Supposed to get married in 2 weeks and I cannot take any more of this :-(

[CoronaBride2020]

Apologies in advance for the utter pity party that is this post. Just feeling so, so shit right now and I’m sure I’m not the only one in this position!

I’m engaged to the most wonderful man and am so excited to be his wife. We had a total dream wedding planned for March this year, with 100 guests, which of course got cancelled with just a few weeks to go. We postponed to the end of October which is now getting very close.

We have been through the original postponement and rearranging everything, then replanned and downsized for 30 people, then downsized again to 15, and now I’m sat here reading the latest news about local lockdowns and Tier 3 restrictions and.... god I just don’t know how much more of this I can take.

With 2 weeks ago am I not supposed to be getting excited and booking nail appointments and getting in a flap about something trivial like table centrepieces or whatever? Instead I’m sat here wondering, yet again, if I’m even going to be able to get married.

I know there are worse things happening in the world, and my loved ones and I all have our health which is of course what really matters in the end but I genuinely feel like I’m having a breakdown right now with so much uncertainty and stress. I’m getting help from my GP and my family are all being amazingly supportive but would love to hear from any other brides in this position because I know it can’t just be me!

I guess it comes down to what is it you really want right now. If if is to be married then go to the registry office and get it done. If you want the big wedding. Cancel it all until you can do that.

It's really shit. Commiserations.

Welcome littlesugarmonkey! The more the merrier! So sorry you’re going through this too!

I guess it comes down to what is it you really want right now. If if is to be married then go to the registry office and get it done.

I appreciate the sentiment MintyMabel but why do people keep saying this? I and all the other ‘corona brides’ are trying very very hard to do exactly that!

I and all the other ‘corona brides’ are trying very very hard to do exactly that!

Exactly this ^^

We plan to go ahead even if it is just us, witnesses and the registrars... the fear is that even this may not be allowed. It'll break my heart not to have our children in attendance though. *
*

I get it op.

We were July this year, moved to July next year and now our venue is being closed down and sold off by the council. Woo.

We thought about "just doing it" but we wouldn't even be allowed our own child at the ceremony so it's a no from us for that. The bigger room allows something like 8 which his parents would kick off about not being invited and I cba with it I've had enough drama already.

We've had the do it and have a big party suggestion but I don't see the point. It's not the same.

I just want what every fucker else has been able to have.

And LOL and wait until next year - that's our current plan but if anyone with a crystal ball can give me a clue whether it will be possible that would be great because we still don't fucking know!!!

I am so done with the whole fucking thing honestly. Sooooo done.

I really do commiserate. We got married last year and all this spring we were saying to each other “imagine if this was last year??”
My heart goes out to you.
Get married as soon as you’re able with just witnesses and have a big party once this whole shitfest is over (hopefully next year). You can even redo your vows and have speeches ... whichever ‘bits’ mean the most to you that you will miss out on this time around.
Wishing you all the best.

Oh TrustTheGeneGenie what a nightmare. I feel really sorry for anyone who’s trying to plan a wedding for next year, I’ve got a few friends who only got engaged recently and I don’t even know where you’d start with trying to plan anything right now.

I think the ‘have a big party’ suggestions come from well meaning people who think the main source of the upset is missing out on the ‘big day’ you had planned, but I don’t think that’s the case for any of us really. The big wedding we had planned would have been amazing but it well and truly belongs to another time now. I just want to be married and never think about it again!

As news starts to be leaked about tomorrow's announcements it seems to suggest, that even in tier 3, weddings for 15 will be allowed! No receptions though BUT the place we are travelling too is on the border of a potential tier 3 lockdown area! Which means it's touch and go whether travel would be banned and we wouldn't be able to stay in the cottage we booked! Gah...my nerves can't take this but for some of you getting married locally, I'm having positive thoughts for you!

*to

@Wineneeded247 non of the leaked travel implications relate to holidays.

Twitter is saying that nothing is confirmed. Arrangements have not yet been agreed between government and the local mayors.

@AldiAisleofCrap I appreciate it is highly unlikely you are Boris but what are your personal thoughts on travel? do you think there will be a ban on self catering cottage stays? I appreciate that is a ridiculous question but I need a glimmer of hope I'm hoping the cottage is actually a proposed tier 2 location as whilst it is close to Bradford, it is actually in North Yorks and no current restrictions! Different council but BD postcode.

