To think driving is very hyped up?

[Countbinface39]

I recently passed my test at almost 40. It took me 8 attempts, I'd had lessons on and off over the years and resigned myself to not driving. It was a relief to pass, not because I desperately needed to drive but because of the social pressure.
I am glad I have the option and don't have to do it again, I genuinely believed I wasn't cut out for driving.
There's a lot of hyperbole around driving which didn't help. I had people telling me I'd 'finally get my independence' when I passed. I own my own house, lived alone abroad for years, completely financially independent.
Also 'your life will finally start!' I'd like to think it started many years ago! I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it, I never got lifts. I paid for ubers etc. But that's hardly the same as someone giving you a free lift!
I think a lot of people project their own experience onto you- they're maybe thinking of being 17 and relying on parents to get anywhere.
Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!
Someone even said my partner must 'have the upper hand' in our relationship because he had a car, which is ridiculous. People work as a team, you could apply that logic to anything, people who earn more, etc.
Anyway, rant over! I've got myself a cheap little runner that gets me from A to B, that's another thing some people comment on, if it's under 10k,15k, whatever it's going to fall apart the minute you get into it. More nonsense, i think the stress of being the only non-driver got to me, i felt like it was a very normal part of life I'd never get to do, but I'm glad I've got it.

I'm with you OP.

Driving is a necessity for lots of people because of how many of our environments have been designed, and that's all. It's not necessarily an essential life skill.

I now live in a town where driving is seen as "default" despite it being a small, walkable place. It's disconcerting.

For me, freedom is getting somewhere under my own steam!

Cars are always the default for so many people, it’s crazy. My next door neighbours are constantly popping out to the shops in their car multiple times a day - the shops are down the road! And why does no one seem to have a banger anymore? I dread to think how much car debt most people have!

Op I’m with you. Those arguing that without driving , they couldn’t have done —-insert thing here—- Yes. You could. It may have been a harder task. It would be less convenient. Take longer. Cost more. But you could have done it. But that is an example of how dependency is so easily fallen into with driving and cars. People quickly fall out of the habit of other forms of self sufficiency. IMO it is a better life skill to be able to properly navigate public transport, to read and walk maps, to learn to manage these systems across different countries(which usually involves developing communication skills, minimal language development, pattern recognition etc) is of greater value societally than learning to drive, renting a car and cracking on alone. That’s not to say that driving isn’t a form of freedom and a very good skill to have. But if my children could only develop one or other skill- it would be the public transport navigation skill over driving.

I had lessons in my 40s but there is no way I could have passed a test. I have AUDHD and a dangerously appalling sense of direction.

People on here get really angry about it though.

I live in a small town and work somewhere with offices over several counties. I can travel to any of those offices completely independently.

But you can do all those things as well as being able to drive , it’s not either or , in the same way as people who drive still walk places and cycle

After having no car for years, having a car is amazing and life changing!

But it’s always assumed that anyone can learn to drive (certain conditions excepted of course) when that isn’t the case.

I realised that I could have ended up having lessons for years and years without passing my test.

I feel safer too in the car. Spent many a night trapsing round in the dark or on public transport which can be creepy eg isolated stations at night.

I can't imagine life without a car. So many things which would either be much more difficult or impossible. I think I'd be really depressed actually.

Depends on your lifestyle I guess. I only go to places work related so it makes no odds. I can’t imagine a scenario where it would have a major impact on my life.

It would probably be depressing being able to drive and then not, iyswim. But if you have never been able to, it really isn’t a biggie.

Passing my driving test in 1992 was the best 'qualification' I ever got. It's also my proudest achievement, beating buying my house on my own or getting my professional qualification. I have so many great memories of being out and about in my 20's in my old VW Beetle, friends in the back, going to the beach, driving to London in the days when I could park round the back of Oxford Street and pop into Top Shop :-)

These days though, the traffic/ problematic parking/ yellow box junctions/ congestion charge/ ULEZ etc make driving less fun but my car is definitely an essential part of my life. I'd be lost without it. I should plan for a time when I might not be able to drive but for now still enjoy the freedom my car offers me.

I use a bike trailer for moving heavy/bulky things. If I had the need, I would invest in a bakfiets which can take very young kids and other items in the bucket, older kids can ride their own bikes. Electric assist would mean that hills and weight just aren't an issue.

I imagine that the kid with the trombone is probably old enough to get themselves to school independently.

Between a fifth and a quarter of the households in this country live car-free. This will include many families with kids.

You've missed off the cost of actually buying the thing in the first place. I'm guessing that it wasn't a free gift and that it has depreciated since.

