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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Do Not BLW!

264 replies

user1494494728 · 11/05/2017 10:29

Yesterday was the final straw, I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer, Baby Led Weaning has gone seriously, dangerously wrong (if it was ever even right to start with).

I attend a weekly mums group, of which I (as far as I’ve worked out) am the only one who is doing traditional weaning. Yesterday, I sat quietly and watched a 7 month old baby have a bacon sandwich for her lunch. A BACON FUCKING SANDWICH. After producing this nutritional feast for her toothless child the mother then looks around and asks where she needs to go to get baby vitamins. It took everything in me not to scream out ‘try the vegetable aisle in the supermarket you stupid bitch!’. I asked if this was the childs lunch or just a snack, to which the reply was, oh no it’s her lunch, she loves bacon and it’s so easy for her to hold’, well… so is a fucking shoelace but I wouldn’t give it to my baby for lunch. Meanwhile, another mother next to me opens a tub of humous and gives it to her 6 month old baby (yes, the whole pot) with a handful of toast. The other mothers chimed in and said how incredibly healthy the baby was because it was eating chickpeas, clearly they have no idea how much salt is in a slice of bread let alone a full sized tub of humous (some pots of humous are known to contain 4 entire crisp bags worth of salt). For dinner that night this same child would go on to sit at the table and gum at a piece of carrot and lump of chicken. Try and working out how much nutrition this child has had today?

In reality there’s only so much you can give a 6 month old baby who hasn’t got any teeth and has swallowed nothing but milk it’s entire life. Going from this to sticking a lump of celery of even chicken in it’s hand is bloody cruel. Naturally it’s going to want to play with it before it eats it, which is why all BLW mums say 99% of the food lands on the floor and very little in the childs actual mouth.

I recently found out that not only has virtually no research been done on BLW, but it was also invented by a Healthvisitor. We have been feeding babies on healthy, nutritious purees for thousands of years then a health vistor comes along with no research whatsoever and starts a fad. The only clear research done on BLW shows that it can be harmful to babies who are struggling to gain weight, doesn’t that tell you enough? (for the mum who’s thinking blenders haven’t been around that long remember that in third world countries today women are still chewing food up and feeding it to their babies, it’s naturally what we are supposed to do, BLW is NOT natural).

Then there is the choking hazard which I’m only going to step on lightly, the day you see your own child properly choke (and one day it will happen) will possibly be the worst day of your life. Why risk this earlier than need be? It’s ludicrous, what’s the rush and what’s the point other than putting your child at risk for a fad? One of the mothers at the group recently said ‘oh he’s only choked a few times’. Well for me that’s a few times too many. And no, a baby CAN NOT choke on puree, if you’re confused as to why look up the definition of choking.

Bread is easy, cheap and soft, it’s fast becoming the staple food of choice for BLW mumies and there’s no arguing that, I’ve watched it happen first hand. In those first years of life a babies cells are developing the fastest they will ever develop again, this is the time that as their mummy we need to step up and make sure we give our child everything they need, it not about giving the baby a choice it’s about giving them a chance and a healthy start. Yes if you want to give your child hand held snacks, great - do it all day AS SNACKS, but please get in your kitchens and make up some healthy, nutritious pureed or mashed foods and spoon feed every last little drop into their mouths, this time will go so fast and least then you can look back and say you gave them the best start you possibly could.

OP posts:
rogueantimatter · 11/05/2017 19:30

Before blenders parents mashed or chewed food.

rogermelliemanontelly · 11/05/2017 19:31

everything in that post is baloney

I puree the baloney or the baby just stabs the cat in the eye with it.

Ecureuil · 11/05/2017 19:33

Because BLW kids turn out to be fussy eaters, are nearly always hungry and grouchy, constantly want to snack, and consume endless milk

Mine are none of those things. They're happy, a healthy weight, non fussy and both have a cup of milk before bed.

