Vegan wedding causing issues

[WeddingProblem]

We are getting married in a few months. Registry office then a meal in a restaurant for 40 guests. I’m vegan. My partner and kids are happy to eat vegan for our wedding (they’re a mix of vegan, vegetarian and meat eater) so we have booked a vegan restaurant.

A couple of relatives have told another relative that they’re not happy with the restaurant choice being vegan and might not come to our wedding because of it. The relative asked what the issue is, whether they had any allergies/intolerances, but no, it’s purely because they don’t want to eat a vegan meal.

We haven’t addressed it with them and I’m not sure how to. I’ll definitely wait for them to bring it up. I’m hoping they won’t, but if they do, how would you deal with it? My partner, relative that told me and friends all say to just say it’s a shame if you can’t come but we understand. One person thinks we should change restaurant 😬 but I don’t feel we should have to do that for our wedding and it’s just one meal.

What would you do? Of the people attending, roughly half are vegan or vegetarian and we’ve had lots of positive comments about the restaurant we’ve picked even from some of the meat eaters.

Lol.

@Snakebite61

It's a one off. If they cared about you, it wouldn't bother them. They probably vote reform.

@bigboykitty

I expect there is a high proportion of flag-shaggers in the 'I would not be going to your wedding if there was no meat' contingency. Totally self-absorbed behaviour.

I am on the OP's side (as I said further back in the thread.) I am a pescatarian, and I have been to 'vegan food only' weddings before, and the food has been delicious...

But why on earth are (a few) people on here, assuming everyone who eats meat, and turns their nose up at a vegan meal at a wedding, are all 'flag-shaggers' and that they vote Reform?

My DH and my brother are both meat eaters, and they would never vote Reform, nor are they 'flag-shaggers!'

Batshit comments.

I take it back. Clearly even Fuzzy Felt is too intellectually complex for some.

This - whilst at the other end of the scale/the other side of the argument - is equally as batshit as the 'everyone who eats meat and moans about vegan food at a wedding is a Reform voting flag-shagger' comments.

Seriously @ThatBlackCat people who eat meat and dairy can eat anything... Red meat, white meat, fish, game, anything - including VEGAN FOOD.

VEGANS cannot eat anything except vegan food, And they do not want it anywhere near them. Expecting vegans to rustle up roast beef for you, because you're too precious to eat ONE vegan meal, is entitled, rude, and ridiculous. I find it baffling that you - and a few others on here - are not grasping why vegans cannot and WILL not eat, or be anywhere near meat, poultry, fish, or dairy. But it is still OK to expect meat eaters/dairy eaters to eat one vegan meal.

HOW ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS?!!!!!!

Seriously WTAF?!

Some comments on here are the reason why they need to put cooking instructions on a can of soup.

.

What is up with this cat woman????

OP - I really hope your aunt comes alone and gets a respite from the mean old buzzard uncle.

There is so much madness on this thread - OP you should have whatever you want at your wedding and I hope you have a lovely day. I don’t get this thing about having to have meat. I eat whatever, sometimes meat, sometimes vegetarian and sometimes 😱 vegan food. All can be delicious if cooked well. Going somewhere and having a vegan meal isn’t an issue in my view, and i can’t understand why anyone would get their knickers in a twist. You’re not eating cyanide

Humans are meant to eat meat. Our teeth show this. Meat and dairy are vital to health
I'd be careful with the "we need meat, look at our teeth" argument. If you believe that you should probably also go with "we shouldn't consume dairy, look at our digestive enzymes". No other mammals consume milk beyond infancy or naturally drink the milk of another species. Other mammals stop producing lactase, the enzyme needed to break down lactose, as they get older, and so do a substantial number of humans. By that measure you could say "humans aren't meant to consume dairy".
In reality modern diets of all types, are far removed from what early humans ate, and we have evolved to suit our diet to a degree anyway - that's why lactose intolerance is relatively uncommon in Northern European communities compared to some others. So the argument about what we are biologically intended to eat is moot really. But if you are going to use it, at least use it consistently.

