidh
Nothing too stiff or formal

What makes a wedding special for guests? See the couple enjoying themselves and not racked with worry about how the celebration are going. That's our experience from our wedding, we were both tense and worried about how everyone was getting on in the early part, then we got together and decided we'd enjoy the day. If other didn't so what, so we did and from reports afterwards the majority did. It was our day and I'll always treasure the day and I believe my one and only feels the same, well I told her she should. Put it this way, I definitely got the better of the deal.