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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Do Not BLW!

264 replies

user1494494728 · 11/05/2017 10:29

Yesterday was the final straw, I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer, Baby Led Weaning has gone seriously, dangerously wrong (if it was ever even right to start with).

I attend a weekly mums group, of which I (as far as I’ve worked out) am the only one who is doing traditional weaning. Yesterday, I sat quietly and watched a 7 month old baby have a bacon sandwich for her lunch. A BACON FUCKING SANDWICH. After producing this nutritional feast for her toothless child the mother then looks around and asks where she needs to go to get baby vitamins. It took everything in me not to scream out ‘try the vegetable aisle in the supermarket you stupid bitch!’. I asked if this was the childs lunch or just a snack, to which the reply was, oh no it’s her lunch, she loves bacon and it’s so easy for her to hold’, well… so is a fucking shoelace but I wouldn’t give it to my baby for lunch. Meanwhile, another mother next to me opens a tub of humous and gives it to her 6 month old baby (yes, the whole pot) with a handful of toast. The other mothers chimed in and said how incredibly healthy the baby was because it was eating chickpeas, clearly they have no idea how much salt is in a slice of bread let alone a full sized tub of humous (some pots of humous are known to contain 4 entire crisp bags worth of salt). For dinner that night this same child would go on to sit at the table and gum at a piece of carrot and lump of chicken. Try and working out how much nutrition this child has had today?

In reality there’s only so much you can give a 6 month old baby who hasn’t got any teeth and has swallowed nothing but milk it’s entire life. Going from this to sticking a lump of celery of even chicken in it’s hand is bloody cruel. Naturally it’s going to want to play with it before it eats it, which is why all BLW mums say 99% of the food lands on the floor and very little in the childs actual mouth.

I recently found out that not only has virtually no research been done on BLW, but it was also invented by a Healthvisitor. We have been feeding babies on healthy, nutritious purees for thousands of years then a health vistor comes along with no research whatsoever and starts a fad. The only clear research done on BLW shows that it can be harmful to babies who are struggling to gain weight, doesn’t that tell you enough? (for the mum who’s thinking blenders haven’t been around that long remember that in third world countries today women are still chewing food up and feeding it to their babies, it’s naturally what we are supposed to do, BLW is NOT natural).

Then there is the choking hazard which I’m only going to step on lightly, the day you see your own child properly choke (and one day it will happen) will possibly be the worst day of your life. Why risk this earlier than need be? It’s ludicrous, what’s the rush and what’s the point other than putting your child at risk for a fad? One of the mothers at the group recently said ‘oh he’s only choked a few times’. Well for me that’s a few times too many. And no, a baby CAN NOT choke on puree, if you’re confused as to why look up the definition of choking.

Bread is easy, cheap and soft, it’s fast becoming the staple food of choice for BLW mumies and there’s no arguing that, I’ve watched it happen first hand. In those first years of life a babies cells are developing the fastest they will ever develop again, this is the time that as their mummy we need to step up and make sure we give our child everything they need, it not about giving the baby a choice it’s about giving them a chance and a healthy start. Yes if you want to give your child hand held snacks, great - do it all day AS SNACKS, but please get in your kitchens and make up some healthy, nutritious pureed or mashed foods and spoon feed every last little drop into their mouths, this time will go so fast and least then you can look back and say you gave them the best start you possibly could.

OP posts:
Fitzsimmons · 11/05/2017 12:23

Always amusing to see this argument crop up online. Most people I know do a mixture of purees and finger foods and just call it weaning.

merrygoround51 · 11/05/2017 12:24

Could not agree more.

BLW is utter nonsense invented by mothers who feel that their baby led lifestyles are far superior than the lots of love, healthy food and good routines that helps babies thrive (and sleep as they are well fed)

I despair of the exhausted mothers walking around with 14 month olds in slings, BLW and brealstfeeding who complain about their babies being up 5 times a night - of course they are, they are starving.

Ok - rant over.