For what it's worth I eat meat and dairy. I like them and they are convenient sources of a variety of nutrients. But neither is "vital for health".

Meat eaters eat non meat. Vegans don’t eat meat. What a stupid comparison.

I don't know what's going on with that poster, but she's giving the rest of us cat people a bad name! 😆

I can't believe some of us are having to explain this really obvious basic fact.

Your wedding, your choice. If others don't want to come that's their loss. I'd probably attend the wedding, which is the important bit, but slip away immediately after as I don't like vegan food. If half the people going are vegan or vegetarian then you will still have lots of people at your reception. You should not change the venue for a few guests.

So, you never eat any vegetables, bread, potatoes, grains etc?

I feel that people who say they don't like vegan food don't know what good vegan cuisine tastes like and lack imagination.

You would eat fresh crusty bear with olive oil, sun dried tomatoes and olives, Mediterranean roast vegetables with cous cous, salads, roast potatoes, mushroom risotto? Not a pulse, nor fake meat or fake cheese in sight. I haven't even mentioned the plethora of Middle Eastern and Asian sub continent dishes that are vegan.

Then there are "normal" foods which happen to be vegan - Bourbon biscuits, Oreos, baked beans etc.

I do marvel at some of the “intelligence” levels on show here sometimes!

We’ll have lots of people there, including meat eaters.

If half the people going are vegan or vegetarian then you will still have lots of people at your reception.
Well, thank you kindly I'm sure for the reassurance
I'd hazard a guess that most of the OP's guests are not of the kind who will fly into a panic or a rage at the idea of entering a vegan restaurant and being compelled to not eat meat for a few hours.

That's how weddings work, surely. I've been to church weddings and sang the hymns despite not believing in any religion. I didn't for one second feel like my world view was in jeopardy.

I'd be interested to know if you'd attend a bbq and just suck it up, if the only meat on offer was horse or dog meat, which is eaten in some cultures. Or is it only vegans you expect to eat outside of their own morals and comfort zone?

That was supposed to say "you wouldn't eat fresh crusty bread".

Not sure you would find bear at a vegan restaurant.

Meat and dairy are not vital to health. Many cultures are historically vegetarian. Many people are lactose intolerant and so we cannot consume dairy and yet survive just fine.

So people who marry in churches (or who marry at all) are inflicting their ideological worldview on guests.

It’s called a wedding.

@ThatBlackCat are you married? If so, did you run every choice about your day past every single one of your guests when you arranged your wedding day?

Surely whoever gets married and chooses the meal 'inflicts' their choice on their guests?

I would absolutely attend a vegan wedding without a second thought.

However I would struggle to find a vegan meal I could eat. I can often find delicious vegan side dishes but a main vegan course is a bit of a stretch for me, so it would really depend what they were serving.

I like a really wide range of food but mushrooms are the one thing I can’t stand. I can even taste them if they’re hidden. I’m also keto (for health reasons) so that means no breads, potatoes, grains, or sugar. No mushrooms and no carbs rules out a hell of a lot of vegan cuisine for me.

As I say, I absolutely support anyone who wants a vegan wedding. If that’s your way of life, I completely understand why having meat or animal products at your wedding would be unacceptable. You shouldn’t have to compromise what you believe just to please others. There’s been plenty of non-vegan weddings I’ve been to where some people didn’t like/didn’t eat the food but to eat food isn’t the main reason why you’re there so it really doesn’t matter that much, surely?

I’m just commenting to correct the narrative of “everyone can eat vegan food”. In theory yes, but depending on the dishes available, it’s not hard to end up with a menu which excludes some folk. And that’s totally ok - that happens at non-vegan weddings too - but just wanted to acknowledge that.

I'm not vegan but I agree with your DH. I'd do nothing, and if they mention it just say you're sorry they can't make it. Unless they have valid concerns, like an allergy to nuts which is included in all the dishes or something.

Why would you not just go but just not eat very much? What would you do at a wedding that was a set menu if it was not to your taste? Walk out?