Supposed to get married in 2 weeks and I cannot take any more of this :-(

[CoronaBride2020]

Apologies in advance for the utter pity party that is this post. Just feeling so, so shit right now and I’m sure I’m not the only one in this position!

I’m engaged to the most wonderful man and am so excited to be his wife. We had a total dream wedding planned for March this year, with 100 guests, which of course got cancelled with just a few weeks to go. We postponed to the end of October which is now getting very close.

We have been through the original postponement and rearranging everything, then replanned and downsized for 30 people, then downsized again to 15, and now I’m sat here reading the latest news about local lockdowns and Tier 3 restrictions and.... god I just don’t know how much more of this I can take.

With 2 weeks ago am I not supposed to be getting excited and booking nail appointments and getting in a flap about something trivial like table centrepieces or whatever? Instead I’m sat here wondering, yet again, if I’m even going to be able to get married.

I know there are worse things happening in the world, and my loved ones and I all have our health which is of course what really matters in the end but I genuinely feel like I’m having a breakdown right now with so much uncertainty and stress. I’m getting help from my GP and my family are all being amazingly supportive but would love to hear from any other brides in this position because I know it can’t just be me!

@severusbadger congratulations! That does sound lovely and romantic and I hope you get your trip to Vegas in the future.

Apologies, I’ve just read @IndiaMay post. I was under the impression that they were still allowing 2 people on their own to get married with no witnesses etc. Well that’s what all the newspaper reports of couples doing it just to be married had led me to believe.

Hi all, sorry for going silent! Went out for a walk to clear my head. Thank you for all the lovely kind comments and all the sympathy! And so sorry to everyone going through the same thing.

I know people mean well and I guess if you aren’t currently in this situation it’s hard to understand. Saying ‘just get married, that’s all that matters’ is very well-meaning I know but this isn’t about ‘normal’ wedding stress where that might be the best advice, this is about the possibility of not even being able to ‘just get married’ at all ( IndiaMay thank you for saying that, and I’m sorry about your wedding too!)

I’m grateful to everyone reassuring me that weddings won’t be affected and it does sound like you’re right, so thank you. But things have changed so unexpectedly so often that I don’t think I will actually believe it until I’m on my way to the register office! Possibly not even then!

keeprocking I’m so sorry about your husband and i promise my comment about nails was completely flippant! I don’t give a monkey’s about my nails (they’re chewed to bits from all the stress anyway) I just said that as an example of what ‘normal’ brides might be doing with 2 weeks to go, compared with worrying about whether the wedding will even happen! I’m looking forward to looking back on it all and laughing too

SunShinesAutumn no, we live together, but you need 2 witnesses to get married hence my concerns if households can’t mix (though it incredibly sounds like weddings will probably still be exempt, but no one can say just yet)

And yep, over the summer it was impossible to get married at all, you couldn’t even book a notice appointment at our register office so there was absolutely no way to ‘just get married’ even if you wanted to. We were checking the website every day as that’s exactly what we wanted to do, we were going to grab a couple of neighbours and go get married ASAP but we ended up having to stick with our initial postponed date as there were no other options.

Oh and as for having a big party next year, again I know that everyone saying this (here and IRL) means well but honestly right now the LAST thing I want to think about is planning yet another wedding/event/party next year! I am DONE with planning! But I’m sure I will come to feel differently in the future and we’ll probably have a big party for an anniversary or a big birthday eventually!

@BluebellsGreenbells

The wedding pressure comes from the wedding market.

He loves you, you want to be married.

If that’s means two witnesses then do that.

You could have a big party when this is all over and you’ve something to celebrate!

Just this.

Putting my hand up as another Corona bride and TOTALLY get what you are saying. We are also on wedding 4.0 and in a potential red area

I just want it bloody over with now, every ounce of joy has been sucked out of getting married thanks to the constant uncertainty, the guilt of having to tell yet another self employed person that things have changed yet again, the fact that everyone seems to be looking at us for answers about what is happening (as if you get given extra information).

And the next person who says to me 'just get married, the party isn't important' is as risk of getting punched squarely on the nose while I scream 'THAT'S WHAT WE ARE FUCKING TRYING TO DO, YOU ABSOLUTE PATRONISING ARSEHOLE'.

Not least because it's usually the smug people that actually got to have the wedding of their dreams and were having full on meltdowns because the chair covers were the slightly wrong colour......

Aaaaaand breathe, sorry apparently I needed that rant!!!

It's shit isn't it OP

No way around it, it's not what you planned.

Book the registry office ASAP and save the dress and the plans for a celebration later, maybe on your anniversary?

You will look back on this one day and laugh

You have my sympathy OP. Planning a wedding at the moment is a complete nightmare. Of course you want the dream wedding you planned and there nothing wrong with that. You are entitled to feel upset it’s it going to happen the way you wanted.

My cousin had a large wedding planned in August and in the end went ahead with a small registry office affair (with just a few guests) and a meal with less than 30 people outside, which was what was allowed at the time. They have re-scheduled the big celebration for August next year and I sincerely hope it can go ahead as planned.

I can quite understand your exhaustion over the constant uncertainty and changes to your plans. I hope you have an amazing day when it comes and it will be amazing, even if it’s just the two of you and a couple of witnesses.

• And the next person who says to me 'just get married, the party isn't important' is as risk of getting punched squarely on the nose while I scream 'THAT'S WHAT WE ARE FUCKING TRYING TO DO, YOU ABSOLUTE PATRONISING ARSEHOLE'.

