Vegan wedding causing issues

[WeddingProblem]

We are getting married in a few months. Registry office then a meal in a restaurant for 40 guests. I’m vegan. My partner and kids are happy to eat vegan for our wedding (they’re a mix of vegan, vegetarian and meat eater) so we have booked a vegan restaurant.

A couple of relatives have told another relative that they’re not happy with the restaurant choice being vegan and might not come to our wedding because of it. The relative asked what the issue is, whether they had any allergies/intolerances, but no, it’s purely because they don’t want to eat a vegan meal.

We haven’t addressed it with them and I’m not sure how to. I’ll definitely wait for them to bring it up. I’m hoping they won’t, but if they do, how would you deal with it? My partner, relative that told me and friends all say to just say it’s a shame if you can’t come but we understand. One person thinks we should change restaurant 😬 but I don’t feel we should have to do that for our wedding and it’s just one meal.

What would you do? Of the people attending, roughly half are vegan or vegetarian and we’ve had lots of positive comments about the restaurant we’ve picked even from some of the meat eaters.

Yup! That's why I wrote 'can't/won't'... There will be some people who can't physically eat meat as it causes health problems, so they avoid meat and thus follow a vegan diet. And there are others who won't eat meat because it offends their beliefs, or they don't like the appearance / taste / whatever.

I myself eat more vegan / veggie options than meat, just because I enjoy colourful crunchy veg, nuts etc. Fave food: macaroni cheese with some green veg mixed in (not vegan, of course.

Can't believe the people saying they would skip the wedding because of the FOOD. Really?? You would skip out on supporting a loved one on one of the biggest days of their life because you're more worried about your stomach? You really need to re-think your priorities.

It's a wedding invite, not a summons. If they want to skip out the whole day over one meal, they're not a real friend. They can eat before they come, and then gravmb a takeaway on the way home. Doesn't ound like its a long or huge reception.

Personally, I'm not a fan of vegan food. I'm a fussy eater at the best of times and have been to many a wedding that doesn't serve up what I like. But its not my day, or budget, or vision, or choice. I enjoyed the chanpagne and grabbed a cheeky burger on the way back to the hotel.

The guests should be respectful of the couples dietary requirements. They are not obliged to feed people meat when they're against it. I would feel so rude even broaching the subject. Worst case scenario, leave after the service, wish the couple well, and skip the afterparty

Unless there are any obligate carnivores attending, I can't see why you can't serve whatever you like at your own wedding! Your relatives have been invited not summoned and if they are rude enough decline because of this, then that is entirely their problem. I say this as someone who rarely has a meal without meat, but I'm fully capable of trying new things too!

I think it's great that you're having a vegan meal, and hope you have a wonderful wedding day! Remind your guests that a plant-based meal is the most inclusive of all - everyone can enjoy it!

I’m not vegan but happily eat vegan food sometimes (as long as there’s no yucky vegan cheese included)

Your wedding,do it whatever way you want.
However I do have to ask if a family member was getting married and the meals chosen had no vegan options available would you suck it up and eat meat/animal product for ONE meal? Because thats what your essentially asking your guests to do for your wedding.

What's rubbish? I know you can have plenty of choice without meat. I eat very little of it myself and eat a very varied, mostly vegetarian diet. But it's obviously true that if you decide not to eat something, you are cutting down your options. By the way, I never said anybody needed to include meat.

Meat eaters already eat food that is vegan as part of their regular diet, though (or at least they should if they care about their health!). So you aren’t asking them to eat something that’s outwith their dietary requirements.

I'm omnivourous (but could quite happily be a vegetarian, although not vegan due to my kryptonite of cheese), i think it's "fear" of the word "vegan" that sends people daft. My dad absolutely wolfed down, no questions asked, some cranberry and orange stuffing balls at Christmas (specifically advertised as "vegan" "plant based"), I know for.a fact if id told him prior to eating that they were vegan, he wouldnt have even tried them. Ignore the omnivores, it's your wedding, your rules. Who.doesnt like roasted.veg??? 👍

This is your special day, so what you want goes, people have to understand that.

As a happy carnivore, I would attend, especially if you were dear to me.
If they have sight of an explanatory menu, maybe that'll help.

I've always looked at recipes fm a point of view, does that look nice?
Some of my favorite and easiest recipes just happen to be vegetarian.

Having said that, I think your insistence on 'vegan' drinks is unreasonable.
Clearly you, and others shouldn't be subject to the sight and inevitable smell of meat, but a drink is anonymous. How would you know if that class of wine is vegan.

How far will you take this?.
Will you insist on no meat consumption 48hrs prior?

We had a full vegan menu for over 100 guests and no one complained (to our faces anyway!). Stick to your plan and I'm sure they'll be pleasantly surprised. Good luck!

How bloody narrow minded and judgemental of them

twll them not to
come

what a weird attitude

I agree! We're omnivorous but one of my sons is allergic to (amongst other things) dairy and eggs so a lot of my baking is vegan.
When DS was younger I used to sometimes make the post match teas at one of his sports clubs. I used to make a mix of vegan and non vegan food and put a sign on the vegan. There was usually quote a lot of the vegan stuff left over. One day I did an experiment and made all the cake vegan and served it without saying anything. Every crumb was eaten. One of the parents even said "Glad to see you've given up making that vegan muck, this is great" whilst he was munching on a large piece of vegan brownie! There are definitely some people who are determined not to like vegan food before they have even tried it.

Please please tell me you told the ignorant twat it was vegan!

Im not vegan or vege but sometimes I like to
go to Mildreds (London restaurant) because the food is amazing. Especially the curries

Open your mind. Try a vegan restaurant. Nobody feels deprived of anything

This isn’t true, meat eaters eat carbohydrates, fruit and veg normally, vegans don’t eat meat and other animal products.

Would you attend a non vegan wedding? You should cater for everyone and not just what you believe in. IMO. Congratulations though on the wedding. Have a great day regardless.

its pretty easy to tell with wine. The non vegan wines are clarified with finings made from fish or animal produce, the vegan wines will be clarified ("fined") withan inorganic or vegetable product. A vegan restaurant will only stock vegan drinks. I believe that most, if not all spirits, and liqueurs are vegan. of course the ones with dairy products are not but Baileys (Diageo) actually do a vegan version.

Most definitely keep your choice of restaurant. Your wedding day. Yes I am a vegetarian , but I also eat plenty of Vegan stuff too. You haven't said who the stupid couple are. But just to save issues later say I am sorry you do not wish to attend our Wedding meal. Would you still like to come to the ceremony itself? Keep a smile on your face as you say it & the only idiots in the situation are them. I find it so difficult to beleive that they have the cheek to even suggest you change restaurants to suit them. My first wedding there was a lot of issues with various realities, so we decided to have a registerary office wedding with 2 friends as witnesses. We went round & told people afterwards. Back in 1978. Everyone was happy for us. And it saved all the silly arguments of who to sit people next to. My brother who had got married a few months before, the whole big white Church Wedding, wished he had thought of that. Seriously though do not give in to this couple, who ever they are. Have a wonderful wedding day. X

Nope.
58kg.

But meat eaters can eat vegan food. Vegans cannot eat meat or dairy.

So your comment doesn't make sense.

Hahaha LOL. 😄

This. ^