Vegan wedding causing issues

[WeddingProblem]

We are getting married in a few months. Registry office then a meal in a restaurant for 40 guests. I’m vegan. My partner and kids are happy to eat vegan for our wedding (they’re a mix of vegan, vegetarian and meat eater) so we have booked a vegan restaurant.

A couple of relatives have told another relative that they’re not happy with the restaurant choice being vegan and might not come to our wedding because of it. The relative asked what the issue is, whether they had any allergies/intolerances, but no, it’s purely because they don’t want to eat a vegan meal.

We haven’t addressed it with them and I’m not sure how to. I’ll definitely wait for them to bring it up. I’m hoping they won’t, but if they do, how would you deal with it? My partner, relative that told me and friends all say to just say it’s a shame if you can’t come but we understand. One person thinks we should change restaurant 😬 but I don’t feel we should have to do that for our wedding and it’s just one meal.

What would you do? Of the people attending, roughly half are vegan or vegetarian and we’ve had lots of positive comments about the restaurant we’ve picked even from some of the meat eaters.

Unless it's a straightforward salad, then no I don't

But I would never suggest that the B&G should change their venue.

it’s purely because they don’t want to eat a vegan meal.

Off they fuck back to 1956 then

not eating corpses is an ethical choice

Random person don't be so ridiculous, I'm vegan why I should eat meat I don't agree with whole sale slaughter of animals who says we can't eat humans then we're animals??
I don't want to and I'm not going to either.
A wedding buffet where there is nothing for veggies or vegans to eat is rude cosidering we weren't told what the menu was made up of.

They are very rude. Your wedding, your choice and they don’t have to come.

I’m not a vegan food fan (I used to be vegetarian) as I like my cheese and eggs and I’m allergic to coconut which vegans seem to include in fecking everything as a dairy sub. But I’d just not go if I really didn’t like the food options.

Stick to your guns and enjoy.

Wow! I think it's incredibly rude of your guests to even question the meal. So rude! Are they scared of the word "vegan" perhaps? Tell them it'll be a yummy meat and dairy free meal that you're sure they will enjoy if they would like to share this special day with you. They can always get a MacDonalds on the way home! I'm offended on your behalf that they would reject your lovely invite because of a meal. Out of interest, what is the meal?

How rude.

You are invited somewhere, you eat what you are given. And if you can't / won't eat it, you discreetly leave it in your plate.

We are not obligate carnivores, we eat anything. They shouldn't even know it's a vegan restaurant, they can have a steak for breakfast if they are that desperate.

Different about allergies, but we really should stop pandering with fussy eaters. Eat it, don't eat it, who cares 😂

You’re taking it very literally….
saying you won’t come to a venue purely based on the menu choice knowing that the bride and groom have already booked you a hotel room isn’t the actions of rational people…
People can opt out by declining, they don’t need to go bashing menu and drinks choices to the extended family, a simple sorry we can’t attend would suffice.
Saying you won’t come unless things are changed for you is a threat, a mild one wordy one but it’s definitely a “if you do this we won’t come” which isn’t pleasant

I will never really enjoy vegan tbh but that's on me. I hate the ingredients like beans and lentils and very often the texture of the food.

Saying that, as a host I would not cater like this. Food is important for me for a celebration and therefore I would always choose somewhere everyone can be happy.

We had a similar size group and also chose a restaurant instead of a catered venue and had a meal with 4 options to pre-order from their normal menu for the main course - starter was a mix of several of their dishes to share.
I would hate being the host and knowing I have guests who don't like the food I am serving.

"Self absorbed "
It's my wedding so it's going to be vegan even though no one else amongst the 40 guests is remotely vegan . And, yes, I could choose a mainstream restaurant that serves nice options of meat , veggie and vegan . .....but I'm not going to because. .... its all about meeeeee'

Tbf if she can’t eat onions she would struggle at any wedding, unless it was a cold meat buffet.

That’s a dietary issue tho, which @WeddingProblemis happy to accommodate.

I do worry about people who from choice eat no vegetables. Do they just have steak and plain rice when eating out? I mean I have eaten out with the friend I mentioned and that’s what she does.