Sparrowlegs248 · 11/05/2017 19:38

My blw baby eats most things. Doesn't like chips, breaded stuff, or cake. Loves fruit, cooked veg, traditional meals. Stopped breast feeding during the day at around 10 months, and stopped bf at all of his own accord by 19 months. He has cows milk with breakfast and at bedtime. He's 22 months old and eats his meals with a fork and spoon and yes does get it on himself at times.

I will be weaning exactly the same way when Dc2 is old enough.

One big perk of blw is that you can eat at the same time as the baby. Not having to spoon in while trying to eat your own meal.

phoenixtherabbit · 11/05/2017 19:40
Hmm

There is a difference between choking and gagging and most people will say choking when actually they mean gagging. My ds has properly choked (blue in the face and not breathing) once and it was fucking terrifying.

A lot of babies gag - that can happen with any food whether it's puréed or not.

Oh and you can choke on purée. A small girl who lives near me choked on mash potato at her nursery. Thankfully she was ok. You can choke on anything if it gets stuck, obviously some things are more risky than others, like grapes for example. But there are ways around this, like cutting them lengthways.

You saw one baby eating a bacon sandwich, which yes maybe not ideal but you have no idea what else the baby ate that day or every other day. It could have had a proper balanced diet. You cannot judge on one bacon sandwich. I don't even personally see what's wrong with a bit of hummus.

Get off your high horse.

LittleBearPad · 11/05/2017 19:44

OP fess up is your name Annabel...

You're a loon and a nasty one at that.

TooFew · 11/05/2017 19:49

Why does everyone always give such a great amount of shit about how other people feed their kids?! They all end up eatting the same way eventually...so how they get there is irrelevant. It's just an excuse to justify your own choices and methods and how your way was right...blah blah blah!

HomityBabbityPie · 11/05/2017 19:50

Purees, BLW, pouches, straight out of, off a spoon or eaten out of a fucking nosebag - there really isn't a single aspect of having children that we can't give each other a good kicking over, is there.

This. Just because OP was nasty doesn't mean we have to be nasty in the opposite direction.

Ratatatouille · 11/05/2017 19:58

Itsjustaphase that is the biggest load of shite crammed into one short post I think I've ever seen on here. Completely false, unsubstantiated nonsense.

Sylvannas · 11/05/2017 19:59

I use a mixture of purees and finger food.

But I'll have to think twice about the finger food now some random on the Internet doesn't like it.

How about this for a wacky idea, allow other mothers to wean as they see fit and you do the same.

Women tend to give other women such a hard time for so many different things. Don't make this a thing too.
Biscuit

Deploycharitygoats · 12/05/2017 03:30

Haven't RTFT, but snorting at calm down, you angry little loon Grin

SolomanDaisy · 12/05/2017 07:40

Itsjustaphase, I'm sure you know your post is just provocative nonsense, but just in case. My DD was premature and sees a paediatrician regularly. She recommends BLW. I think drs overseeing the care of the most vulnerable babies probably know more than you. (DD is not PFB, though I did BLW with him too.)

Camomila · 13/05/2017 18:02

Nah, I'm perfectly happy having BLW.

DS (13months) is a brilliant eater, will try anything and can handle pretty much any texture. He stuffed himself with vegetable stir fry today.

FWIW the only 2 times he's gagged and I've worried (as opposed to gagged and spat back out happily) it's been on mashed potato and banana...both traditional baby foods.

It's perfectly possible to BLW 'sensibly' I started off with soft cook veg sticks and rip fruit, then a bit of toast and pasta, and worked my way up to things like meat, and things like grapes and sausages got chopped lengthways and apples and raw carrots grated with the wide setting on the cheese grater...Now I even let him have bits of daddy's bacon sandwich Grin

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 13/05/2017 18:08

I have never felt the need to label it tbh. I just have dd whatever we were having and continued to breastfeed her. It is not a "thing".

riddles26 · 15/05/2017 09:55

Why does everyone have to be so nasty and judgemental with every aspect of raising children?! Is it so difficult to accept that fact that what worked brilliantly for your children and has seen them grow into well-rounded individuals will not work for every single baby and another mother doing it differently will likely have the same result in a few years time?!

