Vegan wedding causing issues

[WeddingProblem]

We are getting married in a few months. Registry office then a meal in a restaurant for 40 guests. I’m vegan. My partner and kids are happy to eat vegan for our wedding (they’re a mix of vegan, vegetarian and meat eater) so we have booked a vegan restaurant.

A couple of relatives have told another relative that they’re not happy with the restaurant choice being vegan and might not come to our wedding because of it. The relative asked what the issue is, whether they had any allergies/intolerances, but no, it’s purely because they don’t want to eat a vegan meal.

We haven’t addressed it with them and I’m not sure how to. I’ll definitely wait for them to bring it up. I’m hoping they won’t, but if they do, how would you deal with it? My partner, relative that told me and friends all say to just say it’s a shame if you can’t come but we understand. One person thinks we should change restaurant 😬 but I don’t feel we should have to do that for our wedding and it’s just one meal.

What would you do? Of the people attending, roughly half are vegan or vegetarian and we’ve had lots of positive comments about the restaurant we’ve picked even from some of the meat eaters.

Yum... Crusty bear! 🐻

It seems some people go to weddings just for the food ???
That's all a bit desperate

I go to friends and relatives weddings because I care about them and want to join in their happiness.

I’m vegan and would do what you have done, it’s your day and vegan food is suitable for everyone so all can eat without you having to provide food that contradicts your principles.

Maybe read my comment again.

That's fair enough. Mushrooms crop up often in vegan and vegetarian dishes. If for health reasons you can't eat certain foods then no-one would judge you.

DD has developed IBD and now can't eat a lot of the vegetables that she used to enjoy. She would struggle for protein if she was vegan.

@ThatBlackCat eating meat doesn’t seem to do much for your ability to emotionally regulate. You sound tapped to be honest.

It’s a shame the thought of vegan food doesn’t give meat eaters’s bowels the same workout it gives their fragile emotions.
It would do wonders for the explosion of rates of colon cancer in the 50 and under bracket, from the lack of fibre and over consumption of hormone & nitrate packed meats.

Wow
I just checked the stats on colon cancer, as you mentioned it, and they are really very shocking !

You are so ignorant. If I ate mushrooms I would die. No I don't like salad, olives, cous cous, sun-dried tomatoes or any of the other stuff you mentioned except dry bread.

I would go to wedding but not any reception if it was set menu and I didn't like the food. There would be no point attending a meal if I didn't like anything to eat except dry bread. I'm very allergic to mushrooms and vegans seem to stuff them into everything in my experience. I don't like salad, cous cous, rice, any vegetables except for cooked carrots and garden peas. I avoid pasta and carbs and I don't like sweets desserts so rather than draw attention to the lack of food on my plate, which I hate people discussing and trying to get me to eat food I don't like, which has happened a lot when I've been out in large groups with a fixed menu, I'd prefer to slip away after the wedding.

It’s your wedding. Theyre being absolutely pathetic.

Surely they can just put
their dietary requirements? Surely there is
at least one vegetable they can eat!

You are so ignorant. If I ate mushrooms I would die. No I don't like salad, olives, cous cous, sun-dried tomatoes or any of the other stuff you mentioned except dry bread.
Good job you are not invited to this wedding then!

My argument is that deliberately choosing a place that doesn't serve meat or dairy is a spiteful (imo) choice and inflicts someone's ideology on their guests. If you don't want to eat meat or dairy, don't. But at least, at the very, very least, give your guests a choice.

So when my Muslim colleagues invite us to their weddings shall I expect them to provide pork, jelly and desserts made with gelatin. I like to have a few glasses of wine at weddings , shall i ask for a bottle to be put on my table even though my colleagues are anti alcohol and wont come on a works night out if its in a pub. Shall I demand that some of the meat shouldn't be halal because other wise they are just inflicting their ideology on me.
I dont if course do that. I go to the wedding and enjoy myself and pleased that they have been kind enough to include me.

If I dont like what's been offered, thats too bad for me but I havent gone for a meal. Actually a few, not all of the weddings have been vegan thinking about it. I cant remember what I had though.

Goodness! What a shirty response.

The fact that you are allergic to mushrooms is fair enough.

The fact that you are a fussy eater is on you, and it's a good job you aren't invited to the wedding

I have said several times I would go to the wedding just not food reception if there was nothing I liked to eat. I accept I am a fussy eater. I absolutely hate it when others look at my plate and see hardly any food and try to get me to eat stuff I don't like. I'd rather not go and have my fussy eating flagged up.

I would think it depends on how good the food is. I'm an omnivore but I would happily eat a vegan meal if its delicious. Sadly, my general experience was not great - usually they are bland and tasteless. But I had a few gorgeous vegan meals, and I know it can be done. So if you are very confident in the quality of the restaurant I would not worry and state this will be a n interesting an fulfilling experience.
If some relatives are very reluctant, maybe invite them round to the restaurant to have a taste, so they have an idea of what to expect.

OP posted here on the vegan board to see how other vegans would deal with this. Others can respond but I’m sure OP doesn’t need a load of people telling her their detailed dietary requirements that are completely fucking irrelevant. You aren’t invited! Even some people that are saying they would attend are getting their dislike across subtly. They sound ridiculous.

Do people never have any crappy meals at home or even miss a meal? Ever??? How ridiculous would it be to not attend a wedding in a restaurant that is being paid for, simply because you might not like the food?

Some people on here are bonkers. Eating meat doesn't mean you absolutely must eat meat for every single meal. I eat meat but will quite happily go with a veggie or vegan option if it's the dish that takes my fancy on a mixed menu. Of course OP and her new husband should have the tastiest vegan food on offer for their own wedding reception!

OP, I'm glad your aunt has seen sense. If your uncle is going to die if he doesn't get his meat, no doubt he'll find himself a ham sandwich somewhere.

It’s all just food at the end of the day. They might even like it.
I think people get confused what vegetarian / vegan food is…

Do you really think the OP isn’t confident that the restaurant will make good food?

Indeed.

😆

100% this. ^

I went to a wedding in France in the 80s as a vegetarian and they thought it meant I ate fish
A seven course meal and all I could eat was
the sorbet course
and the coffee
They served me 5 courses containing fish !

It was certainly a talking point