To think driving is very hyped up?

[Countbinface39]

I recently passed my test at almost 40. It took me 8 attempts, I'd had lessons on and off over the years and resigned myself to not driving. It was a relief to pass, not because I desperately needed to drive but because of the social pressure.
I am glad I have the option and don't have to do it again, I genuinely believed I wasn't cut out for driving.
There's a lot of hyperbole around driving which didn't help. I had people telling me I'd 'finally get my independence' when I passed. I own my own house, lived alone abroad for years, completely financially independent.
Also 'your life will finally start!' I'd like to think it started many years ago! I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it, I never got lifts. I paid for ubers etc. But that's hardly the same as someone giving you a free lift!
I think a lot of people project their own experience onto you- they're maybe thinking of being 17 and relying on parents to get anywhere.
Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!
Someone even said my partner must 'have the upper hand' in our relationship because he had a car, which is ridiculous. People work as a team, you could apply that logic to anything, people who earn more, etc.
Anyway, rant over! I've got myself a cheap little runner that gets me from A to B, that's another thing some people comment on, if it's under 10k,15k, whatever it's going to fall apart the minute you get into it. More nonsense, i think the stress of being the only non-driver got to me, i felt like it was a very normal part of life I'd never get to do, but I'm glad I've got it.

I dont care about what car I drive but I absolutely would miss not being able to drive at all

This isn’t about taking the occasional taxi though - it’s about driving.

Outside of work I perhaps get a taxi a few times a year. I don’t go anywhere normally.

I grew up going all over the country every weekend with my parents but don’t feel the need to step outside my house if not necessary now.

Does that apply purely to children or are non drivers not very knowledgeable or curious?

@Anarchy99

don’t feel the need to step outside my house if not necessary now

That's a very unusual scenario, i.e. not feeling the need to step outside your house! Not normal/mainstream at all.

@Anarchy99 I think overall not curious because they cut things out if their lives they cannot get to. However interests are around what they can get to. In a country area, that’s not very much. You’d be spending a lot of time on a bike or cadgjng a lift. Something local may well suffice as it did in my grandparents day, but they didn’t know what else was available and certainly could not get to it. So yes, it’s limiting without a car and I’ve certainly noticed it limits conversions. Eg dc learn something at school, but it’s not enhanced with a visit to anywhere so knowledge is reduced and I think adults have the same issue.

Well I’m not ‘normal’ or ‘mainstream’. I'm ND.

I’m not a child who has to have things ‘enhanced’ by visiting somewhere. I have been to many plenty of museums, art galleries etc in my time.

I have no issue having deep conversations with people.

It’s interesting that you feel that not being able to drive means you aren’t curious. I know plenty of drivers who don’t go to meaningful places or expand their horizons any further than the shops in the next town.

I know on MN it’s received wisdom that if you don’t go abroad several times a year and out to some intellectually stimulating activity every weekend then you are basically a bit stupid. Ironically that is rather a narrow view of the world.

I would have learnt to drive if I had been able. But there are other things I’m spectacularly good at which enhance my life (and that of others) and contribute to my intellectual growth. So I fail to see what I have apparently missed out on.

@Anarchy99 I think if you really want to see more, you have to drive. I regularly read up about something and follow up with a visit. Do this all the time on holiday. There’s all sorts of non curious people who drive - obviously. Driving doesn’t magically make people more adventurous or curious, but it certainly helps enhance what you enjoy and what dc get out of learning. Dc are important in my view. Very.

You don't need a car to access the countryside.

You think that kids sat in a car seat get the opportunity to exercise their curiosity like kids walking do? Or those in a train where parents can give them their undivided attention.

Living in a high-traffic area limits child development:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S221414051630233X

Good for you. Surely you understand that it’s possible for an adult to be curious and always developing without having to visit somewhere as if it’s a school trip?

My life outside of work is about pursuing my passion. But it always makes me smile that people who ‘travel’ are apparently more curious and open minded than those of us who don’t, yet they can’t understand that there are different ways to live.

Whenever I mention on MN that I haven’t holidayed since my teens, I have left the country once and never flown, people always delight in telling me how narrow my world must be,

Yet I understand that people live different lifestyles and that, just because someone doesn’t follow the same path as someone else, it doesn’t make them dull or unable to have a conversation with intelligent people.

