What normal question do you hate being asked?

[timple]

Maybe not a normal question but to me it's anything to do with my first relationship. It's come up many times in different ways.

I was on a Hen do and we were playing games and it was 'whoever lost their virginity the latest has to take a shot'

It was me, I was 19 and it wasn't consensual. It was an abusive relationship. So I don't know whether to count that or the sleazy boyfriend I had right after aged 20.

It comes up very occasionally 'have you ever dated a scotsman?" Yes, my abuser but I can't say that so I just lied and said no.

"How old were you when you had your first relationship?" again the dreaded question.

I asked a lady who was telling me about her son the other day how many kids she had. She told me that just one as her other had died.

Three spring go mind instantly

Why aren't you married?
Why don't you have kids?
Are you sure you're not gay I think you are?

“What have you been up to”

It all depends where you are at in your life.

Ttc...do you want children?

Being in a good role...do you want to aim higher?

Tbh once you've experienced a personal question the first time you grow a thicker skin unless easily offended.

Never had a problem with the small talk, although boring, it does form bonding. Have you had a good weekend?

Yes, I tried canoeing for the first time and loved it. Wow, so do I, have been doing it for years, I can help teach you if you want, great club I'm with.

Yes, had a big sesh in X, brilliant 👏 Oh yeah, my local, in fact I part own this bar so let me know next time.

My uncle owns that camping site, you won't have to pay in future.

Sorry you've had a tough weekend, yeah it's hard, fancy a coffee when we're both free?

Are the sorts of conversations that initially start form the usual polite every day ones. You soon learn who you can trust and feel comfortable with to share more, natural human progression, how would we otherwise make friends with people we connect to?

That's a thing as well, people who say they don't have any friends? That's surely down to an avoidance from taking small talk to the next level? To make friends you have to open yourself up to be a friend.

The gay question you'd know yourself if you were and it's not a question to ask
Prying nosey AF

Me too - I was asked this yesterday. I replied I can’t [have children] which stopped any further prying but it did affect me later that day when someone else, unrelated, was showing me baby photos of their kids.

Are you married?
No - I’m single. I find they are the ones who get awkward when I tell them .

I never ask if someone has kids. But in a recent situation it came up as the couple I was talking to were talking about their DS, asking about my son. The other person with us, his brother, was being left out of the conversation so it seemed natural to ask. Turns out he has a son but there was a sadness when he mentioned him. So I just asked his name & moved on. I wouldn’t ask again…

i want your to know you are absolutely not “less than”. I have 4 children and when our cleaner comes I always tell me children “this is name she helps me get to spend time with you and makes the house lovely and clean to help Mummy”

Our lovely cleaner is a treasure and I am so grateful for her business model, skills, time management, foresight and dedication to her job.

do not ever, EVER feel less than. Your job is so pivotal and important and you give families the gift of a reduced mental load and time with our children and that is utterly priceless

It's nebby. Just leave me alone. I'll volunteer information if I decide that I feel like oversharing.

I had over a decade of adoring love from CatOfHate and not once did he ask me any invasive questions. Companionable silence is a legitimate form of social interaction.

I love learning what people do for a living but never see anyone as less than. Good cleaners are like gold dust and work bloody hard. I may ask that, but I’d want to know more than just that to really get to know you. In my life experience I’m far more likely to enjoy the company of a cleaner than a solicitor.

Come back to me after you've told someone your hobby only for them to slag it off at length.

As a multi bereaved parent I hate being asked how many children I have.
ig I tell the truth, people are horrified and can’t get away fast enough. It’s a real conversation stopper.
if I tell a white lie, I feel guilty and sad that I’m not including all my children.

I don’t like “What’s new?”
It always makes my mind go blank and I end up mumbling “nothing…”

I don’t like being asked what I do for a living because my job is such a convo killer. Every single time 😂

I’ve never been asked why I’m single and without kids but I don’t enjoy it coming up in conversation. My mum died last year and I dread family coming up in conversation now.

Also really hate when people ask if I have family meaning if I have kids. Like of course I have family but I’ve just not birthed any of them.

I have a job that no one understands. I love it and I’m very enthusiastic to explain but have learned most people think it’s dull as fuck or just have no idea what it is (including my mum who couldn’t comprehend why I needed to go into work during the pandemic - I work in a hospital but not clinical). I now just say admin in the nhs - it’s just easier.

Answer nothing since last time...

hiw do you spell that…in relation to my name. I must have spelled my name out thousands of times in my lifetime and I’m still only in my 40s 😔

This is why, if you must be a nebby twat, something like "tell me about yourself" is a least-worst way to do that. It's up to the respondent to decide how to reply without having to choose between "conversation killer" and "lies".

I'm really sorry for your loss, and almost as sorry that we live in a society in which the neurotypical majority have collectively decided that "politeness" looks like routinely putting people on the spot about painful life events upon first meeting them.

Are we supposed to walk around never asking anybody anything. In case they've had any kind of problem whatsoever? That's lunacy.

Er, I have been asked personal questions that I did not want to answer by people that were not neurotypical.
Lets not make this into a NT vs ND thing. People that are either of those things can be insensitive.

"Tell me a little about yourself" leaves it up to them what to share.

When I'm walking around, I'm not asking people anything, apart from maybe "do you know when the next bus is due?" or "you wouldn't happen to know where the staff have moved the ketchup to this week?"

People's actions, not words, show who they are. People lie with words all the time. Why would I rely on words to get the measure of someone?

Genuinely been asked if I couldnt be bothered.

How many siblings q for me

No I dont think so. People ask because theyre interested and its how you make conversation. I see the thread as just sharing the question you dread, other person wont know that and thats obviously fine!
Although why dont you have kids/partner etc is not ok
For some people a more open q will be welcomed, for some its a nightmare. I wouldn't know what to say!

Work colleagues - How was your holiday? Can't be arsed to say more than 'great thanks'

Husband every week - What time is the Tesco order coming? 'The same day and time it has been for last 10 fecking years'

This would be my answer!
It's so awkward, people seem personally offended when you say you're just not that interested in music