Hello my darling girl. First and foremost, I had absolutely no idea you had had a baby. I was sans internet for the first couple of months of this year as I moved house.
Can I just say I am absolutely over the moon for you. Your baby is not only completely handsome, but has the most lovely names. I know how long and hard you worked to have him and he must be a constant joy to you. Jolly well done to you pcm, I am beaming with happiness for you.
Now, back to the matter in hand...
The negativity aimed at breastfeeding women makes me so cross my teeth itch. Your milk, I can promise you, is absolutely the best nutrition for your little ds. You have a very clever body there that knows how to make food for your little boy. I know you lost faith in your body's ability a little bit when trying to make ds but look at him, you made him and you can sustain him.
It is absolutely infuriating that people believe they can make such open and disparaging remarks now that you have a baby and about a personal and beautiful breastfeeding relationship that is between you and your ds. I guess it starts when you're pg and they start commenting on your bump and what you're eating and what you're wearing and how you're carrying and what colour the nursery is blah blah. Comments on your weight I daresay stem from nosiness and jealousy. Does it matter whether you've shrunk down to the size of a pea or blown up like an elephant? This has nothing to do with your milk quality and it certainly has nowt to do with your sister.
Your clever little boy knows how much milk he needs. At his age he is developing so rapidly. Think how much he has changed in a matter of weeks and how much he changes almost daily. He is learning, observing, using his body, developing a secure attachment to you, his Mum who comes to him in the night when he needs milk and comfort and all of this takes sustenance. Now, tell me, how is a couple of spoonfuls of mush with very little nutrient content going to aid all of this development? How is something with the goodness and consistency of wallpaper paste going to provide something that your nutrient and calorie rich, ds-designed milk can't? And ditto some milk from a cow's udder is going to help matters how?
This bit is important. Sleep is a developmental thing. You can make your ds sleep through as easily as you can make him walk and talk. Babies sleep through when they are ready. That solid little bit of sleep he does early in the night is fantastic and he sounds like he's doing fabulously. Also sounds like he cluster feeds in the early hours instead of in the evening like a lot of babies. Of course you can't bear to hear him cry. That cry is his way of communicating to you that he is hungry, thirsty, wet, dirty or in need of you. Mother nature designed it so that you would want to respond to him. And he's such a tiny thing and learning the most important lesson of all, that you will come when he needs you most. Please have faith that this is all normal. Weaning will not make him sleep. Routine will not make him sleep. You can gently guide him and he will find his own way when he is ready.
If he is low on the centile charts then maybe he is going to be a little. Maybe that's just his size. If he is happy and healthy, gaining weight, developing normally and has normal nappies then he is absolutely fine, he's just a wee soul.
Please have faith. You are doing such a good job. I know you're tired. DD fed every 2hrs day and night for 6 months and co-sleeping is all that got me through it. Are you sleeping during the day too?
And when your sister, sil or mil comment then just look slightly concerned and calmly state 'you seem very interested in my breasts. I'm worried you're becoming obsessed and it's making me uncomfortable. Please desist'. And if they dare to ask for a cup of tea for example, treat them how they wish you to treat your baby. Say, oh no you don't need tea, you need castor oil and didn't you have a drink 3hrs ago, you're not scheduled for another one yet.
Well done, congratulations and enjoy your little boy.