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Original poster

Critique my wedding pweese

60 replies

Popsicle434544 · 24/01/2019 14:31

Jumping on band wagon here, seen a couple of other brides do this.

Second guessing myself in regards to our wedding.

Church ceremony at 4pm for 45 mins, then on to golf club (5mins down road)
On arrival we have pimms and soft drinks for guest's and sharing platteres on tables (picky bits) whilst we have our photo's.
Dj will be playing background music.
6.30 cutting of cake and speeches and we will provide glass champagne.
7pm evening guests arrive.
7.30 first dance. And music gets started.
8.30 bbq with lots of sides
Shortly after that lay out wedding cake and krispy kremes for who prefers them.
We have a photo booth and outside giant garden games for kids.
We are also putting some money behind bar hopefully...

Xx

OP posts:
flamingofridays · 24/01/2019 15:03

what part of "BBQ" are you all missing? is a bbq not real food?

Jackshouse · 24/01/2019 15:03

Too late for good.

Jackshouse · 24/01/2019 15:03

Food not good

gentlyscented · 24/01/2019 15:05

Sounds like you need more food. People are missing dinner time and have to wait til 8:30 for a bbq. I'd have a buffet for day quests. Plus timing doesn't always run smooth you might not be getting that bbq at 8:30

SoupDragon · 24/01/2019 15:08

I think I would bring the evening bits forward by an hour.

Iwantacampervan · 24/01/2019 15:12

Why are you having day guests and evening guests when there's no meal. Why not just invite everyone to the whole thing.

You are excluding the evening guests only from the drinks and sharing platters and speeches as anyone can attend the church service - why?

Honeyroar · 24/01/2019 15:12

There's nothing wrong with the BBQ aspect, just it's late timing. Like I said previously, I went to a wedding with similar timings and while I'd always coo about how lovely it was to their faces, in reality it was not fun, and I'm not the only person who thought so. The picky bits would have to be really substantial for this to work.

ecuse · 24/01/2019 15:16

Agree - the point of evening guests usually is if you can't afford to formally feed all. If the BBQ is for everyone anyway, what do you gain by having some second tier guests? I would invite everyone for all of it, then you can eat earlier (and potentially do cake/speeches later)

WhoIsBU · 24/01/2019 15:16

Sounds perfect to me. If i was invited I'm sure i'd be capable of seeing that as dinner is at 8.30, I would have a good late lunch before going to the ceremony. Picky bits will be fine to tide people over until the bbq. Free drink on arrival is fine, free bar not expected at all. It sounds great fun OP!

Maybe it's because you used "picky bits" instead of hores d'oufers or whatever that's putting some people off. It is one of the most hated phrases on MN afterall Grin (LH)

Spam88 · 24/01/2019 15:24

I was at a wedding once where things over ran and the evening guests arrived while we were all still sitting down listening to the speeches. They all got ushered into another room to wait and urgh it was so awkward - just really reinforces that they weren't invited to be part of that! So I'd allow more time between speeches and evening guests, but also don't underestimate how long photos can take if you're having group shots. Agree with PPs that cake cutting is normally done once evening guests are there.

LordPickle · 24/01/2019 15:30

Cake and speeches at 6:30 then evening guests at 7:00 is madness. What if people arrive early? (And many will) It will be very awkward for them to arrive during speeches and have to stand back while the "main" guests sit and nibble and listen.

chickydoo · 24/01/2019 16:05

In all honesty I think you need to provide a proper meal for your day guests. People look forward to the food.
If people are travelling a fair distance they might have had an early lunch expecting a great meal after the service around 6.30pm.
To make them hang around for a BBQ until 8.30pm is pretty grim.

chickydoo · 24/01/2019 16:09

Also
I have NEVER been to a wedding with a pay bar. Don't make your guests pay for drinks. You invited them, you pay! Would you make your friends pay for drinks if you invited them to a BBQ in your garden at home?

MrsMoastyToasty · 24/01/2019 16:11

I would also suggest feeding the guests earlier, especially if there are children and elderly folk who can't stomach a late meal.

firstbrightday · 24/01/2019 16:19

It seems odd that you're cutting he cake before the evening guests arrive

PragmaticWench · 24/01/2019 16:25

Can you serve the bbq at 7:30 then do your first dance at 8:30? Half eight seems far too late, although the rest sounds fun. Lovely to see a late afternoon ceremony, I seriously HATE it when the ceremony is just after midday and you know you've got hours until proper food.

wildgirls · 24/01/2019 16:26

Confused by people who struggle to go from the hours of 4-8.30 without food (even though there will be nibbles) and would need to bring their own snacks?!
I think it all sounds lovely and would not expect there to be an open bar at a wedding! Its amazing of there is (and she has said that they will try to put money behind the bar)
it seems like people's general thoughts on a wedding on MN is that it's a bit of a chore to be invited and the B&G should make it as appealing as possible.
Agree re the evening guests though. unless the church is pretty small and cant accommodate.
Sounds super nice! Makes me want to go to a wedding!

CMOTDibbler · 24/01/2019 16:33

But it's not 4-8.30 is it? Say I was going to my nephews wedding. We'd leave the house at 12, drive the hour there, check into a hotel, get dressed, do my hair/makeup etc, then drive to church, getting there at least 30 mins early, might leave more time depending on location.
So we might have had a sandwich in the car on the way, but nothing more.
And wouldn't normally start drinking at 5 either - I've been to more than one wedding where people are very drunk very early through drinks on an empty stomach

ShatnersBassoon · 24/01/2019 16:38

Why are you having day guests and evening guests when there's no meal. Why not just invite everyone to the whole thing.

This was my thought too. Why can't everyone come for the drinks and nibbles, speeches, see the cake being cut etc?

flamingofridays · 24/01/2019 16:42

I have NEVER been to a wedding with a pay bar. Don't make your guests pay for drinks. You invited them, you pay! Would you make your friends pay for drinks if you invited them to a BBQ in your garden at home?

I have NEVER been to a wedding with a free bar.

If I was invited to a BBQ in someones garden I would probably take a couple of bottles of wine/fizz/whatever with me, so really I would be paying for drinks....

LaurieFairyCake · 24/01/2019 16:44

4-8.30 is too long without food. You'd have to make the sharing platters massive.

I may not have eaten since 2 if there was a drive to get there. 8.30 is way too late if there's any children at wedding.

flamingofridays · 24/01/2019 16:45

But it's not 4-8.30 is it?

well it is if all guests are local to OP.

For instance, all my wedding guests but 2 (if they come) are local, and if those 2 who are not local do come, they would probably drive up the day before and stay with a relative / in a local hotel...

Redglitter · 24/01/2019 16:46

I have NEVER been to a wedding with a pay bar. Don't make your guests pay for drinks. You invited them, you pay Would you make your friends pay for drinks if you invited them to a BBQ in your garden at home

Ive NEVER been to a wedding with a free bar. Its only something I've ever seen on here.

Most people dont host a BBQ the size of a wedding and as pp said anyone going to a BBQ would take drink with them

Flowersonthewall · 24/01/2019 16:47

Tbh I can't get passed the word pweese 🙈

I'd bring the bbq forward, even in the summer half 8 it's getting cooler and if you're having children at the wedding that's pretty late for them to eat! Also it's not like you're having any day guests eating a bit meal so bring it forward and invite everyone to everything? Unless your venue for the ceremony is too small?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 24/01/2019 16:51

8.30pm is a bit late to start the main food of the day.
There will be a queue, loads won't get fed until gone 9.
I'd be starving by then (unless I'd found the cut wedding cake and eaten 3 slices...)