Will my 4 year old ever self-wean?!

[HanaPales]

My DD just turned 4. She still breastfeeds as part of her bedtime routine (either nap or night). I share bedtime duties with DH and MIL so this ends up being me feeding her around 4 times a week. I really wanted to keep the BF going until she chose to stop (she's our only child, and she's super sweet, affectionate and sensitive so it hurt me to think of removing something that gave her comfort). I've been practising 'never offer, never refuse' for more than 2 years now. There have been some times over the past year where I thought she was stopping (down to only a few sucks each side) but then she would pick it back up again. I don't really have any strong reason to make her stop so don't want to force it, but I admit I would quite like her to choose to stop sometime soon! She is quite obsessed with my boobs and my body in general (sometimes I walk around the house topless / in my underwear and she kind of goes a bit crazy wanting to touch my skin. She's tells me all the time how nice I look and how nice my body is. She's more into me than any lover of mine ever has been 😂).

Looking for stories from other mums who carried on extended breastfeeding for this long - how did it work out for you? Did your LO choose to stop at some point? I am wondering if the BF has become so habitual now (I'm pretty sure that she's not doing it for the milk because barely anything comes out if I squeeze the boob), that she won't choose to stop and I'll have to force it at some point.

Not looking for comments of it being weird to keep going for this long - you're free to think what you like but it's not the point of this post 😉

I am enjoying the outrage on this thread from an offhand comment of mine 😅. I am sorry if any weirdos get encouraged to sexualise BF because of it - that is clearly not my intention! One of the reasons I am feeling that I need to force the weaning is because my kid really does seem to want to be in physical contact with me a LOT, and can‘t really concentrate on other things except touching my skin if I happen to be wearing skimpy clothes in the house (I live in a hot climate and I do walk around in few clothes often. Not in a sexy way, in an ‘I‘m very sweaty and bras are uncomfortable‘ way). She doesn‘t do this with DH. She has always had a marked preference for me over DH, despite the fact that he‘s a fantastic father and they have a ball together. So I am wondering if the continued BF is somehow fueling this, and if ending it will make things more even. But to reassure those who were concerned, I obviously do understand the difference between my kid and my lover .
Anyway thanks for all the useful comments from people who‘ve been in a similar situation.

Just saying. 90% of these posts tend to be unneccessary and slightly uncomfortable detail and 10% asking for help. I breastfed for a lot longer than some people found comfortable but even I felt a bit ill reading some of that. She’s old enough to even have a full conversation about it so just tell her the milks gone and no more. Not hard.

All sounds good reasons to stop then. I’ve just done it with my 2.5 year old and it was a lot easier than I expected. Distraction was key (and not putting her to bed for a few nights in a row). I think a 4 year old will be fine if you explain why and stick to it. It doesn’t have to be a big deal even if it feels like it will be.

I weaned at 2yo and am about to do so again as I've had enough so kudos for sticking it out that long.

It's hard to find practical help on weaning older toddlers, and it's about more than milk, it's about closeness and reassurance so you need to find new ways to provide that. Google "Emma Pickett weaning toddler Bob and preschooler Billie". She's a breastfeeding consultant and her article is about how to wean different age toddlers. I found it really helpful.