Not least because it's usually the smug people that actually got to have the wedding of their dreams and were having full on meltdowns because the chair covers were the slightly wrong colour......*

Hahahaha gurglebelly no comment!

When is your wedding? Everything crossed for you too! Welcome to the pity party! passes L plates and rude genital-themed straw of your choice

I feel so sorry for people planning weddings this year. It’s disingenuous to say “Just have the big party when all this is over”. I imagine most people who’ve had scaled down weddings will just say “Fuck it, there’s absolutely no point in spending all that money now”.

The wedding industry has taken a massive hit and I suspect the effects of this will affect weddings for a very long time to come.

Also re; have big party next year/get married next year. Every single venue around here is booked up till 2023.

I’m not going to cancel my wedding for another three years or more.

CoronaBride I hope you have an utterly magical day.

You too frazzledasarock honestly this thread has already made me feel so much better just being able to vent to other brides in the same boat. It’s very lonely going through this and not knowing anyone else in the same position (except my fiancé obviously!)

@LeanishMachine

I was really shocked when they banned weddings too. Wedding parties, of course had to be restricted but the ceremony itself, the timing of which can be vital for some people.

I'd get it done while you can OP, today, if that's possible. I don't know if it is? Then plan something lovely to do with all the saved money.

Of course it isn't possible! You have to give notice at least 28 days before

Of course it isn't possible! You have to give notice at least 28 days before

Yes I think this is what a lot of people are missing, even if we just decided to rock up at the town hall on a Tuesday morning in our jeans with a couple of strangers we grabbed on the street, you still need to book it at least a month before!

You have every right to feel disappointed, keeping my fingers crossed that your wedding goes ahead . I know quite a few in the same position OP, it’s very stressful.

Ladies! I have found my people! The registry offices and weddings are bastard well booked folks, we just don't know whether we'll be able to walk down the aisle/manky carpet and that is the frigging problem!

To each of us holding on to our sanity by our badly chewed fingernails, there is still hope and there is alcohol so cheers to you all and I really hope we all get our days! I am now going to try on my dress and practise doing my hair with my best friend who has alcohol and tissues to mop me up when I have the inevitable strop/emotional breakdown!

To anyone who hasn't read the thread, our weddings are booked, we are imminent brides, we have accepted that we may only have 1 or 2 guests but there is a possibility that tier 3 restrictions may cancel our weddings! Thank you to those of you who 'get it', I hope to be toasting you all for keeping me sane during the uncertainty in a fortnight!!!

@CoronaBride2020

* And the next person who says to me 'just get married, the party isn't important' is as risk of getting punched squarely on the nose while I scream 'THAT'S WHAT WE ARE FUCKING TRYING TO DO, YOU ABSOLUTE PATRONISING ARSEHOLE'.

Not least because it's usually the smug people that actually got to have the wedding of their dreams and were having full on meltdowns because the chair covers were the slightly wrong colour......*

Hahahaha gurglebelly no comment!

When is your wedding? Everything crossed for you too! Welcome to the pity party! passes L plates and rude genital-themed straw of your choice

We were meant to be June, but am now due in January so a bit longer to wait than you. What did you do on your original date? We cracked open the bubbles and got horribly drunk while sitting in the garden 🤣

Aww Wine have a lovely afternoon! I don’t drink but I’m currently enjoying a massive slice of cake instead and it’s excellent.

I’m sure a lot of people reading are thinking ‘of course they aren’t going to cancel weddings, don’t be silly’ but see the thing is, people were saying exactly that to me the first time around too! Literally dozens of people told me I was worrying about nothing and of course my wedding would happen and then... BAM no weddings allowed at all for months! So it’s just hard to let go of the fear of it happening again, however unlikely it may seem to others.

Crossing my fingers for all of us!!

When the guests were reduced to 15 they did exempt those who were taking place imminently, I hope if there's alterations on Monday they will offer the same courtesy. If you can't have 15, how about 2 witnesses at the registry office?

What did you do on your original date? We cracked open the bubbles and got horribly drunk while sitting in the garden 🤣

We actually had a lovely day! We had a Zoom with family and were surprised with a long compilation of video messages from about half our guests which was totally amazing and unexpected! It definitely makes you realise what’s important and there was so much love pouring in from all sides which was really amazing.

If you can't have 15, how about 2 witnesses at the registry office?

That would be a shame as we wouldn’t be able to have our families there but we’d still go ahead for sure, we’d probably just have our photographers double as witnesses as they’re also friends of ours and it would be nice to have some photos to show everyone who couldn’t be there.

I really feel for you @CoronaBride2020 and understand. We were married on Wednesday and the stress on the run up was hard to deal with. I didn’t realise just how tense I was until I woke up the day after and felt relaxed in a way I haven’t felt in weeks. I am keeping everything crossed for you but just one thing to add - we eloped with only the 2 of us and 2 witnesses....and it just couldn’t have been more perfect. Keep believing and I hope you have the best day ever xx

The marriage is the most important thing, at least if you don't invest in all the wedding hype you'll start off with the right focus, the marriage.
Plenty go to the register office then home for egg and chips and have a happy marriage till death do they part.

It's a shame and I'm so sorry for you, but try and focus on your marriage, not a white dress and one day of it.

Devlesko That is what we’re trying to do! I guess I must have given the wrong impression in my posts somehow because people keep telling me to focus on the marriage and not the wedding but as I keep saying, all I want is to BE married! I’ve been engaged for over two years and should have been married for seven months right now!

I’m wearing the dress because I have it and I might as well, but it is most definitely not my focus.