AIBU to feel disappointed about my daughter’s former primary school not inviting her back?

[JustAnotherDay27]

My daughter left primary school this summer and is now in Year 7.
Her former primary school is inviting some former pupils back to share their experiences of secondary school with the current Year 6 pupils.
Her former Year 6 class was very small, with only a handful of pupils. I recently found out that at least three of her former classmates have been invited, including two who now attend the same secondary school as my daughter.
A few weeks ago, my daughter asked me whether we’d received an invitation from her old school, so I think she was hoping to take part.
She seemed disappointed when she found out that some of her friends had been invited but she hadn’t.
I completely understand that the school may have its reasons for selecting certain pupils, and I don’t expect everyone to be invited. However, given how small the class was, I do wonder whether this approach could leave some children feeling excluded or overlooked.
I’m considering sending some polite feedback to the headteacher, not to request an invitation, but simply to highlight how this might affect children who weren’t selected.
AIBU to feel the school could have handled this more thoughtfully? Or is this just a normal part of school life that I should leave alone?
I’d genuinely appreciate other parents’ perspectives, particularly if your children’s schools have organised similar events.

Perfect opportunity for a lesson in resilience.

I’m guessing they chose very confident strong speakers? Or kids they knew would be positive and personable? Not everyone is a good public speaker or good with people, and that’s ok.

I’d leave it. life has its disappointments. This is not something to hyper focus on and rev your daughter up. Just forget it and move on and tell her to do the same.

You're being quite precious.

The school might have selected pupils from a variety of schools. The fact that two pupils from your DD's school have been selected indicates enough representation from that school.

I think it's a good learning opportunity to deal with those small disappointments we encounter in life.

It was a bit thoughtless but I’d probably not do anything about it.

We have this but the children are chosen by the secondary school. Are you sure that isn’t the case?

No you don’t need to inform school that their action may result in some minor disappointment. We can’t protect are children from such small non issues and nor should we.

Life is full of disappointments.
Life involves being overlooked sometimes. And excluded

Your daughter will be a happier adult if she learns that a little disappointment won't kill her.

Don't be ridiculous and contact the primary school head. They picked a couple of kids. They don't want four or six kids. They want two for their event.

Their priority is the event and their pupils. Not your daughter and her feelings.
She is not the centre of everyone's universe.

The Primary school obviously only has room for a limited number of visitors. Are the other people taking time off secondary school to visit the Primary school?
Maybe the High School feels DD's time would be better spent in her lessons.
It really isn't up to the Primary school, now, to consider the MH of past pupils whom they are not inviting to visit.
Why do parents feel
a)that their child is more important than anyone else and
b)that they could organise everything the school does better than the actual staff?

Not everyone gets chosen for everything and that is absolutely fine.

She didn't get chosen this time, and in her secondary school experience there will be things she won't be chosen for .

It's time for a life lesson in resilience with you guiding her through it with calmness and aplomb.
It's not time for you to complain about exclusion and act like this is a big deal.
It's not.

Let her focus 100% on the transition to Y7. That is what is most important now. The primary school chapter is closed.

Please don't.

The school SLT will have its reasons for choosing the children that they did. They won't want many of them or it gets difficult to manage the session. Whether they've picked straws or chosen those children for a particular reason, is their business.

If you write to complain, they'll roll their eyes and be glad that they chose who they did. Don't embarrass your child.

Just tell her that the school will only have wanted two or three people. Sympathise with her not being one of them's a shame, but that's life, unfortunately.

As someone who works in a secondary school, I beg you to listen to this.

That’s an interesting point, thank you. As far as I’m aware, the invitations came from the primary school, but I don’t know how the children were selected.

How can you say that you don't expect them all to be invited and in the next breath suggest talking to the school about your daughter being not being invited?
Which is it?

I would imagine they’ve chosen two from each secondary to come back-that’s what they did with my DD’s primary.

Oh God, you sound like a dose… seriously
(I’m a teacher and a parent of three teens)

But they can’t all come back?

Thry can't all come back, so why is your child more important than others?

Your dc is in secondary; take a step back.

dd disappointed, you reply oh that’s a shame but never mind and give her a hug… then move on. You have to let your dc feel things without trying to fix everything.

She didn’t get picked for something. 🤷🏼‍♀️ That’s life. Please don’t contact her previous school ( where she is no longer a pupil ) to complain. You have absolutely no idea why certain children were chosen. Or even who chose them.
All this conversation required was a shrug and a ‘oh well, they can’t have everybody, what shall be have for tea?…’

The school dont have any responsibility to your daughter since she left. Her happiness and inclusion doesn't factor

We currently have a generation of young people who are struggling more than ever before with their mental health.

I would imagine parents trying to protect them from every tiny little thing that hasn’t gone perfectly hasn’t helped.

It’s really not a big deal. Good opportunity to teach your dd that not everyone can get picked for everything.

They haven’t invited everyone but your DD. They’ve selected a few. It doesn’t matter how they chose them that’s irrelevant. Teach your DD not everyone will always get picked and that’s ok

For all you know, they drew names from a hat. Don’t let your daughter spend a second worrying about it.