What normal question do you hate being asked?

[timple]

Maybe not a normal question but to me it's anything to do with my first relationship. It's come up many times in different ways.

I was on a Hen do and we were playing games and it was 'whoever lost their virginity the latest has to take a shot'

It was me, I was 19 and it wasn't consensual. It was an abusive relationship. So I don't know whether to count that or the sleazy boyfriend I had right after aged 20.

It comes up very occasionally 'have you ever dated a scotsman?" Yes, my abuser but I can't say that so I just lied and said no.

"How old were you when you had your first relationship?" again the dreaded question.

I asked a lady who was telling me about her son the other day how many kids she had. She told me that just one as her other had died.

I’ve literally just had this conversation with my ds but I hate it when I go back to work after annual leave and people ask if I had a good holiday. It’s one of those stock questions and people literally don’t give a stuff if you did or not. In fact anything like that really ‘good weekend?’; ‘good holiday?’ When you know they aren’t really bothered. I’d rather that people didn’t bother asking.

There’s a chance that I’m just a grumpy git though.

“So, what have you been up to recently?”
Totally harmless question but my mind just goes blank when faced with an open question that requires me both to remember what I’ve been doing and then select something that the other person would find interesting.

I was taught when I was young that it was bad manners to talk about myself. It's partly that. Partly the crippling shyness that means I've often found talking to people difficult - when I was younger if I had to speak to anyone in any situation i had to rehearse it in my head over and over. And this intense feeling that I need to keep my inner self private.
I've had a late life diagnosis of autism which for me helps to explain my difficulties with social interaction but I still deflect any questions about myself by asking one instead.

What hobbies do you have?

None…I don’t have hobbies! I barely have time or energy to eat most days 🤯

I’ve actually tried to imagine what my hobbies would be if I had any…and I’ve no idea 😢

That’s an extremely English way of asking where you are from….

I absolutely hate that one. I'm mixed race, very mixed and people often see what they want to see or they just assume I'm Asian. Nothing wrong being Asian, I am part Chinese and not British born. But still...

Id rather just be asked what my ethnicity is. Don't beat around the bush. Just ask.

This made me laugh because it’s always the hot topic in our team come 3pm. We must all be very food obsessed 😁

I used to work with a black man who had Jamaican grandparents. There was one particular woman we knew at work who would ask him on a weekly basis where he was "originally from", and he would say Bristol, because that was actually where he was conceived, born, and grew up, and he had never actually left the UK, let alone be from outside of it.
She also used to refer to black kids as "darkies".

When I was kid there was woman that had a mixed race kid she would shout at him come on sa....
Glad for the most part that language fell away as every day common words.

Should add vv unusual for NE Scotland early 7os.

What’s happening? What’s occurring? What’s new?
Mainly from colleagues who just want to start a conversation but how do I answer it? Nothing is happening, I’m sat here doing work, what do they mean??? Nothing is new either, did you want me to tell you about the new mug I got the other week? Argh!

Another one with an accent who feels so exposed if someone calls me out on my accent! Often in a knowing, superior way too. Where I spent my childhood is by far the least interesting thing about me and it’s very reductive.

Or as a follow-up to establishing my foreignness ‘do you visit ‘home’ much?’ Er no, I have a terrible relationship with my family and you really don’t want to hear why.

Again, I feel like a grumpy git but I’m hardly alone in having a past I don’t want to make small talk about??

I have a distinctive 1st name and 2nd name.

In fact my name is unique as there are no others that I can locate with the combination of my first name middle name and surname. There are others with my first name and second name around the globe.

People say is that your first name or they call me Mr First name!! It annoys me as they obviously are not paying any attention to what I say.

Think of Harrison Ford to give an example.

I hate when dh says "What shall we to do tomorrow?" just before I am going to sleep, it 's not my job to pla everything but instantly triggers planning mode and then residual anger about it.

Also as a teacher I hate it when people ask me how long is left of my holidays...or when do you go back? I do not want to even think about it....leave me alone!

Your friends are really messed up people.I've never been asked questions like that.

The question I hate the most is how are you. You genuinely don't want an honest answer. No one does.So why bother saying it.

Yes ‘how are you?’ Is the most pointless of all the questions

I also hate "why don't you have children?" but, let's face it, it's not a "normal" question at all. It's a rude, intrusive question that no civilised person should be asking of anyone, so there is no need to be polite in response!

Yep, it is particularly rude and insensitive.
I think asking about any sort of assumed life "milestone" is the same... like why are you not married yet?

My younger sister is married. I have never been. I had relatives at her wedding ask me why I was not married. I had one particular knobby aunt say I was going to be next. At my grandad's funeral, I told her the same 😅

I hate being asked what I do for a living.

I have an amazing career that provides me with an amazing lifestyle, but it’s one of those jobs that everyone has an opinion on.

I hate almost all basic normal questions.

"What do you do for a living?"
"Are you married?"
"Do you have kids?"
"Do you live alone/with anybody?"
"How many years have you lived in (my) country?"

I also seem to ALWAYS get asked "who are you travelling with?" whenever I mention I'm travelling.

I'm a very private person, and I don't like people knowing about these particular aspects of my life. I find these questions really intrusive and uncomfortable, and feel put on the spot with these questions. I tried to do the "it's complicated" spiel instead of giving answers, but people are friggin' relentless and won't stop asking - often in different ways - until they get their answer.

Oh, I also hate being asked how much my things cost. Like, if I show someone a new bag or piece of jewellery, and I get asked "how much did it cost?". Again, I always try to be vague and say "I don't remember". I hate this question, too.

I’ve done the odd cleaning call for clients and afterwards thought I couldn’t do this full time it’s too much !

“What do you know”?

A friend used to ask me that all the time and my mind would go instantly blank. I hated it!

I hate “What do you do for a living?” as well. These days, I have a portfolio career… but I feel like that makes it sound like I don’t do any one thing properly. Also, I stopped doing the thing I trained for because it wasn’t at all family friendly and I was fortunate enough not to be the main breadwinner. But I feel like I failed at that too as I still work close to that field.