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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Do Not BLW!

264 replies

user1494494728 · 11/05/2017 10:29

Yesterday was the final straw, I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer, Baby Led Weaning has gone seriously, dangerously wrong (if it was ever even right to start with).

I attend a weekly mums group, of which I (as far as I’ve worked out) am the only one who is doing traditional weaning. Yesterday, I sat quietly and watched a 7 month old baby have a bacon sandwich for her lunch. A BACON FUCKING SANDWICH. After producing this nutritional feast for her toothless child the mother then looks around and asks where she needs to go to get baby vitamins. It took everything in me not to scream out ‘try the vegetable aisle in the supermarket you stupid bitch!’. I asked if this was the childs lunch or just a snack, to which the reply was, oh no it’s her lunch, she loves bacon and it’s so easy for her to hold’, well… so is a fucking shoelace but I wouldn’t give it to my baby for lunch. Meanwhile, another mother next to me opens a tub of humous and gives it to her 6 month old baby (yes, the whole pot) with a handful of toast. The other mothers chimed in and said how incredibly healthy the baby was because it was eating chickpeas, clearly they have no idea how much salt is in a slice of bread let alone a full sized tub of humous (some pots of humous are known to contain 4 entire crisp bags worth of salt). For dinner that night this same child would go on to sit at the table and gum at a piece of carrot and lump of chicken. Try and working out how much nutrition this child has had today?

In reality there’s only so much you can give a 6 month old baby who hasn’t got any teeth and has swallowed nothing but milk it’s entire life. Going from this to sticking a lump of celery of even chicken in it’s hand is bloody cruel. Naturally it’s going to want to play with it before it eats it, which is why all BLW mums say 99% of the food lands on the floor and very little in the childs actual mouth.

I recently found out that not only has virtually no research been done on BLW, but it was also invented by a Healthvisitor. We have been feeding babies on healthy, nutritious purees for thousands of years then a health vistor comes along with no research whatsoever and starts a fad. The only clear research done on BLW shows that it can be harmful to babies who are struggling to gain weight, doesn’t that tell you enough? (for the mum who’s thinking blenders haven’t been around that long remember that in third world countries today women are still chewing food up and feeding it to their babies, it’s naturally what we are supposed to do, BLW is NOT natural).

Then there is the choking hazard which I’m only going to step on lightly, the day you see your own child properly choke (and one day it will happen) will possibly be the worst day of your life. Why risk this earlier than need be? It’s ludicrous, what’s the rush and what’s the point other than putting your child at risk for a fad? One of the mothers at the group recently said ‘oh he’s only choked a few times’. Well for me that’s a few times too many. And no, a baby CAN NOT choke on puree, if you’re confused as to why look up the definition of choking.

Bread is easy, cheap and soft, it’s fast becoming the staple food of choice for BLW mumies and there’s no arguing that, I’ve watched it happen first hand. In those first years of life a babies cells are developing the fastest they will ever develop again, this is the time that as their mummy we need to step up and make sure we give our child everything they need, it not about giving the baby a choice it’s about giving them a chance and a healthy start. Yes if you want to give your child hand held snacks, great - do it all day AS SNACKS, but please get in your kitchens and make up some healthy, nutritious pureed or mashed foods and spoon feed every last little drop into their mouths, this time will go so fast and least then you can look back and say you gave them the best start you possibly could.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 31/05/2017 19:45

Where is there advice to give hard raw food to 6 month old babies? I haven't seen that advice. I wouldn't give a stick of raw carrot or similar to a young baby and I would never suggest it.

No one would seriously suggest that babies must learn to choke. Choking means a blocked airway and it's an emergency situation for goodness sake! But, choking is not at all the same as gagging. Gagging is fine, it can happen to some degree or other whatever kind of food you feed your baby. It's a reflex of the tongue which is much further forward than an adult's reflex, which is protective and prevents choking because food is automatically ejected. It can sound a bit alarming and sometime babies with a very sensitive gag reflex will vomit. If you have a baby that gags a lot and then vomits a lot, then maybe BLW isn't the best idea to begin with and a period of using purées is appropriate.

People suggest first aid courses to alleviate the anxiety of the parent, not because they anticipate several life threatening choking events! And because its a good idea any way to know some proper first aid.

You're calling BLW irresponsible and yet at the same time saying you're not criticising people's parenting. Hmm.

ILiveForNachos · 31/05/2017 19:53

Wow OP. I going to send you a massive hug. You are obviously very unhappy about something in your life at the moment and I can guarentee that it's not actually baby led weaning....

Parenting is hard. You do your thing and let other people do theirs.

