What makes a wedding special for guests?

[woohoo54]

I'm getting married next year, hopefully outdoors (but with an indoor option if it rains) at a venue solely for our use. I haven't been to that many weddings but I really want everyone to have a great time. There will be lots of food throughout the day and some drinks supplied (with a couple of bars if people want more). I've sorted amazing flowers, quartet and great band, photographer, celebrant & something special for the handful of children coming. But I can't help but feel I'm missing something...when you think back to what happened at the favourite wedding you've attended - what made it extra special for you as a guest and why? (Any advice gratefully received)

Put people with people they know- your guests aren’t suddenly going to become lifetime buddies with cousin Mandy from the other side of the family, so it’s just hours of awkward chat until the dancing starts and people can move seats to sit with the people they know and like.

Good food, as much free booze as you can afford

I think my niece and her husband got just about everything spot on.

When we arrived there was a board saying "sit where you like, no bride or groom side, because we both love you all"

Lovely canopies while bride and groom had their photos taken. Lovely, but simple, ( beef or chicken, and a veggie option) meal afterwards.

Fab venue, with plenty of room for children to run around in before and after meal.

Simple decorations in the wedding room itself, gypsophelia and white and candles.

Each bridesmaid came into the room separately, so you could enjoy how they looked. The dresses were the same colour, but each one was different in design.

And, of course, the bride, my neice, looked just wonderful.

Opening poster, those who love you will think it the best wedding ever.

The rest really don't matter

Also the best wedding favour for me was a pin from a charity which they donated to.
Unless it's a shot, chocolate I find they get left about.

Best wedding I went to was very relaxed.
Lots of food. The tables were named after board games ( with the games on them)
There was a quiz between meal and evening music.
It was just lovely

@WimpoleHat

Enough food and booze. Honestly, that’s it. Nobody will notice whether your flower arrangements match the corsages. Everyone will think you look lovely whether your dress is bespoke from Alexander McQueen or from the Cancer Research shop. Nobody cares about wedding favours. But if you feed people well and the booze flows, then everyone will have a good time.

Was just about to write the same! Free bar and plenty of good food. Nothing worse than people going hungry or having to spend fortunes at a bar after already spending a lot to attend.

I don’t eat meat... I’ve been to two weddings where there was literally no food for me, as in, one I ate rolls that went with soup and a pudding because that’s all that was vegetarian, couldn’t even have just a plate of veg because it all already had gravy on it and one where someone went to the supermarket to get me a frozen ready meal... and loads with either a bland mushroom risotto or something with goats cheese. (I’m aware some people like goats cheese, but it’s a very strong flavour if you think it tastes how actual goats smell) Then you get an evening buffet with one plate of food for 6 vegetarians, which other people have eaten before they get up because apparently caterers think people who eat meat only eat meat and nothing else.

So in short, decent food and enough of it...

No hours of hanging about aimlessly while you go take photos at some nearby landmark.

A bar that’s not ridiculously expensive.

I say no seating plan as well, I’ve been to a couple and people just sat where they wanted, it was so much better.

That’s about it really - must of the other stuff is for you rather than things guests care about.

Best wedding I've been to was down to earth and not pretentious, it wasnt fancy it was just very personal, friendly and most importantly was just close family and friends having fun. Dance floor was never empty and it was local. I hate having to travel and stay over for a wedding miles from the bride and grooms home.

Good food, enough seating (and please, if you have elderly/unwell guests, make sure there is seating suitable for them at all points, and that sufficient notice is given for getting them to places - my poor MIL was called for photos when they needed her and then had the feeling of everyone waiting while she had to be helped to the lift, and out to where the photos were being done), non alcoholic drinks during the meal which isn't just tap water, and make sure that your guests actually feel like you want them there, especially if they are evening guests.
String quartets, favours and flowers - tbh I couldn't tell you about any of those.

Just feeling welcome. The last wedding I went to was BIL and now SIL. I wasn't invited to the hen party, the wedding itself was on a day they knew I'd have to work and couldn't just take off (my boss very kindly covered my last hour) and I wasn't included in any photos. I really can't be arsed with them now.

