Hosting and warning non-vegans

[veganhost]

We are just about to move into a big enough home in a desirable area where it’ll be easy to have people stay overnight. We are looking forward to welcoming visitors, including on a ’hotel style’ basis, ie feel free to crash at ours but do what you want otherwise.

Now, since we’ve welcomed quite a few people to come and stay, not everyone is super aware of our belief and I feel that we need to warn people that we do not want any non-vegan food in our home. Some vegans don’t have any issues with this, but we do, and won’t change our minds. We are really not interested in discussing this or ’negotiating’, so to speak. I feel that we need to warn people about this so that they know before they come (and if they don’t want to come if they can’t have cow’s milk with their cereal eg, ok!).

How do we do this in the best way? I’ve thought of just mentioning it casually in an e-mail – is it then better as soon as a visit is discussed, or once dates have been set? Any suggestions on how to word this in a friendly but firm way would be much appreciated! I don’t really want to explain it, just state it, to avoid the risk of being told that we’re silly eg, but maybe a casual mention won't be noticed…

I wonder if any other vegan has personal experience of a similar situation, or if any non-vegan have a view on what they think. Any suggestions on how to best convey this in a nice but ’final’ way would be welcome!

Thanks for any thoughts 😊

Not really. Processed vegan foods tend to be labelled as vegan so that is an easily identifiable term.

Yes fully vegan
Intel I’ve found states same calcium etc etc as cows milk formula.

Not something I used as breastfed for quite a while and never used formula so I can’t say how mine tolerated any form of formula. However, there are formulas of all sorts on the market these days.

OP, just tell them ag the time of them asking to stay that you’re a vegan household so please make sure any food and drink they bring in to your home is vegan. No ifs, no buts. Let’s hope your family and friends aren’t like some of the posters on this thread. 😬

So true. People become completely ridiculous over others being vegan and having their own boundaries.

"It’s not just the fake leather. ( yes that’s rubber, fake plastic, other fabrics )
Vegan shoes won’t have glue either."

So, do vegans only wear very particular shoes from specialist retailers?

I only wear vegan shoes because those just labelled as not made of leather in standard shoe shops are not vegan, well not vegetarian either tbh.
I have no idea what others do.

Veganism is much more logically consistent than a religion which bans eating one type of animal but allows others, though. I would obviously respect anyone's choices of what food they're comfortable having in their home and would avoid bringing in anything they would find offensive, but pretending that religious tradition is a more sound basis for dietary choices, or more worthy of respect, than veganism is nonsense.

As you have said that you are not going to police visitors clothes and handbags I think you are being quite hypocritical and frankly ridiculous . Aside from your vegan family and friends I would imagine that most people will either not bother to come or will stay once and never return .

So, do vegans only wear very particular shoes from specialist retailers?

There are specific companies that are all vegan but lots of brands make vegan shoes like Dr martens, veja snd Nike. Places like Schuh have a range. Google, there’s loads.

I agree with the posters stating that you are likely to run into small issues with what people bring in if you are trying to police that.
The basic idea that you run a vegan household should be easy enough to understand but snacks and drinks that people buy and bring in might be an issue.
Not because people would want to be difficult but because if it isn't a focus a lot of purchasing of snacks is impulsive and not thought through.
I can also see dc's being an issue but you may not have them visiting.

And some vegans will wear second hand leather clothing items apparently but I’ve not come across many of them.

So what? Do you think people shouldn't be able to make their own house rules in their own homes?

Yes that’s what I’m saying.

Please don’t invite any non vegan friends to your house. Or family members.

You clearly dint respect them enough to acknowledge people can’t make genuine mistakes.

This thread is mad. What is it about being vegan that enrages people? It's an ethical choice. Take it or leave it - it's not as if OP is telling you all to be vegan she's just not offering anything vegan in the house!! Her house !!

Mostly I would agree with you but actually it is a bit more than that as she is policing what you bring into her house. So you can't bring in a non vegan snack bar or a coffee from the coffee shop with dairy milk in it- so it's not just about what she is offering.

Yes I agree that's really strict. Raw meat and eggs and pints of milk but snacks etc are fairly innocuous

When people first become vegan, they manage to check everything because it matters, like it should matter to not upset a friend by doing something very easy like checking what you’re eating. The guests in this case have the huge advantage of checking with the experienced vegan host as to whether their food and drink is vegan so there really is no need for ‘mistakes’.

It's her house though, she's allowed to make the rules. I'm sure we all have things we wouldn't other people bringing in our homes.

And that’s her right as it’s her house. If you don’t like it, the hotel is that way ➡️

I think the simple reminder of being a vegan house and no non vegan food. I'm not a vegan but I can't imagine being offended. If people can't accept that they don't need to come You are not being militant at all..

@Oneofthesurvivors I can't think of anything I would ban someone from bringing into my house except for dangerous/illegal or unhygienic things- don't bring guns, drugs or dog poo into my house!
I might have things I would prefer they didn't like loud electronic toys, velvet or smelly cheese (Camembert etc) but I wouldn't ban it.

However yes I agree her house her rules. In my own post I just talked about making it really clear to people how strict you are about that.

@GraveyardWhistling yes absolutely. I haven't disagreed with that at any point. I was just clarifying that posters point about it being about what she is offering because it's just not that and that's what she needs to make clear to people.

A friend of mine has no alcohol in her house, that includes chocolates and things like Xmas cake. Not religious, not an alcoholic, she just doesn’t want it in her house. Her house her choice. People really need to stop trying to erode others boundaries.

This is really odd - the risk of airborne contamination with dairy is extremely low so it seems bizarre that a nursery would require a whole room of babies to eat a milk substitute that is not typically recommended just because one has a dairy allergy. I'm not in the UK but I can't believe that this is in line with nutritional guidance for nurseries.

It's a bit strange to make hospitality to friends so conditional that you regard someone wanting milk as beneath you and so inferior that they are not welcome.