Vegan wedding causing issues

[WeddingProblem]

We are getting married in a few months. Registry office then a meal in a restaurant for 40 guests. I’m vegan. My partner and kids are happy to eat vegan for our wedding (they’re a mix of vegan, vegetarian and meat eater) so we have booked a vegan restaurant.

A couple of relatives have told another relative that they’re not happy with the restaurant choice being vegan and might not come to our wedding because of it. The relative asked what the issue is, whether they had any allergies/intolerances, but no, it’s purely because they don’t want to eat a vegan meal.

We haven’t addressed it with them and I’m not sure how to. I’ll definitely wait for them to bring it up. I’m hoping they won’t, but if they do, how would you deal with it? My partner, relative that told me and friends all say to just say it’s a shame if you can’t come but we understand. One person thinks we should change restaurant 😬 but I don’t feel we should have to do that for our wedding and it’s just one meal.

What would you do? Of the people attending, roughly half are vegan or vegetarian and we’ve had lots of positive comments about the restaurant we’ve picked even from some of the meat eaters.

Anyone who declines a wedding invitation because of the wedding breakfast doesn’t care about celebrating the marriage, they are merely looking for someone else to buy them dinner. I think it’s incredibly rude. Can’t they bring a couple of sausages wrapped in foil to nibble on between the ceremony and the meal?

I am a meat eater but have a number of vegetarians and vegans in my life and I would have absolutely no issue eating at whatever restaurant they wanted for THEIR wedding!

Truly astonishing how entitled people can be in this world. As long as there are a few options to choose from then I literally can’t see any issue. At the end of the day they can just have as much as they want and then go get a burger if they’re that desperate for something else!

Please don’t let this cause you any stress, it’s your day and you should have it exactly how you would like it. Normal restaurants often have rubbish vegan options so why should you suffer! Also don’t let anyone being mean on here get you. Have a lovely wedding.

It's your wedding and you get to decide where you want to have the meal. I think it's a good option especially considering how many vegans and vegetarians are coming.
People are so rude these days. If they don't like it they can stay at home. Or they could just "put up" with a vegan meal for once and if they don't like the food or are still hungry they can get something else on the way back to the hotel, or bring some sandwiches or something.
I was brought up to accept food gracefully even if I didn't like it. I don't know when people started being so fussy and thinking it's ok to complain about things like this. I don't mean people with food allergies, intolerance or religious reasons etc. of course.

What do you class as the "older generation"?
I'm 67 and often eat vegan dishes.

I'm so sorry you were pressured into that. People can be so pushy and their need for everything to seem normal or not rock the boat can really get in my head.

Everyone can eat vegan food, so everyone is catered for. Preferring to choose meat is fine, if that's your choice, but no meat eater needs to eat meat at every meal. One meal where they eat something plant-based is not being a bad host.

Pretty much every single meat-eaters wedding I have been to has offered one single vegetarian "option", so vegetarians had to like it or lump it. Is that great hosting?

You are talking utter nonsense.
Can you really not eat a meal without meat? Do you never eat pasta or pizza?

Are you lacking in imagination in other aspects of your life as well?

Why do you think projecting your ridiculous food issues are relevant to the OP's wedding?

I'm vegetarian, I like my dairy, but I have and will embrace a vegan dish. In my experience, when it's being offered at a vegan restaurant or as a dedicated menu (tasting menu / afternoon tea) the taste and presentation is amazing and you don't necessarily think you're missing anything.

If they're worried they'll still be hungry, they can always pop to McDonald's afterwards.

It's your wedding. You do what you would like to do. If they don't like it, they don't have to come.

I wouldn't raise it with your aunt and uncle. Leave them to speak to you directly - you send the invite, they choose to accept or not. None of this running to another family member to have a moan.

I can speak from experience. My husband and I are vegetarians, him his whole life, so it made such logical sense not to have meat served on our wedding day. I was worried about my meat loving family but they didn't make a peep, maybe a few jokes about smuggling in a stirloin etc, the only person who complained at length was my aunt who had form for being incredibly controlling.