RainbowChasing · 31/05/2017 19:57

Oh for goodness sake. I've seen parents spoon feeding absolute muck into their 6 month old's mouth so I don't think you can tar all BLWeaners with the same brush. If someone is going to give their children unhealthy food they will do it regardless of whether they are spoon fed or do BLW. A spoon fed baby I know regularly guzzles baby bottles full of coke at meal times whilst being fed nothing but Petit Filous yoghurts.

This is the same as breastfeeding vs bottle feeding- it's none of your business what other people do with their children. You saw a snap shot of a child being fed something unsuitable. That doesn't mean that's what they're fed all day everyday. Give it a rest.

DownWithThisSortaThing · 31/05/2017 20:17

Oh get a life.
I didn't give my son any puree but I also didn't give him unhealthy or raw, hard food. Not once have I ever read or been told to give a baby hard food, it's always soft food. Common sense isn't it?
My son also never choked, eats well and is healthy.
I know some mums who prefer to make purée which is great and they love it, and their babies love it, but it wasn't for us. My baby loved feeding himself and I enjoyed letting him explore the food and watching him learn.

Feed your child how you like but fuck off judging me on how I fed mine.

riddles26 · 01/06/2017 05:33

Why call it BLW?
BLW is a term that describes allowing baby to dictate what and how much they eat. So the parent does not aim to get baby to eat a set portion of food. It also advocates introducing a range of flavours and textures from the beginning, rather than single purees/vegetables in traditional weaning. This is done by allowing baby to feed themselves and experiment with food but there is no need to make sweeping generalisations about BLWers based on a few enthusiasts.

The rules are what you want them to be - I choose not to have any and be led by my daughter and how she prefers to be fed. Some days she likes me to feed her, generally, she prefers to feed herself. Like a pp, I don't want to be cleaning yoghurt from my walls so I feed her that for convenience.

I'm not sure where you have read to give babies hard food at 6 months - I am yet to read a source which says this and I did a lot of research before weaning. Everything encourages age appropriate textures.

As for gagging - be led by your baby! My daughter can't stand purees and loves textures, I've tried the odd pouch for convenience and she's refused it in favour of my meal when out. If your child gags and can't tolerate the textures, then puree may be the way forward for you. Neither are wrong so there is no need to get worked up.
Assasinatedbeauty has described gagging vs choking perfectly and Pp who suggested babies need to learn to choke is evidently confused. There is no need to label all BLWers as irresponsible based on that post.

nooka · 01/06/2017 06:17

When my two were little Annabel Karmel purees were all the rage. I found weaning them very stressful. Ages spent on making various purees (some of which were very strange and probably quite disgusting too). I stressed when ds spat them out as I tried valiantly to get 'every last little drop' into his mouth, and I doubt he enjoyed that much either. dd had more commercial alternatives and was more compliant but then became a very fussy eater with a real issue about textures. I don't really think the little jars of sweet tasteless mush were better than a bit of soft broccoli or other finger food.

It was my older relatives who suggested giving them something to hold instead so while BLW may be a new term I think the concept has been around for ages. Should I become a granny (my children are teenagers so not soon please!) I will suggest a mix of finger foods and spooned foods if they ever ask what I think is best.

LaurieMarlow · 01/06/2017 11:43

There's lots of really good stuff behind blw, particularly feeding the baby what you're eating and engaging with the at the table.

What's silly about it is as follows ...,

Assuming it's anything new under the sun. It's what mothers have been doing for centuries, dressed up with a fancy name that taps into current parenting trends. Nice job on the marketing Gill.

Adhering to silly rules like avoidance of spoons. I've watched a friend of mine make 'porridge fingers' for her daughter because if you use a spoon, you're not part of the blw club. I've also seen people advocate dipping bread in yoghurt to avoid evil spoon feeding. Madness.

Declaring their baby has 'never had purée' like that's some kind of badge of honour. Puréed or mashed food is an integral part of our culinary culture, in soups, sauces, sides, etc. Why totally avoid it?

I fed my DS what we were eating. Sometimes it was mashed/puréed. Sometimes it was finger food. He mostly fed himself. I avoided pouches, because they mostly taste like crap.

He turned out to be a super eater, but I suspect super eaters are born, not made. I don't think most parents need an over priced book to tell them to feed their child a wide variety of tastes and textures and stop when their full. But Gill Rapley seems to have done very well out of it, so fair play to her.