Everything crossed for you OP. I would be very surprised if you weren’t able to get married this time. Completely understand how awful and stressful this must be for you though.

Thank you PatchworkElmer, appreciate both the sympathy and the encouraging words!

Everything crossed for you Wine! It’s looking unlikely we’ll be a Tier 3 area I think BUT some of our guests are likely to be travelling from one... Ugh it’s weird how 2 weeks still feels like soooo long as so much can still change in that time! But every day brings it a tiny bit closer.

I’m so stressed out that right now I can’t even imagine enjoying the actual day. I genuinely don’t know how I’ll get through it even if it does happen

So, we have survived another week! One to go! How is everyone feeling? It has been such an emotional roller-coaster and all I keep thinking is that if I get to next Friday with no announcement, I've made it! It'll be a long ass week though! to anyone that needs it.

One week down, shit hitting fan, not sure where any of you lovely brides are... hows it looking ladies? How are you holding up? I think I read most of the tier 3 areas are still allowed 15 person weddings but no receptions.

Cross post! You’re definitely getting closer wineneeded

Tier 1 here and travelling to another tier 1 place for the wedding as we have a week away in a holiday cottage too! Wedding location is North Yorks but very bloody close to Lancashire and West Yorkshire but luckily still tier 1...for now! I still feel like if I start getting organised or packing then I'll jinx it but that's the plans for this weekend as busy end of term week next week so operation wedding is a go (with everything crossed and a voodoo doll of Boris made in advance, just in case!
Whereabouts is everyone else?!! Is it looking positive for you guys?

And yes @ReeseWitherfork looks like a wedding can go ahead even if tier 3 but just no reception! If things change drastically we have said we'll still get married, but just us and our children as it is a 2-3 hour drive for our guests and they probably wouldn't be able to stay in the accommodation!

I started a dedicated pity party thread where a few of us have been venting! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/wedding/4048009-Autumn-Winter-2020-corona-brides-and-grooms-Pity-Party

I’m doing MUCH better this week. It got really bad back there, like I genuinely think I had a bit of a breakdown! But I’m weirdly calm this week.

We are Tier 2 as of tomorrow (London) which hopefully means we won’t be moving up to Tier 3 in the next week but I’m very aware that it’s still a possibility. If that happens then ceremonies can still go ahead though, so I’m sloooowly letting go of the fear that weddings will be totally cancelled again in the next 8 days! I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to fully exhale though until the wedding ring is literally on my finger! It just feels like absolutely anything can happen these days!

Ooh I'll pop over and have a read! Same feeling here, my thinking is that we travel to the cottage next Friday so as long as there is no circuit breaker announcement by the Wednesday, we should be OK! Any rumours of that all suggest Monday 26th so I am trying to stay positive! I'm sure we'll look back at this and laugh in years to come but right now, I'm still a woman on the edge! The fact tier 2 is still allowing weddings and receptions made me feel so much better! Gah we get married next week

Yeah all the talk of ‘circuit breaker’ lockdown starting on the 24th (my wedding day) nearly sent me into a tailspin again this week but even then, there was no actual talk of stopping weddings and the rational part of my brain is telling me it’s highly unlikely to happen with this little time left to go but still... gaaaah!

The most likely disruption now is that my fiancé’s family won’t be able to come for some reason, which would be heartbreaking, but we’ve made our peace with pretty much every eventuality that still sees us get married at the end of it!

The rumours around here are that it would start on the 26th and I'm desperately holding onto that date!

I'm so glad you've picked up this week and have started planning again, I've gone the other way and have the palpitations and stress headache! Rational me keeps thinking surely the govt have to give the tier system at least a fortnight to work before any major changes such as a lockdown or circuit breaker. The emotional me can't actually cope The totally irrational me has also developed a hatred of Keir Starmer for demanding a lockdown! Doesn't he know we've got bloody weddings booked

@Wineneeded247 saw the news about tier 3 in S Yorkshire and thought of you - my northern geography is shocking but as you’ve said west/north Yorks can I assume that means you’re OK?

Far too invested in your weddings now ladies... dammit something good needs to happen!

I've found my people !! Another Covid bride here hanging on until the 30th having moved the date from May. It feels like anything could change at any time and its been very, very stressful