And 2 breastfed, routined, traditionally fed 6 and 8 year old DD's here. Good eaters, good sleeps, healthy weight and happy!

professorvape · 11/05/2017 12:24

My youngest BLWeaned himself onto an Oreo, followed by Xmas dinner GrinYou've seen a couple of bad examples, is all. Do you think if they puréed stuff they would have made better food choices? There'll always be people who make different / worse choices. I did a combo of everything with my lot. Some meals would be mushy and spoon fed. I'd let them crack on with a sandwich or toast, banana or avocado, bowls of chopped cooked veg (picking up peas is actually a great way to practice fine motor skills too! Grin). But they also got spoon fed yoghurt and mushier foods like sweet potato mash, scrambled egg, puréed stuff or if I was on the go a jar. As others have said, it's not just a case of them hitting 6 months and handing them a full blown adult meal. And besides, had I stuck to the purée only route it wouldn't have made it any less BLW given the amount of food they stole off my plate or their siblings plates. It's just a case of being sensible. And just because it now has a special name - doesn't mean it hasn't been happening for generations! My DD's GGM, when she was alive, always gave a finger of toast or a peeled boiled pear or something for her DCs to gum on. Chill out ffs!

Alfieisnoisy · 11/05/2017 12:25

What a horribly unpleasant post from the OP.

Hope your baby doesn't learn your disgusting attitudes.

I used BLW with my DS when virtually nobody else was doing it...it was still very new. I was a health visitor (so sue me for thinking it was a great idea). It was a great idea and LOADS of research has looked at nutrition and feeding of babies and young children, just because you are too lazy to look it up doesn't mean it isn't there.

Grow up and accept these people have different ideas to you.

Nothing wrong with being shocked at the salt content and wondering why the people you know think these are good foods. However your comments are appalling and you should be ashamed of yourself for such an attitude.

Ecureuil · 11/05/2017 12:26

merrygoround51 bit of a generalisation there...
I BF and did BLW. Didn't use a sling, own room from 6 months, no co sleeping, good routine from fairly early on.

TortoiseBeep · 11/05/2017 12:28

Not that you'd ever feel superior, eh Grin

Alfieisnoisy · 11/05/2017 12:28

FWIW my son was not weaned into bacon sandwiches and shite food. He did however like potato, carrot and helping himself to my plate at times. It's what I thank for his wide diet now...virtually no vegetable he will not eat...and he is 14 now.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 11/05/2017 12:30

merry What on earth is the problem with a 14 month old in a sling??

Ridiculous post OP. No bacon isn't a great food for under 1s and shop bought hummus hasn't got the lowest salt content but obesity is all BLW's fault?? I'd rather BLW then spoon jars and pouches of crap into my child - personal preference!!

AtlantaGinandTonic · 11/05/2017 12:34

I must be the world's worst mum then! DD1 was weaned on puréed food and then gradually moved off it. What I'm presuming OP would do. She used to love pouches of all sorts. DD2... LOL. Just LOL. I gave up trying to feed her purée on a spoon one morning, having had weeks of her reaching in her mouth to dig it out and throw it on the floor and so I gave her a slice of toast. It was like I'd given her manna from heaven. She's been given finger food since then. She eats anything that will fit in her mouth and has done since before she had teeth. We're just careful about the size of what we give her, so she doesn't choke.

Alfieisnoisy · 11/05/2017 12:34

I carried DS in a sling because he had many problems as a baby...turns out he is autistic. My instincts told me he felt secure with me rather than without me. My instincts were rights,

I binned the GF book within days as DS just couldn't cope. That was baby led and needed so the likes of merry can sod right off with their stupid comments.

Oh and despite BLW he is a normal healthy weight but don't let that get in the way of your self righteous anger eh.

peaceloveandbiscuits · 11/05/2017 12:37

Has no one mentioned that the obesity crisis is the whole reason for BLW being so hot at the moment? Spoon feeding "every last drop" into your baby isn't teaching them to regulate their appetite, it's teaching them that we're only finished when our plates are clean.

This is a disordered thought process that a lot of us grew up with, whether through guilt at seeing famine-ravaged children on television, or because our parents worked hard for the food they put on the table, or a myriad of other reasons. But personally, and anecdotally I see this in a lot of my peers, all it's done is mask when we're full up and ready to stop eating.

Allowing babies and children to explore food and regulate their own appetite and hunger reduces this, as does not threatening "no pudding" if dinner isn't all eaten up.

53rdWay · 11/05/2017 12:40

What on earth is the problem with a 14 month old in a sling??

14-month-olds should be in buggies as nature intended. None of this new-fangled sling stuff. If a Quinny Zapp was good enough for the Romans, it's good enough for us!

Ecureuil · 11/05/2017 12:44

14-month-olds should be in buggies as nature intended. None of this new-fangled sling stuff. If a Quinny Zapp was good enough for the Romans, it's good enough for us!