But I agree with those who say they have had plenty of grim set meals with meat included at weddings.

ETA vegan food is not all lentil curry btw. And I really don’t see why a bride who is vegan shouldn’t on her wedding day get a decent choice of food. Anyone saying “go to a restaurant that caters for all” has obvs never had the vegan option. Often it’s just the veggie one but without xxx (non vegan ingredient) with no effort made.

I think the people who are up in arms at having to eat one meal without animal products are ridiculous. I wouldn’t change and I’d just let them not come, unless them not being there really would spoil the day for you.

As a guest I’d be a little anxious whether it was a fixed menu or if I’d have a choice. There’s a lot of vegan dishes I can’t eat as I can’t eat mushrooms, broccoli, lentils or chickpeas anymore - no idea if it’s a FODMAP thing or what but they make me really, really unwell for days. Which is a shame as they were some of my favourite ingredients/ dishes and healthy too. But in fairness they could easily be components of a non-vegan set meal, I just feel like it would be more likely with the vegan one.

I wouldn’t say anything I’d hope to fill up on bread or similar.

It's beyond rude 😂

It's also incredibly immature childish, you are INVITED! You shouldn't even be told what's for the wedding breakfast, if you don't like it, don't eat it.

How precious must you be if you refuse an invitation because the menu is not of your liking 😂

How pathetic of them. As a vegan, why on earth would you have dead animals as part of your special day! Also hilarious that people 'dont eat vegan'. So... you never eat fruit, veg, grains? Get a grip!

It says in the OP that roughly half the guests are vegan or vegetarian. I’m guessing it’s not the vegetarians kicking up a fuss that they can’t have cheese or eggs for one meal.

I wouldn’t want to pay for a vegan meal. But it’s your wedding and if you are feeding me for free. I’ll take it and enjoy it!

'Vegan food' is just food. I'm mostly veggie, dh is vegan, here's a selection of what we might eat of an eve - mixed veg, bean and lentil chilli, veg Thai green curry, veg stir fry, med veg pasta bake, baked stuffed peppers, jacket spuds with veg ratatouille. None of this involves upf fake meat, sometimes I use tofu which I marinate and crisp up. Are people really saying they couldn't possibly eat any of that? Or it'd somehow become acceptable with a bit of meat chucked in? Fecking ludicrous.
Don't change your venue op, if they refuse to come because of it they're just making themselves look like arseholes.

Well for yrs and yrs the vegans and veggies have had the one vegan/veggie option 'forced' on them. Are you put out by that too?

I don't think a vegan wedding is rude at all.

We had a vegan wedding in our family, self catered, and I was very happy eating the food.

However, my school-age children (some ND) were asking for something else to eat, so I said that is fine, I will take you to get something else from the supermarket on the way back to the place where we are staying.

I picked up some chicken pieces from the rotisserie counter for them.

I was a bit worried that we were being rude, but 1 DC in particular has foods they will and will not eat. Especially vegetables, to do with texture apparently.

Otherwise, it was all fine.

Just joining as another meat eater to say your relatives are being unreasonable.

Your wedding is to celebrate your union. Why wouldn’t the day reflect you and your partners preferences in clothes, music, flowers and food. If your relatives can’t tolerate your preferences and values for even 1 evening then maybe it’s better they don’t come.

Why would a vegan pay to have animals hurt to celebrate their wedding? It makes zero sense.

But Op would reject their invitation if it was a yummy prawn cocktail, beef Wellington and Eton mess. Or she would expect there to be vegan options just like the meat eaters at ger wedding expect there to be things they can eat .

It’s your day and you get to chose the food!! It’s one meal for goodness sake, it’s not going to kill them to eat one meal that isn’t what they would ideally want. Don’t change the restaurant! If they want to be ridiculous and not turn up, that’s their loss. I hope you have a lovely day!

Meat eaters can eat vegan food. So there IS something they can eat.

Not every meat eater would like your proposed menu either.

Some people on here are saying they never eat fruit or veg tho. I’m baffled too.

ETA yummy prawn cocktail would have made my mum ill; lots of people don’t like eating beef; and at least two friends can’t eat dairy so Eton mess is out too.