All I want as a wedding guest is not to feel like a spare part.

Reasonable bar or free bar, games and a photo booth/photo book of some sort for guests.

The ones I have the most fun at are the most relaxed so guests have a choice of dancing, chatting, giant jenga or being silly with photos and leaving a message.

Short speeches.
Limited hanging about waiting for the photos to finish.
I also personally like a decent live band.

Don't invite vegans or vegetarians because all they'll focus on and remember is the food apparently see PP

Weddings are great but you need to feed people if there are long gaps before the main meal.

Your guests will happily occupy themselves so long as there's free booze and music

A really gd band or an amazing DJ. I always said I'm not really in to bands however my cousin had the best band I've heard at his wedding and they did all the dance classics and modern ones. One of them was even on the sax (did infinity by guru josh and a few others) and was out on the dance floor with everyone. They were brilliant.

Wedding planner here. A lot of people have already mentioned the things I am about to: plenty of food and drink, a great DJ who can keep people dancing (but I do recommend cutting off at 1ish - the number of weddings I have planned when the couple are convinced everyone will go on until 3/4am and you’re left with 10 very drunk people the staff have to deal with) and ask everyone to keep the speeches brief - 5mins max - anything longer and you really start losing the crowd.

The biggest tip is to make sure you enjoy it! Take time out to pause and experience the day as it goes by in a heartbeat, and if your venue has a wedding coordinator use them!! Make sure they have all the suppliers’ info and know exactly what is going on so you’re not stressed - don’t pass it on to members of the wedding party to oversee as they will then be stressed as well. Leave it to the pros to worry about on the day.

“Don't invite vegans or vegetarians because all they'll focus on and remember is the food apparently see PP grin”

Lol... it’s a really long day if you’re hungry though.

Little bags of sugared almonds or something small like that at each place setting is always a nice surprise for guests.

I would die of cringe if there were singing waiters or magicians or the like.

Cheesy disco, relaxed meal with lots to drink. I LOVE the idea of a chip van in the evening. Don’t mess about with favours or tiny details, hardly anyone will notice. Just have a great time and spend time enjoying the day. If you’re outdoors maybe lots of blankets / hand warmer things for after dark and maybe outdoor games?

Of course this is just me, for people who are much more formal / classy than me (which I suspect you might be, given the quartet), those little details might be important and the chip van will be a turn off.

I am loving these suggestions and honest insight! Please keep them coming! Interesting to hear no one remembered flowers - maybe I should reallocate part of that budget as I had set aside quite a bit for them as I thought they'd make the venue feel really special

Sweet cart defo went down a treat with the kids (and the big kids just send any little ones up for u 😂).

As much booze as u can afford with the meal. Don't just make it wine (hate the stuff) see if u can make it 2 rounds of drinks or more if u can stretch the budget.

Also BIL to be and his GF are vegans I hadn't even thought to check what they can eat on the menu! Will have to look. Love the idea of outdoor games and something to keep people occupied for when photos are happening too...

Time.

Don’t leave people waiting around, make sure the day flows nicely without uncomfortable, awkward gaps.

I was at a very small wedding recently and even though there were only 30 people, the servers were slow and not enough of them so we were on dessert on one table before another had received their mains.

Not read the replies.

The best wedding I’ve been to was one where I didn’t know the couple that well (business associate). But it’s the only one where I truly understood the meaning of a wedding. Lots of people coming together to celebrate the love and commitment between two people.

So it is down to the people.

But maybe because I didn’t know them that well I didn’t pick up on the shite family dynamics.

Best weddings I have been were evening ones and civil ceremony. Not too long wait after ceremony before dinner. Good food and wine. Didn't go on for ages.

Free bar, cheesy disco (ditch the band), outdoor area for kids to piss about in safely, don’t bother with a church bit it’s bollocks, get loads of interesting guests.

I hate it when you have to hang around while they get the photos done. Always seems to take ages and you're sort of in limbo