BLW has been around for generations without the label. When I mentioned to my mum its what I was considering with my daughter, she initially dismissed it as some new 'fad' I wanted to follow. After talking a bit more, she realised it is actually what she did with my sister who refused to eat via the traditional weaning route 30 years ago - it just didn't have the name at the time! Now I have faced the realities of weaning, I have come to realise a combination of mashed and finger food is what is working best for my daughter so not fully baby-led but I am still encouraging her to explore and feed herself. That works for us - it may not work for all. If I have more children, I will probably have a slightly different approach for them as I will also have a toddler in the house if and when the time comes.

It is upto us as parents to educate ourselves on current guidance in terms of what food babies should and shouldn't be having. There are lots of things that are commercially available and still not ideal for babies so those who go down the traditional puree route aren't necessarily having things correctly as per guidance either. Doesn't mean you can label all puree parents as irresponsible!

As for the ridiculous comments about sling wearing and routines - get off your high horse and accept that what worked well for you as a parent will not work for all. I had lovely dreams of being a 'take things as they come' parent who was flexible and didn't have a routine but have since come to realise my daughter needs a more rigid routine and is a much happier baby since we introduced it. I have many friends who's children are thriving with flexible parenting - I am not about to preach to them to do things my way as it is clearly working well for them.

FartnissEverbeans · 30/05/2017 19:01

I don't like the tone of the OP at all BUT I think she has a point that deserves to be discussed.

BLW is a fad. It's a silly name made up to describe something that people have always done when babies are developmentally ready. However, these days it's taken to an extreme - and I do consider it quite extreme to give, for example, raw carrot sticks to a six month old. I can't see that as anything other than irresponsible.

On another thread I've related my experience of giving my son a banana, cut in a specific way so that it would be easy to eat (Hmm) according to BLWers. He gagged, or choked - whatever term you use it was fucking horrible, he couldn't breathe, he vomited up his meal, I was terrified. I do not want that repeated and cannot fathom how it could possibly be beneficial to have this as a regular occurrence. It was distressing for both of us and I can't see how that's conducive to a healthy relationship with food.

Also, I want my son to actually eat the food that I give him and not just piss around and chuck it on the floor.

A lot of people I've come across recently are saying they're doing 'a mix of spoon feeding and BLW'. Right, well, that's not BLW. That's just weaning. Stop trying to use finger food as some kind of badge of honor to show the world how progressive you are. It becomes a case of one-upmanship at times - "my baby eats steak" "well I let my baby drink prosecco" "I gave my baby a coconut and a machete and just let him go to town on it, he needs to learn not to choke or chop off his own arm"...

I'm new to motherhood and I find all this competitive feeding a bit fucking weird.

AssassinatedBeauty · 30/05/2017 19:37

My experience of BLW is not the same as what you have described. If it's a "fad" then I'm a sucker for it as I've done it with both my children. You're feeding into the whole competitiveness and weirdness by calling it distressing, not beneficial, not conducive to a healthy relationship with food, pissing about with food, just chucking it on the floor etc.

None of those things are true for me. Both my children eat well, have never choked, it's been really beneficial and a great experience that I've enjoyed.

Anybody doing anything in an extreme competitive way is an idiot. BLW, spoonfeeding whatever.

FartnissEverbeans · 30/05/2017 19:49

You're feeding into the whole competitiveness and weirdness by calling it distressing, not beneficial, not conducive to a healthy relationship with food, pissing about with food, just chucking it on the floor etc.

That's a good point actually, maybe I am!