DownWithThisSortaThing · 01/06/2017 11:45

It was my older relatives who suggested giving them something to hold instead so while BLW may be a new term I think the concept has been around for ages

Yes I agree - it now has just been given a name. My grandma was 89 when my son was born and encouraged me to carry on the way I was going as it was good for him to learn to feed himself, in her words, 'giving him some cooked veg to have a go with won't do him any harm'
Her children were born in the 50s so were in a sense 'traditionally weaned' I.e spoon fed to begin with, but she was a busy mother and housewife, and did not have time to faff around with blenders and pots of food. The baby in the family ate what they ate, spoon fed if necessary otherwise given as finger food.

I think the obsession with starting with baby rice, basically liquid purée and gradually working up to lumps and flavours is a fairly modern concept from the last few decades. There's nothing particularly bad about it but it's simply not necessary. My auntie was gobsmacked when she saw I was giving my baby food that wasn't bland tasteless and smooth. Babies can cope with tastes and textures from the beginning of weaning.

Cel82 · 03/05/2018 14:48

Completely new to mum's net and Genuinely just seeking advice/ thoughts. Totally stressed about weaning dd(just 6 months). She has several food allergies to boot. Egg, wheat, cows milk. Very recently diagnosed. I have started her weaning journey with purees. She loves them but is not keen on savoury flavours/texture. She will gag and then refuse anything that is remotely textured puree wise- will suck fruit wafer snack though😥Being advised to blw and against purees by hv and by dietician-all professionals that I respect...I didn't with ds(who is 9 years old so all advice has changed) and he is picky Eater and very skinny.... whether this had anything to do with his weaning method or is just him- goodness knows. I'm stressed because have offered her food (veg and pasta twirls....'free from'/ the odd snack). All of which were briefly put in her mouth then chucked on the floor followed by gagging if any remnant remained in her mouththat was then spat out. Similar with wafers/ rice cakes etc. She was then starving and wanted to be breast fed. She has no interest in the food as food.....so she has ingested nothing..... She was still hungry so I went back to my trusty puree and she was grabbing the spoon in hunger(at moment as so early in weaning only tried fruit/ veg or mixture of both with her) I don't want to disregard the advice given.... but I can't see how I can wean her if she never eats? I'm worried about her body weight and nutrition, the waste of food and money that just goes on the floor, also I feel the pressure of returning to work because if I'm blw and she is still just throwing food on the floor and relying on me breast feeding her i can't leave her..... not that I want to mind you!(I can't express enough milk to satisfy her for the day she won't take the hydrolysed formula as it tastes vile.)😕 but the family relies on my wage coming in. Bit of a winge really but just feel like I don't know where to start or wrong from right 😕😓

AssassinatedBeauty · 03/05/2018 16:43

Hi @Cel82. Ok, so I would offer food about an hour after a milk feed so that she isn't starving hungry when you offer food, but also not so full that she isn't interested at all. Then offer whatever food you want to give her and eat your meal, preferably the same/similar food, and leave her to it. Then clear away at the end of a reasonable meal time. Try and totally ignore what she eats or doesn't eat. Part of the point of BLW is to let the baby eat at their own pace. So to begin with their might be a fair amount of playing with food in their mouth, letting food fall out and also some gagging. After a while (different for every child) they will start to concentrate on actually eating the food.

In terms of nutrition, are you able to give a suitable multivitamin? And remember that at 6 months nearly all nutrition will be coming from breastmilk still. That will gradually shift until by about 12 months most of the nutrition is coming from food.

How old will she be when you go back to work? Will she be with a childminder/nursery or with a family member?

teaandbiscuitsforme · 03/05/2018 17:08

You need to BF about an hour to half an hour before so she's not hungry when you offer food. It will take a little while - she doesn't know that it's for eating. To her, it's just another experience so she is enjoying it. Best way is to make sure she's eating at family meals as much as possible so she's always watching eating a meal being modelled.

Mix purées and BLW for now if you want to. With my 2 I just offered them whatever we were eating so nothing made especially for them at such a young age.

Cel82 · 03/05/2018 20:03

Thank you guys for your advice and I've calmed down after my flap this afternoon😅I have followed your advice and checked in with hv (because of her allergies) and got her abidec vits. I think I will persevere with a bit of both as she does enjoy mouthing the fruit/ veg slices. I think I'm maybe expecting too much too soon from her. I was due to go back when she is 8 months...... but I think if there is any way we can stretch it as a family until she is one...... by which time all her testing for allergies will be sorted I will feel more comfortable with what I'm doing food wise with her and she will be that much less dependant on me..... also im never ever going to get this time back with either of them and dd is likely to be my last little one. I think it will be for the best for all the family if work allows it to go back later than planned🤞

Toasttea · 07/05/2018 23:09

Wow! Slightly judgemental don’t you think? Imagine if someone was posting about you......

arbrighton · 08/05/2018 13:26

@toasttea look at date on OP

It's been brought up by someone asking a related (ish) question

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