Grin
ColdTeaandHalfaBiscuit · 11/05/2017 12:45

Geez, what's with the labels?!
Just feed your baby/toddler. Be sensible. Don't give them crap. Purées, mush, softened carrots sticks and humous. Whatever is normal for your family/culture.

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 11/05/2017 12:54

merrygoround51 Thu 11-May-17 12:24:20
Could not agree more.

BLW is utter nonsense invented by mothers who feel that their baby led lifestyles are far superior than the lots of love, healthy food and good routines that helps babies thrive (and sleep as they are well fed)

I despair of the exhausted mothers walking around with 14 month olds in slings, BLW and brealstfeeding who complain about their babies being up 5 times a night - of course they are, they are starving.

Ok - rant over.

And 2 breastfed, routined, traditionally fed 6 and 8 year old DD's here. Good eaters, good sleeps, healthy weight and happy!

Yeah, and I have 2 breastfed, not really routined, BLW 7 and 9 year old. Good eaters, good sleepers (and they always were), healthy weight and happy.

Oh and I also used slings, my children were never up 5 times a night as they were starving.

You clearly think your way is superior, by listing your parental "achievements" as if that can only be achieved doing it YOUR way, while sneering at the supposed superior parents who do it a different way,

So, what is the point? That we all do what is best for us and our children and leave others to do the same?

wineusuallyhelps · 11/05/2017 12:54

Haven't RTFT but just thought I'd share this in case anyone is remotely interested! I fed my kids in 3 different ways...

DS1 I weaned at 6 months in full-on Annabel Karmel style, it was purée city, frozen in cubes etc etc. He is now 12yo and loves food, tends to eat a lot (maybe more than he needs) but he's not overweight as yet.

DS2 was BLW at 6 months. He is 10yo and still has to be told off occasionally for putting his hands in his food when there is cutlery right there Hmm...mmm interesting, I think! But he does stop eating when he's full, unlike DS1. So better at self-regulation which does go along with BLW theories.

DS3 refused all food till 8 months old and went straight into mashed-up whatever we were having that day. He is 8yo now and still doesn't eat very much compared to the others. Is pencil-thin!

StinkyMcgrinky · 11/05/2017 12:56

BLW is utter nonsense invented by mothers who feel that their baby led lifestyles are far superior than the lots of love, healthy food and good routines that helps babies thrive (and sleep as they are well fed)

Maybe a bit of an unfair generalisation there? Ive used BLW with both my children, I don't feel superior to anyone. They have healthy food, are happy and have good routine.

Why assume you know how someone parents their child based on how they feed them? No-one is insulting people who choose to puree feed but parents who get on with BLW are some sort of 'others' who are to be mocked and are ridiculed?

Bashing BLW because you've seen a couple of parents making bad decisions is like assuming everyone with a 5 year old feeds them McDonalds and coke because you've seen one person do it. Hmm

PickAChew · 11/05/2017 12:58

Do not SHOUT!

Because it makes you look like the "stupid bitch", useraloadofnumbers

lilydaisyrose · 11/05/2017 12:59

I'd absolutely love to know (from the judgypants OP) what milk she fed her babies and how old her baby was when they started weaning, specifically looking at which research she used to back up her choices?

StorminaBcup · 11/05/2017 13:13

I'm so glad I logged into mumsnet today. PFB OP?

FatLittleWombat · 11/05/2017 13:13

In my opinion blw is a fad. I find parents who follow strict blw and faint at the idea of giving their pfb DC yogurt on a spoon really annoying. They say they want their child to have a relaxed attitude towards food, but are so nervous about what their kid is eating they won't let a spoon go near them. Contradiction in terms.
I also don't agree that food before 1 is just for fun. Erm, no. A 10 month old needs three decent meals a day.
That said, I don't see why you need to get so angry about it. Loads of children are fed rubbish unfortunately. The level of anger in your op was ridiculous.

AtlantaGinandTonic · 11/05/2017 13:14

53rdWay Grin

bloodymaria · 11/05/2017 13:14

OP just calm the fuck down and focus on feeding your own baby. How have you got yourself so worked up about this? If you can channel your energy in a positive way and somehow get into nutritional education then fine, but you're going to give yourself a hernia if you carry on like this.

TessTube · 11/05/2017 13:14

I think the truth of the matter is that it's just a matter of personal preference.

Each to their own, innit!

NeoTrad · 11/05/2017 13:17

I agree, OP. BLW is a load of codswallop. Babies need to be introduced to vegetables, one by one, in puréed form, from 4 months, along with breastmilk.