Also I don’t need to contribute to fucking up the environment by travelling for my interests so that’s a bonus, obviously 😬

That’s not the only reason. In the area where I live some villages have no train or bus service whatsoever. Others have a very occasional service e.g. a bus service on one day per week.

In some cases there used to be a decent bus service which has gradually been reduced or stopped. So people who used to rely on it are now stuck.

You do where I live- or pay for a very expensive taxi. Buses and trains don’t serve the rural areas here many of which are absolutely beautiful. You’d also struggle to get a taxi or uber to pick you up from there- drop off maybe, but pick up would be unlikely.

Plenty of people choose where they live based on its public transport system only to see it decimated by cutbacks.

I certainly agree that visiting a site beats reading about it in a book or watching a documentary. I could fill this thread up with all of the history I've explored without driving. The site in Sofia where the schism between the Catholic and Orthodox churches happened. Sunken Roman villas in Baiae - did you know that marble was a bigger status symbol than a mosaic back then? These days mosaics are more expensive. The place where George Washington suffered from smallpox in Barbados - using the ZR vans and yellow minibuses there was a thrilling experience. Abandoned quarries in North Wales where equipment and even clothing still remains - I've found the hole in the fence that takes you into the pit that was converted into a bomb store, now that's an education!

By walking, cycling and taking public transport (not to mention staying in youth hostels) you're also far more likely to talk to random people. I learned a lot about life in rural Croatia from a chance encounter when walking alongside the river that forms the Bosnian border. Got invited to lunch by a smallholder, made with their own fresh eggs. He and his mother had to flee the Serb forces when he was three years old. I'd never have met them if I'd driven or flown.

I was staying in Lyon and wanted to travel on the steam train in the Ardèche. If I had a car, I'd have driven directly there, parked, ridden and driven back again. Instead I caught the train to Tain-l'Hermitage and walked across the river into Tournon. There I happened upon a Saturday market. Picked up some excellent cheap wine. The atmosphere was so very French - complete with an accordion-playing busker. Would never have stumbled upon that if I'd driven. It was nice to see whole families cycling to the market too. The French and Italians are more considerate of bicycles on the whole than Brits are.

When driving you exist in your little bubble. Kids don't get the time to process their surroundings, and can talk freely with their parents. When you take the world at a more relaxed pace, unshielded from the world around you, you have time to notice more. It's funny that even Jeremy Clarkson has acknowledged this. When they converted their cars into trains in Zimbabwe he remarked how nice it was to look at the scenery, rather than concentrating on the road ahead.

Sure, there are many rural areas which are quite isolated. If you're just looking for "the countryside" in general however, rather than a very specific place, you can access plenty of it by train and bus, including the National Parks. We do of course have a fantastic network of footpaths and cycle paths too.

If you are interested in ‘places’, I can imagine that is true.

I’m not particularly so it’s not something I feel the need to do.

However social engagement while travelling is one of the many reasons I don’t do it unless I have to. It is the biggest disadvantage of public transport. i loathe when strangers decide to strike up a conversation!

I like having options. I didn’t start driving till about 25 so was very used to public transport (also helped by having to get the bus to and from school from the age of 9).
I still choose the easy option - ie going into the city in peak times I’ll get the bus so I don’t have to worry about parking.
But things like going to the gym, grocery shopping, going out to eat etc driving is do much easier and more efficient.

Plenty of people choose where they live based on the quality of a local school only to see it downgraded by an OFSTED visit.

But then the car is dictating what you are doing because you will need a place with parking. So you will do all of these activities in a big out of town strip mall with parking attached

@PinkMagpie Where doesn’t have parking? I can always park! The joy of not waiting for a bus in the rain!!! It’s wonderful.

That’s great if so.

I know my situation is not typical as I live in London. There are buses every 5 minutes and most of the best restaurants don’t have parking. If I needed to park I would be driving out to a suburban business park and going to Frankie and Bennie’s

Also for security reasons I prefer not going alone to a dark car park at the end of the night

I live in a village with nothing, no shop or pub and no school. Not driving would kill
me. It’s my life. Some towns I would not fancy waiting for a bus!