Vegan wedding causing issues

[WeddingProblem]

We are getting married in a few months. Registry office then a meal in a restaurant for 40 guests. I’m vegan. My partner and kids are happy to eat vegan for our wedding (they’re a mix of vegan, vegetarian and meat eater) so we have booked a vegan restaurant.

A couple of relatives have told another relative that they’re not happy with the restaurant choice being vegan and might not come to our wedding because of it. The relative asked what the issue is, whether they had any allergies/intolerances, but no, it’s purely because they don’t want to eat a vegan meal.

We haven’t addressed it with them and I’m not sure how to. I’ll definitely wait for them to bring it up. I’m hoping they won’t, but if they do, how would you deal with it? My partner, relative that told me and friends all say to just say it’s a shame if you can’t come but we understand. One person thinks we should change restaurant 😬 but I don’t feel we should have to do that for our wedding and it’s just one meal.

What would you do? Of the people attending, roughly half are vegan or vegetarian and we’ve had lots of positive comments about the restaurant we’ve picked even from some of the meat eaters.

Is there a choice or set menu?

I'm a bit torn on this. I mean, I would go, and I would eat the meal without complaint, BUT.....I have never eaten a Vegan meal that didn't taste of cardboard.

Also, how would you feel Op, if you went to a wedding and the only options were chicken and beef?

You can't expect to always be accommodated as a Vegan, but refuse to accommodate meat eaters. Why is a meat eater of less importance than a Vegan? Why are their preferences of no value? It's a double standard of epic proportions.

But when you go to any wedding you are usually offered a set meal or a choice of maybe three things. Every restaurant has a menu for you to choose from, not an unlimited choice. If you honestly cannot find anything you can eat in a vegan restaurant you have a very restricted diet.

Last time I looked you can't catch anything from eating a vegan meal. How rude and ignorant of them. They may even get their eyes opened to some new food choices if they open their minds. If you were insisting on vegan food for a month I might have an issue but your day so you say!

Lots of nice "regular" restaurants have quite dull vegan and vegetarian options. I say this as a meat eater.

Have a fabulous wedding!

So your husband and his parents don’t eat potatoes, bread, salad, pizza or nachos? Wow, what do they eat?

I'm afraid I would go with contacting the people who are moaning and saying sorry to hear you won't be coming to our wedding. We've confirmed numbers now. What kind of pathetic individual can't eat 1 vegan meal?

Threaten?
Who’s being threatened?
It’s not rude to point out you don’t like what’s being provided and therefore won’t be coming …
I think sometimes the people getting married forget that’s it’s an optional event and people can choose to not go for any reason… including the food…

You'd eat before going/take a vegan packed lunch/skip the food bit.

You absolutely can, as it goes. If you think all vegan food tastes of cardboard, you need to eat in some better places. And no, I'm not a vegan.

You can't expect to always be accommodated as a Vegan, but refuse to accommodate meat eaters.

Meat eaters are accommodated. Allergies aside, there’s no reason why they can’t eat vegan food. Humans aren’t carnivores.

It is rude, but sometimes the trash takes itself out!

If they don't like the restaurant when they will have to go out with you at a later date. As you say it's one meal and surely they can eat something.
I went to a family wedding once about 80 peeps., about 8 of us were veggie and I was vegan. The bride and groom have always known this.
There was a buffet but there nothing for our group at all, not even a vegan 'sausage' roll! Everything had meat or fish in it so we couldn't eat anything. A meat eater can eat veggie or vegan so why are they moaning?
We had to ask for the kitchen to provide some sandwiches.
The bridezella spent most of the reception in tears, not many people were dancing, it was some random band she knew playing random indie music. The groom was a bit sloshed, the paid for bar ran dry within the hour and another relative had a drama in the ladies, every other female rushed into help. God knows what that was about. The kids stole the show during the first dance and several main people left before the cutting on the cake which her mil took on board to cut.
It last a year before he cheated on her....

Silly fuckers. Don't give it a single further thought. How many events have you been to where the vegan option is either dire or non-existent? Do you make a big song and dance about how you won't cope? Of course you don't. This is the day to have what you want. Anyone making it about their own stomachs can eat a ham sandwich in their car or stay away, but either way, they can stop being a gobshite.

It's your wedding. Do what you want. No one is holding them at gun point to attend.

I simply can’t imagine going to someone’s wedding just for the food. It is of the least importance to me, and more about the social chat round the table.

don’t change your restaurant, if someone only comes for tn4 food and won’t come if the food isn’t to their liking, then you don’t want them there, it is not a free scran opportunity.

I’m puzzled by the “vegan food tastes of cardboard” comment as well. Surely that poster must have had a strawberry, or an orange, or a tomato that doesn’t taste of cardboard at some point?

(Also not a vegan but puzzled why some people have so much of an issue with this)

Don't change your restaurant. Im a meat eater, its one meal.

It’s your day, enjoy the meal you want.
I’m not a vegan, but will choose the vegan option on a menu sometimes because it looks interesting and I’ve never been disappointed.
Maybe some people haven’t eaten vegan food before, they can choose to celebrate with you and enjoy trying the food, or opt out. Their choice.

Like other posters (and as a confirmed meat eater) I'm confused about people on here who absolutely can't eat vegan food. It's an odd thing to say.

And I agree, vegan dishes dont taste like cardboard. They're actually usually delicious

Another non-vegan here whose mind is blown by people claiming all vegan food tastes of cardboard. If you are ever in London treat yourself to lunch at Mildred’s

Genuine question, not trying to be nasty, if you don’t really eat any vegetables, what do you eat ?

Who goes to a wedding for the meal?
Tell them shame on you and invite some people who view the primary purpose of the day is to celebrate your union.

Some people, myself included, experience violent repulsion at certain ingredients commonly found in vegan foods. For instance, vegetable oil spreads or desserts make me instantly throw up.
Many people are allergic to nuts and don't tolerate spice, omnipresent in vegan menus.

There is also increasing evidence to suggest that following a vegan diet is genetics based, and some people need meats to synthesize certain lipids and if they don't get meat they feel absolutely starving. Like my dh and his family.

All that said, none of these are remotely good reasons to not go to a vegan wedding. Handbags with capacity for biscuit packets or even ham sandwiches are available.

Will the vegan bride in this case be happy if the guests bring their ham sandwiches/sausage rolls and pork pies I'm the same manner. If so perhaps she can suggest this.

There was recently a person asking were they in the wrong for ordering pizza to a wedding where there was no food for the evening and they were an evening guest and lots of people said they were even though they went out to their car to eat it.