Tell me the cheekiest-fckery you’ve heard today (lighthearted, in case it’s not obvious).

[FettleOfKish]

I’ll start. DH’s Sister & BIL asking DH to pick them up from the airport this evening.

No big deal you might think, except they live exactly 3km from the airport, their house is about 100m from a stop for the airport bus that goes every 15 minutes, they don’t have luggage to carry and are a family of 4 healthy adults with no mobility problems. A taxi door to door would likely be the same if not less than 4 x the bus fare.

Meanwhile we live almost an hour’s round trip along winding country lanes from the airport, in the opposite direction, and have to empty the car of isofix car seat / pram etc to get them all in.

I don’t know whether I’m more aghast that they’ve thought it reasonable to ask, or that he’s thought it reasonable to agree. Should I LTB?

Happened a few years ago but I'm often reminded of it at this time of year. A 'friend' and I had been talking about how much we loved blackberries, a couple of days later a farmer told me there were masses in a field he would be working in and we were welcome to come. I told 'friend' about the chance to pick loads but she said she wouldn't be coming so I went alone. 5 minutes after I returned her son appeared with a couple of big tupperware boxes, he'd come for 'his Mum's blackberries'. When he arrived home, empty handed, she rang and was furious that I was so mean as to keep them all, she hadn't wanted to come with me as she was very particular about her appearance, didn't want scratched arms etc,, whereas I didn't have the same concerns!

Dh’s friend was dumped by his gf for someone else a few months before their planned holiday to Greece. He was very upset. However he was even more upset when the week before their planned holiday was due she got back in contact to ask him for a lift to the airport as she was still going but with a friend. She said he’d said he would be driving them to the airport when they’d booked so surely he could still do it…

Not happened today but we used to own a holiday home in a scenic part of the British Isles. We didnt rent it out on the open market but did let it to family and friends, just asked for them to leave it tidy and £20 to cover gas/ electricity/ water. A friend of a friend was going through a hard time ( we were told) so we were approached and asked if we would mind them using it for a week in the summer. We agreed and arranged to meet them to hand over a set of keys. The husband then queries the £20 (" We were told this was free!") , so trying to be kind we waived it THEN asks for a contribution towards their petrol cost FROM US. Now I like to help my fellow man but at this stage I could see he was going to be a royal pain in the arse so withdrew my offer.

I live next door to nightmare neighbours (he's not too bad but she's the nightmare and he and their adult dds are under her thumb)

Anyway,for context,we own ours and she is council (im no snob-i grew up in a council house and had 3 as an adult)

They got a dog,no issue,never heard or saw it

They then got one of those sausage dogs and it's a nightmare (they bought it because it's cute but training it is too much like hard work)

Yaps and yaps all day in their garden while they scream at it to 'shut the fuck up!' every 5 minutes

We didn't rise to their abuse (which has been weekly,shit like hammering on our door to scream abuse at us,have a good at us for daring to park on our own drive and stealing our parcels) which pissed them off

We where once in the garden and was shouted at for 'teasing their dog' (in other words 'hanging my washing out,in my own garden',the garden i paid a hell of a lot of money to buy)

Then,one day,I'd just been for a wee (my bathroom window was slightly open and she thought we where out) and clearly heard her shout (she doesn't talk) 'go shit in next doors garden!'

I peered out of my window and she was bent over,pushing the sausage dog under our hedge and it did indeed do a shit and ran back under the hedge

(It was also pushed under the hedge into my garden to bark at me and toddler dgd)

I bought some cheap cameras and filmed her doing this a few times a day

I contacted the council and showed them the footage of her shoving her dog and it attacking me and dgd (it was only the bottom of my jeans but still...)

I have no idea what they said but it's not happened again

I mean if I wanted to deal with dog shit,I'd buy a dog!

They ignore us to our faces but scream about us everyday to some poor sod at the other end of the phone

We just ignore her,she's clearly a narcissist and that's the best thing to do

So we are the unreasonable ones for not wanting to be attacked in our garden or to deal with dog shit when we don't own a dog!

Guessing there’s a pattern of your SIL saying “jump” and your husband saying “how high?” @FettleOfKish ?

😂

I wouldn’t in a million years ask in the circumstances your describe

Nor would in a million years feel bad saying “sis…. What are you on about! That doesn’t make sense, get the bus or a taxi! Looking forward to hearing about the hols. Love you”

but instead your husband @FettleOfKish just said “sure thing”?

Sounds hellish. That poor dog.

Not cheeky fuckery but in response to the OP, my dd asked me to take & collection her from the airport. I told her my car is no different from the very reliable & cheap airport bus & except the bus drops passengers right by departures & cars can only drop off for free a 15 min walk away. She took the bus

READ THE POST FUCK SAKE

Im with you
I cannot imagine being bought just because I'm cute and then be neglected
They should be banned from owning the poor thing
It's not the dog I have issues with-its it's sodding owners

Oh, I know. I understood that completely. Horrid situation for you.

lol i see your point i would of said ok bye and opened a bottle of wine lol

The new partner of one of DH’s cousins has “put his foot down” over our Christmas arrangements.
Apparently it’s “beyond ludicrous” that we “charge family to attend” Christmas dinner.

We don’t. Christmas dinner is held at our house every year. Last year for 26. This year 29. Family insisted years ago (over 10) that if we were regularly having Christmas in the same place then it would be a family contribution event rather than a hosted event.

Originally it was people bringing things, but then it was decided (not by DH and I as it happens) it would actually be easier for one or two people who take responsibility for all the buying. Everyone chips in for the cost.

Folks then take turns to contribute in terms of work - always three cooks, several washer uppers, folks sort the tables and chairs etc. I can’t wait for this year as this year is my turn to do nothing.

The only time it’s ever an issue is when there’s a new partner who seems to think we’re profiteering out of Christmas dinner. He was told he didn’t have to come, but apparently his partner has told him how “amazing”the food is so he wants to come. He just doesn’t want to contribute.

He’s been told by his future MIL to either contribute or find other arrangements 😂

Imagine how he’ll react when it’s his turn to do one of the jobs . . .

May I suggest he cleans the greasiest pans when it's his turn!

I don’t understand this logic. Why is it easier to go in a friend / family members car than in a taxi? For the passenger there’s no difference, but it is an imposition on whoever you ask. Now, I accept it might be cheaper, and that might be reason enough to help. In which case why aren’t these people upfront and say that they can’t afford / don’t want to spend money on taxi and so could they please have a lift?

I think about this lady’s local Facebook group posting on a regular basis. She would ask for things like this often but this was the pinnacle of her CFery

I bought a (overhyped) toy for DD for Christmas. I was dubious about it but she insisted she wanted it. On getting it, it didnt work as the advert suggested. I took it back to the shop but they wouldn't refund and insisted it wasnt faulty.

So I put on fb free explaining that it was new but we had not been able to get it to work but if anyone else wanted to give it a go they were welcome. A woman collected it and then later messaged me to complain it didnt work properly! well duh.
(I was the one £30 out of pocket , she got a freebie she had been warned didnt work)

I once had a friend who I met down the pub.

she was a gardener as am I, her garden was lovely.

I am also a professional gardener.

she messaged me to say she had quite a few plants she no longer wanted and offered them to me, to collect.

i often used donated plants in my work so said yes I will come and collect them.

well they were still all in the ground and in truth she just wanted me to dig out her borders for free, oh in the blazing heat I might add.