I just told her take it or leave it, she pulled another power move by saying she "didn't like" any of the varied menu she could choose from ahead of time, so I simply had the litchen make her request of salad and mozzarella. She looked a right tit on the day as it was really unexpectedly great cuisine, so much so many hardened meat eaters requested the recipes.

My aunts argument was that its rude not to provide meat because at a meat eaters wedding there is usually a veggie option ... my reply was yes true but that's because EVERYONE can eat a veggie option, but not everyone can eat meat. So eat your bloody delicious vegetarian meal and shut up.

its ridiculous that they cant eat vegan for a day. Not even a full day. one meal. The can always have a burger before coming.

can you not see the irony in your post? 🤣🤣🤣

nah I’m sticking with my take on you - you are being deliberately provocative and arsey.

I'm a meat lover but would absolutely attend a vegan wedding or other social event. It's really not a big deal. I assume a vegan restaurant serves much nicer food than a "normal" restaurant with one or two vegan options, so I'm sure the meal will be lovely!

Do whatever you want to do, and know that anyone who chooses not to attend purely because it's vegan is being incredibly immature.

Hope your wedding goes smoothly and that you enjoy your special day ❤️

Hope some of you freaking out at eating veggies are never invited to an Indian wedding, where most of the food will be naturally vegan, delicious and sans any fake meat.

@BubblesandTiara · Today 16:24

It's still about being fussy. If it's not medical, or religious at a push, it's just being a bit childish and fussy.

Agree. And there is nothing provocative or goady about this either. (As a pp said.)

Fuck me, I’m 72 and I didn’t know I was supposed to be confused about food. I find your comments about the older generation is patronising at best and downright rude and disrespectful at worse.

To a certain extent it’s your wedding so you choose but I would ensure that they have a menu option that suits all your guests tastes eg my dmum doesn’t do spice or foreign really nor pulses, lentils etc so I had to ensure there was food she actually ate whilst also accommodating vegans, gluten free, vegetarians who didn’t like vegetables etc. we chose a venue that served all food to get options

I have to agree. @SquirrelMadness that's a demeaning and patronising comment to say 'older people' will get confused about what veganism is. Ridiculous comment, as well as being bloody innaccurate. Do you think everyone over 60 is fucking daft and clueless?

Ps I eat meat but eat vegan food regularly, it’s not everyone’s taste though to eat meals with many components

@BubblesandTiara

What nerve would you hit exactly? I am still laughing at fussy eaters who behave like tantrumming toddlers, and are people in general who are so precious they can't even consider a meal out of their comfort zone once.

Yep! Pathetic isn't it?!

It's ONE meal!

I'm a carnivore who always enjoys veggie food.

I can't think of anyone who ever checked what was planned for diner when invited somewhere, so am really not sure why a wedding is suddenly different for the fussy toddlers!

The complainers are making your wedding all about them. Don't pander to the bullshit. They can eat before they come or pick up a kebab on the way home.

The whole vegan meal thing, is such a non-issue, I can't fathom how people manage to make such a drama out of it. Unless they just love drama and that's the point. I'm a meat eater, but of course I have had loads of vegan meals before. We went to a vegan wedding a few years back, which was a three day affair, and barely noticed the lack of meat.

Your invitees are weirdos, let them stay home with a family sized packet of bacon, if that's what they want, and don't give it any more thought.

I’m amazed at the rudeness of people. I’m not vegan but if invited by a friend to a vegan meal, I’d go. Especially their wedding. Even if you did have a meat option, what’s next? “What’s the menu?” “Lamb” “oh I don’t like lamb, only chicken; I don’t think I’ll come unless you make it chicken.” These people have no manners, and are not real friends.

I’m used to the ridiculous contrarian attitude some people have towards vegan food but what’s really jaw dropping is the audacity of anyone to dictate what food someone else should serve at their wedding. The audacity and selfishness you’d have to have to want someone to change their wedding plans to suit you - it’s almost impressive.

You’ve been more than generous and accommodating @WeddingProblem. If they are going to change their relationship with you because they can’t have meat for one portion of one day, they don’t place much value on your relationship anyway. Selfish old twats!