Most of the points have been made already but it is reminding me of The Worst Wedding I Ever Went To
Ceremony - picked hymns no-one knew how to sing. OK, we all expected the ceremony to be dull, but this started us off on a low point.
After ceremony - bride and groom buggered off for hours for arty photos. All guests left hanging around venue outside in their posh outfits with no seating on a hot day with no food or drink provided. Everyone v bored and some elderly guests now looking v ill.
To get into venue - receiving line. I cannot stress how much you should not do this! It took ages, the B+G are not the royal family and by the time we got to the end of it we loathed them.
Seating plan - they decided it would be 'fun' for us all to meet new people so split everyone up. MIL was dealing with FIL who had dementia and didn't know how to cut up his own food, sitting him on a table with absolute strangers was a bonkers idea. Plus she had been confident she would be sitting with Aunty Betty and Great Uncle George... Chaos ensued as everyone tried to trash the seating plan.
Speeches - short and not very many please. By this time we were all very very hungry. We did not need to hear over an hour of speeches but that is what we got anyway. Also, if you are the groom, or the father of the bride, please say something nice about the bride, she's right there.
Food - get it to the guests! They served table by table - first tables had finished eating well before the last ones were served.
No idea how the wedding ended, we bailed and went for a takeaway as we were so bored and hungry.