Vegan wedding causing issues

[WeddingProblem]

We are getting married in a few months. Registry office then a meal in a restaurant for 40 guests. I’m vegan. My partner and kids are happy to eat vegan for our wedding (they’re a mix of vegan, vegetarian and meat eater) so we have booked a vegan restaurant.

A couple of relatives have told another relative that they’re not happy with the restaurant choice being vegan and might not come to our wedding because of it. The relative asked what the issue is, whether they had any allergies/intolerances, but no, it’s purely because they don’t want to eat a vegan meal.

We haven’t addressed it with them and I’m not sure how to. I’ll definitely wait for them to bring it up. I’m hoping they won’t, but if they do, how would you deal with it? My partner, relative that told me and friends all say to just say it’s a shame if you can’t come but we understand. One person thinks we should change restaurant 😬 but I don’t feel we should have to do that for our wedding and it’s just one meal.

What would you do? Of the people attending, roughly half are vegan or vegetarian and we’ve had lots of positive comments about the restaurant we’ve picked even from some of the meat eaters.

This.

If you really think that is analogous, you have a problem.

Vegans don’t eat any foods derived from animals. Are you telling us that you think steak-eaters don’t eat any foods derived from plants?

As long as you're planning a good range of options then fuck 'em. Just please offer more than the ubiquitous stuffed peppers, lentil and nut roast, or vegan mac and cheese, because as a vegetarian I am sick of those being the go-to veggie options at events!

That is because they are either ignorant, picky eaters or cats.

Ignore them.

Because they’re vegan, which excludes eating meat. Being an omnivore does not mean it excludes pulses, vegetables etc.

in fact eating meat alone would be extremely unhealthy, unless you’re a lion 🦁

HTH!

Another deliberately provocative and arsey post which is entirely without merit.

What is inhospitable about vegetables? God people will find anything to moan about these days.

A free meal in a lovely restaurant? Rude arseholes. Your wedding your choice… have a wonderful day!

OP, I had a vegetarian wedding and my FIL said there was no way he would pay for it, FYI he didn't and was never asked to ;). He sulked and talked about not coming on the day, but he did and ended up eating some jam sandwiches, looking like the petulant toddler he proved himself to be. Everyone else loved the food - the place we chose did incredible food.

Honestly, it'll be amazing and your guest is thinking of themselves and nobody else in this scenario.

Tbh, what if it was a meat eaters wedding and tou got invited to a restaurant that only cooks meat? I wouldn't eat vegan food either

Being a wedding guest is about celebrating the happiness of the bride and groom. If they can't come in that spirit then let them stay at home.

I'm veggie but if choose a venue that caters for all food preferences. Its just the polite thing to do imo.

OP's relatives, I assume? I imagine they are fine with the building
Ooh, you're being disingenuous at me. Well done you

Why would anyone 'anticipate a wedding feast to 'be' anything, much less kick up a fuss about what it actually is? When I'm invited to a wedding my first thought is usually 'How lovely they've invited me and I get to see them and x and y people we all know'.
Then I might think about how will I get there/if there's public transport (I don't drive), then what shall I wear, then what presents are they asking for/are they asking for cash/do they say 'nothing needed'.
Eagerly anticipating a roast or a rubber chicken or a sad beef Wellington or whatever is just not within my experience.
They sound militant. And bizarre.

Exactly! A veg and bean chilli and rice, all vegetable soups, lentil and carrot cottage pie, vegetable Thai curry, veg stir fry, risotto, pasta bake, etc...all can be cooked vegan and are delish and don't taste like cardboard. I'm not vegan but I cook like this loads just because I'm always keen to cram as much veg into meals as I can. Only thing I can't do is tofu, I've tried, it's just not for me.

Vegan isn’t niche at all! It’s been mainstream for over a decade and accidental vegan meal are part of our staple diet

cooking nice party level UPF free vegan food is hard though so I would be thrilled to get proper vegan food prepared for me. Steak I can cook anytime !

I dislike vegan food
Every single iteration of every possible vegan dish that's ever been?

Just carry on without them if necessary. They can’t dictate what you serve at your wedding. It might be different if they had a religious objection but how can anyone object to vegan food. Some of it is delicious. Like any other invitation they can accept or decline as they please.

I mean, my thoughts do drift rather quickly to the food but that's only because I am greedy! If someone's putting a plate of food in front of me or inviting me to the buffet, I'm happy and not fussed what the actual options are!

I mean honestly, I wouldn’t want to go to a vegan restaurant nor would I choose to go to one however it’s your day your choice just like it’s the guests choice to attend. Saying that I wouldn’t be rude enough to voice my opinion if it was a close relative or friend I would just attend and order something very small as I prob wouldn’t eat it, but I would be going to be apart of the day not to fill my belly. If I wasn’t close to the couple I would politely decline the invite 🤷🏻‍♀️.

i would just say, the restaurant comes highly recommended and you as a family are looking forward to it but you understand if they can’t attend but it would be nice if the came to help celebrate your day. Xx

Don't change the restuarant, stand your ground and kill them with kindness.

As a meat eater myself, I do not get the uproar from the meateaters. Some meat eaters are SO entitled to eat meat in every meal, it's borderline culty and weird. It's one meal of veggies and pulses and you're not paying for it. Some people need to grow up!

They are being weird. It's not the end of the world if you own preference isn't avaliable, it's the wedding that's the celebration.

I went to ny niece's 18th party at an Italian restaurant despite being allergic to olive oil.

It's one meal. Ignore them.

For what it's worth I'm going to a vegan wedding next month.

I'm not a vegan and don't especially like the restaurant it's at (it's a vegan junk food place - fake meat etc which I really dislike - I'd much rather have naturally vegan food than pretend meat/cheese containing good knows what!). But I wouldn't dream of not going or complaining about it.

As a carnivore who dislikes a lot of veg I think they are being incredibly rude. If you are invited to a wedding you don't get to moan about the food. Obviously any dietary requirements / allergies should be taken into consideration, but apart from that you get what you are given.

Is it a set menu or can they pick? If its the latter then they have even less to moan about.

If they are that bothered they can either stay at home or have a big breakfast and suck it up!

They’re rude. Ignore the ad as others have suggested, if they bring it up just act breezy and that “oh well”.
I have to be honest, the worst food I’ve ever had at a wedding was a vegan only menu. Vegan food is quite a stretch for a lot of us, in a way that vegetarian is not. And this venue did it particularly badly. Be prepared that some of your guests may not enjoy the food and be ok with that. I certainly never told our hosts, but our table did briefly admit to one another we had not enjoyed it. Of course this can be the case with any food.

I would stick with your chosen venue. It’s your wedding day! You deserve to enjoy it fully and without apology. You’ve been kind enough to invite these people and pay for them to have a meal. They’re miserable to be complaining about that. It’s one meal out of their lives. I’m sure they can suck it up and eat some plants!

Also, an actual vegan restaurant is much more likely to serve delicious vegan food, with no contamination risk. A non-vegan restaurant would be chucking something together out of necessity and it might not be as good and there’s risk for mistakes etc.