I suppose you did it in a way that was appropriate for your babies, and if it worked then more power to you. But I still think that a lot of the 'advice' that's available about BLW seems irresponsible and potentially dangerous.

AssassinatedBeauty · 30/05/2017 19:51

What advice is irresponsible and potentially dangerous?

F1ipFlopFrus · 30/05/2017 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

riddles26 · 31/05/2017 08:42

A lot of people I've come across recently are saying they're doing 'a mix of spoon feeding and BLW'. Right, well, that's not BLW
Who has set the rules? And what is the consequence of not following what someone has described as true BLW? Do you miss out on a badge? Or joining a special club? Or worse, does the child's development suffer??! This is what I despise about BLW groups - you do what is best for your baby and follow their signs.

I've read the Gill Rapley book more than once and it does not set rigid rules on what falls into BLW and not. Instead, it discusses benefits of allowing baby to choose what they eat and gives guidance on safely introducing finger food to babies

I do what you call as 'not BLW' because it makes sense to feed yoghurt etc from a spoon before she has the coordination to have it herself. Most of her meals consist of finger food though, and it's generally what we are eating. I've also fed her some finger food by hand when she struggled with hand mouth coordination and was getting frustrated it wouldn't go in her mouth.

I don't understand why people are getting so fixated on rules Hmm

likeababyelephant · 31/05/2017 08:47

I recently found out that not only has virtually no research been done on BLW, but it was also invented by a Healthvisitor

Got a source for that?.

Ps. You sound deeply unpleasant.

DeathMetalMum · 31/05/2017 09:11

I haven't RTFT but, I did 'BLW' imo it's just another useless label for different parenting strategies. I pretty much weaned my dc the same way my mother weaned me.

I wasn't hard core 'blw' I did cut some food up and I spoon fed yogurt myself as I didn't fancy cleaning it off the walls, but never made a puree.

Also if you even bothered to look at anything that promotes blw, you'd know that nowhere does it suggest that a bacon sandwich is an ideal meal for a baby, or a whole pot of humous. There's actually a lot of information on portion sizes. Also the mantra is - food is for fun up until one, so it doesn't really matter weather the child is receiving and nutritional benefits or not as milk is the main source of nutrients until around one anyway.

FartnissEverbeans · 31/05/2017 18:02

Who has set the rules? And what is the consequence of not following what someone has described as true BLW? Do you miss out on a badge? Or joining a special club? Or worse, does the child's development suffer??! This is what I despise about BLW groups - you do what is best for your baby and follow their signs.

That's exactly what I'm saying - if you do spoon feeding and finger foods, that's just weaning! Why call it BLW? No reason other than that term has some sort social cache that spoonfeeding doesn't. In my experience many BLWers seem to consider the method (and therefore their own parenting in many cases) to be somehow more virtuous than spoonfeeding/finger foods.

I think the term BLW itself is partly responsible. Everybody wants to be 'child-centred', nobody wants to be seen as controlling, or to be putting their own needs (e.g. for speed/efficiency) first. The term 'baby led' suggests that other approaches are 'parent led', which therefore isn't 'child centred', and that's a Bad Thing. It's like the term 'pro-life' - it frames the opposition as 'anti-life' even though that's clearly nonsense.

FartnissEverbeans · 31/05/2017 18:42

What advice is irresponsible and potentially dangerous?

The advice to just go ahead and give hard, raw foods to young babies, for example. I don't think there have been any proper studies done into this (the only one I've seen involved soft finger foods) so we have to use common sense and I think it's common sense to avoid such foods until the baby is older.

I mean, just look at some of the stuff on this thread - babies need to 'learn to choke'? Gagging is good? And I think the number of posts on this board relating to BLW which recommend paediatric first aid courses is telling.

I'm not criticizing your parenting, I'm sure your children are beautiful and healthy. But I do think the claims of BLW are irresponsible, though the principle of babies joining in family dinners, enjoying appropriate finger foods and eating a wide variety are sound.