What makes a wedding special for guests?

[woohoo54]

I'm getting married next year, hopefully outdoors (but with an indoor option if it rains) at a venue solely for our use. I haven't been to that many weddings but I really want everyone to have a great time. There will be lots of food throughout the day and some drinks supplied (with a couple of bars if people want more). I've sorted amazing flowers, quartet and great band, photographer, celebrant & something special for the handful of children coming. But I can't help but feel I'm missing something...when you think back to what happened at the favourite wedding you've attended - what made it extra special for you as a guest and why? (Any advice gratefully received)

Cheesy disco.

The people. If I like them I’m happy. If I’m going because I should be there then it’s always going to be meh.

@woohoo54 Everything you've mentioned already sounds lovely but I will say a wedding I went to had a pick and mix of sweets set up it was a massive hit for everyone

Singing waiters!
They come in dressed like the other waiters, then burst into song!
It gets everyone up after meal, I really enjoyed it!

A really good table has always been the thing that 'made' a wedding plus a covers band so songs that everyone knows. Don't try to mix and match people - put them with people they know (or people who are like them ie same age / life stage)

Comfortable seating.... don't have the wedding going on for hours ... ceremony, meal and a little socialising is fine, I am probably in the minority but I wouldn't be interested in dancing/disco in the evening. We've always left weddings before the evening entertainment which I now realise is probably incredibly rude .

Good weather for drifting around outside with nibbles.
No long gaps, but also not rushed.
Shortish speeches that aren't at all offensive.
Excellent live band but space for people to chat and hear one another.

Food, you always remember the food. During any gaps get the substantial canapés circulating. Keep people fed and watered and you're onto a winner.

Weather, fuck all you can do about that
Music not so loud that folk can’t chat
The last one I arranged was massively enhanced by a couple of local lads i had working behind the bar, they were super chatty and friendly and lots of people commented on that.
Also agree re tables, don’t try to spice it up, put people with their friends, or rellies, or someone who they should gel with.

To me it’s no physical discomfort - no long standing around outside by church while couple do photos, no enormous long gaps before dinner, comfy seats, choice of noisy (disco/live band or wherever and somewhere I can talk to friends)

Really good food

Nice speeches

plenty of food!

we had a short ish ceremony, drinks and food in a garden, buffet meal with plenty to go round, then a ceilidh with a live band and a late night buffet. it was fairly informal, but great fun and we had a lot of good feedback from guests!

We went to SILs wedding in the summer and it was quite different. a lot more formal and lots of going round to different locations for photos etc which was ok but a bit faffy. the food was nice enough but there wasn't enough, it was a buffet and I was last in line, there was barely anything left. the meal was reaaalllly long, approx 3hrs we were sat down. then the disco was quite good. think we enjoyed the phase after the most, wandering round, eating cake and chatting to people!

Short and sweet. Most weddings go on for way too long.

Really good thoughtful selection of soft drinks and plenty of water on hand. (DH is teetotal and it really affects our enjoyment when the waiting staff constantly refill wine glasses but you have to ask and ask and ask just for water because there's nothing else he can drink.)
A good table plan which means everyone can have good conversation (I have been to weddings which would otherwise have been lovely but where I have been sat next to such awful or boring people that it's ruined the evening for me. I am a good mixer who works hard to make good conversation and it feels like I get punished for it.)
Somewhere quieter for people who don't want to dance to sit when the music gets going.
None of the speeches longer than 5-7 minutes tops.

No waiting around while the photographer takes a million arty photos. If that happens give me something to do instead.

A great disco where I can also throw in a request. Better still a great live band or the best thing I have ever had at a wedding, a kaylee. So much fun.

A lovely summer wedding with lots of outside space to sit out and mingle with other guests.

A welcome drink is really nice - pimms or bucks fizz.

Short, funny and sentimental speeches after the meal.

On invites ask them for a song request. Pass on to DJ

keep it simple...

don't spend ages having photos done - very boring for guests

keep the time gap between drinks and food appearing short. Anything over an hour (when waiting for photos is toooo long). If your having the speeches before the meal - keep 'em short and I mean all told under 20 mins

please no loud music when trying to talk to people - drop the quartet and start the disco after the meal so people can talk at the table. One wedding I went to was totally ruined by the disco music starting up during the meal

if possible have a quiet area / room for guest when disco is on so if you don't want to dance, you can chat with people. Remember weddings are a good chance for people who don't see each other often to catch up

Oh and forget the Singing waiters - complete turn off for me, and you don't have to worry too much about flowers. Can't recall any flowers from any of the weddings I've been too, but I do remember the ones with poor food and no drink

Best wedding I went to put a load of really fancy cocktails up on the bar at about 10pm

Espresso martinis
Porn star martinis
mojitos
They were bloody amazing and so unexpected. Beautiful glassware. Vetry glam.

@OinkPinkPonk

On invites ask them for a song request. Pass on to DJ

Yes to this.💃💃

Don't spend lots on favours. Best ever are very sweet like wildflowers sweets. I do like it when my placecard is handmade and my name is spelled correctly. seat me with people I know and like.

Evening food? I love a hog roast or a chip wan. Something really informal.

wildflower seeds!!

As a guest i care more about practical considerations for guests than cute nice to haves.

What matters to me are:
Nice food and refreshments at appropriate times
Reasonable timings and no large gaps where the couple have disappeared for over an hour to do photos and the guests are expected to hand around
Plenty of seating throughout the day and somewhere to sit for those of us who don't enjoy being on the dance floor

I’m not sure how big your wedding is but our wedding was really small and so I know it was very special for guests. Everyone was such a huge part of it.

Good weather - which obviously you can't influence.

Not having to spend ages waiting around.

Nice food and enough of it.

Bar not extortionately priced.

Most important things at a wedding for guests are food, drink and entertainment.

We had lots of food (ok far too much food) from canapés to main meal to pizza van at night, put on as much free Prosecco and beer as we could afford and we also had a magician during the day who was honestly fantastic and people still mention him to me now 5 years on. Also we invested money in a really good string trio and band for night time.

I don't think one person has ever spoke about my flowers, decoration or cake (which was eye wateringly expensive) but people say the food booze and entertainment was spot on.

Enough food and booze. Honestly, that’s it. Nobody will notice whether your flower arrangements match the corsages. Everyone will think you look lovely whether your dress is bespoke from Alexander McQueen or from the Cancer Research shop. Nobody cares about wedding favours. But if you feed people well and the booze flows, then everyone will have a good time.