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What makes a wedding special for guests?

112 replies

woohoo54 · 20/11/2021 20:11

I'm getting married next year, hopefully outdoors (but with an indoor option if it rains) at a venue solely for our use. I haven't been to that many weddings but I really want everyone to have a great time. There will be lots of food throughout the day and some drinks supplied (with a couple of bars if people want more). I've sorted amazing flowers, quartet and great band, photographer, celebrant & something special for the handful of children coming. But I can't help but feel I'm missing something...when you think back to what happened at the favourite wedding you've attended - what made it extra special for you as a guest and why? (Any advice gratefully received) Smile

OP posts:
Hathertonhariden · 22/11/2021 14:05

Timings are helpful - especially so you can be prepared for big gaps.

Also an information sheet with useful stuff on it like numbers for local taxi firms, the nearest cashpoints (especially if rural/destination wedding), names and contact numbers of key people such as BM/MOH/venue manager so that you have a way of getting in touch if there are any issues on the day such as falling ill or car breaking down.

Onceuponatimethen · 22/11/2021 14:25

@Hathertonhariden I kind of disagree on that contact details point which is probably an old fashioned view as I can see it would be useful.

My way of thinking would be that if won’t be critical if anyone can’t get to the venue unless they are bridesmaid, best man etc. In which case they would usually have all contact details.

If my car broke down/late/lost and I’m not in the wedding party or really close to one of the couple I think it’s my own responsibility to sort and I wouldn’t want to disturb the family/wedding planner on the big day.

I would explain lateness or whatever later, probably after they got back from honeymoon though. I wouldn’t be on WhatsApp on the day.

I agree it’s different if a very remote destination with limited facilities though.

woohoo54 · 22/11/2021 18:49

@Hathertonhariden

Timings are helpful - especially so you can be prepared for big gaps.

Also an information sheet with useful stuff on it like numbers for local taxi firms, the nearest cashpoints (especially if rural/destination wedding), names and contact numbers of key people such as BM/MOH/venue manager so that you have a way of getting in touch if there are any issues on the day such as falling ill or car breaking down.

This is genius, the destination is a bit remote so for anyone wanting to get cash ect en route (although the venue does accept card) I could see it being really helpful.
OP posts:
IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 22/11/2021 18:51

Plenty of food, minimal waiting around

Kite22 · 22/11/2021 20:26

Actually ,if the venue only takes card, or only takes cash, then that is useful to let guests know in advance. I did go to a wedding in the middle of nowhere once where this was the case and several people did not have the wherewithal to get themselves a drink. I'd forgotten about that.

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mumonthehill · 23/11/2021 14:13

Do not make people wait for hours while you have photos taken - the best photos we had from our wedding were ones taken by our guests and then sent to us.
Have good food and enough of it.
Have enough drink and a good bar
Do not have speeches that go on too long.
Do be relaxed!
Have good music.

AnnaMagnani · 23/11/2021 14:18

Most of the points have been made already but it is reminding me of The Worst Wedding I Ever Went To

Ceremony - picked hymns no-one knew how to sing. OK, we all expected the ceremony to be dull, but this started us off on a low point.

After ceremony - bride and groom buggered off for hours for arty photos. All guests left hanging around venue outside in their posh outfits with no seating on a hot day with no food or drink provided. Everyone v bored and some elderly guests now looking v ill.

To get into venue - receiving line. I cannot stress how much you should not do this! It took ages, the B+G are not the royal family and by the time we got to the end of it we loathed them.

Seating plan - they decided it would be 'fun' for us all to meet new people so split everyone up. MIL was dealing with FIL who had dementia and didn't know how to cut up his own food, sitting him on a table with absolute strangers was a bonkers idea. Plus she had been confident she would be sitting with Aunty Betty and Great Uncle George... Chaos ensued as everyone tried to trash the seating plan.

Speeches - short and not very many please. By this time we were all very very hungry. We did not need to hear over an hour of speeches but that is what we got anyway. Also, if you are the groom, or the father of the bride, please say something nice about the bride, she's right there.

Food - get it to the guests! They served table by table - first tables had finished eating well before the last ones were served.

No idea how the wedding ended, we bailed and went for a takeaway as we were so bored and hungry.

loadofcrap10 · 06/12/2021 12:08

The best wedding I have been to was also the one with the lowest budget. It was just full of fun, the speeches were both hilarious and serious, the only "extra" was a comedienne who did a turn between the meal and speeches and we also had a game of bingo.
The reception area was small and probably a bit cramped for the meal, there was nothing overly fancy like you have mentioned.
What made it was the feeling of love between the bride and groom, laughter and loads of it, the speeches, a brilliant fun atmosphere and fab DJ music at the evening party.

Monday55 · 06/12/2021 12:16

Easy accessible parking + hosting the whole wedding at one venue.

I've been to weddings whereby I spent an hour looking for parking..After struggles of finding parking we had to leave the ceremony to go to another venue for the reception which also had the same problems.. absolutely nightmare.

Ickle37 · 06/12/2021 22:05

I have been to the most lavish, to literally having to pay for it all. The most lavish- really boring, lots of waiting around, fun for 2 hrs out of 10, leaving horribly drunk and hungry. The " cheapest " wedding i had been too would have been great, but they charge far too much at the bar for a shocking venue and i think it cost me and my partner at the time £200 in drinks ( part of the wedding party, so he had to buy a lot) . In fact their wedding cost £1000 in stuff.
However- key to making sure everyone has a nice time is seating and plenty of wine at the meal. Dont split friends up for " lolz" , or to create more friends etc. Let groups hang out and friendships are made on the dance floor. The single will find each other. I hated always being seated away from my married friends, it was awful and embarrassing.
So in conclusion- free booze at the meal, dont split groups of friends.
Also , don't spend money reinventing the wheel- weddings are weddings, you get married for love, people get drunk and congratulate you- its easy.

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