I bought a fifth-hand Fiesta in 2018 for about £1500. I was about to start a new job, shift working 35 miles from the flat I was renting. I couldn't have afforded anything more than that without finance (going into debt for a depreciating liability is not my idea of financial prudence).

A year later, I put it in for an MoT and it needed two tyres replacing, plus something else (possibly the windscreen washer reservior, I can't remember exactly). A few weeks later, a nail goes through one of the brand new tyres in a place that meant replacement rather than repair. Then a few weeks later, when going to work in the small hours one morning, I went gently over a speed bump and the rust which was holding the rear end of the exhaust onto the bottom of the car let go. Trying not to wake up the entire town at 3am with a car that sounded like a boy racer was quite a challenge. By this point I had moved to within a few miles of my job. So I rebuilt my cycling fitness and just before the MoT ran out I sold the car for £300. Never looked back.

Yes, I needed it for that time when I was living too far to cycle and starting shifts at a time unsuitable for public transport. As soon as I rearranged my life so that I didn't need it though, it was just causing me stress I could do without.

But I don’t think running a car is unaffordable if you can afford international travel.
No, but if the average cost of running a car is £3.5k, that's an extra solo holiday or two I managed to afford every year with the savings.

It's interesting that people are arguing that not having a car limits your life (and there is some truth in that). Yet those same people probably wouldn't say the same about owning a house. At this moment in time I am slightly wishing that I was still renting, because you can just hand the keys back and move. Instead I'm having to faff around making the place ready for selling or letting so that I can go off to Canada on the IEC scheme. Come to that, having kids seriously limits what you can do in your life, but there won't be many people on here who would fess up to that.

Driving is great but it's stressful and expensive

Taking the train means you can just stare out the window

It is, they just don't know it!

For someone.who thinks it's all a load of overhyped codology, you've certainly devoted a good deal of brain space to it.

Sure it gives you options - that’s freedom for you - options! People with no options have no freedom.
I can see why it seems like an anti climax though - 8 attempts is a lot and learning over such a long time. My friend passed her test decades ago - she never really drove much after passing - so despite passing her test, she still can’t drive and is too scared to try now. She’s got by on relying on her partner who died last year - her options are more limited now. Call it what you like - she can use Ubers of course and that might still be cheaper than getting a car but it still feels more restrictive somehow.

If I did drive, it wouldn’t change anything though. I wouldn’t go anywhere that I don’t go now and it would cost a fortune.

I have a car but can’t remember the last time I drove it - 4 weeks ago maybe? I walk or cycle locally or get buses and trains and taxis as I live in a city and driving in it is tedious. But it is so useful to go off hiking or to rural places which I love and I use it mainly for that. I do think driving gives you options and freedom, yes. But you don’t need to drive for everything.

I am 45 now. Passed at 30 on my seventh go. I do think learning a bit later in life means the car isn’t as entrenched in your life as it might be if you pass at 17.

Living in an urban area it doesn't give you a huge amount more freedom than public transport. So yeah, not really a big deal if you are a city dweller. I've personally always loved the independence of it, and have always owned my own car. As a young woman, even in a city, it did give me a sense of freedom and I enjoy the act of driving. It was seen as quite a male domain when I grew up, so I always felt it a feminist act to own a car, which now feels quite old fashioned!

Sounds like you don’t need to drive then.🙄

Theres a couple with 2 kids around here who don't own a car (suburb with okay-ish but not great public transport - mostly parents have to drive). They recently were interviewed for the local website about how great it was they could save money, save the environment great example for their kids etc etc. Everyone was commenting how wonderful they were, drivers offering them lifts etc.

However they did admit they 'sometimes' had to ask people for lifts with the husband moaning that some people 'don't want to even drive an extra 100 metres for us.' I know the husband vaguely through work and hes a pretentious twat and there was an interview in our industry magazine where he was asked about his ideal world and he said 'a city with no cars and just bike lanes, I hate SUVs and people who drive them, in fact I hate cars but I s'pose we have to cater to the fat annoying thick people who drive them.'

I was quite tempted to post the link to the local website where all the 'fat annoying thick' people could see!

Neither of my DC will be driving as neither feel comfortable learning but my life would have been different without it. I lost my mobility for a couple of years and would have struggled without my car, it was the difference between being sat at home and being able to go out as I couldn’t get to the bus stop, station etc and the bus takes twice as long as driving where I am, Also I have problems with my sacroiliac joint, my car seat at a certain angle with cushion accommodated this whereas a bus or train seat wouldn’t.

I can walk again but have joint problems still some days and my car is really important to me. I drive an automatic with regenerative braking and can easily do this when my foot is swollen and I struggle to walk. Depends very much on individual circumstances.

I passed first time over a decade ago.
I drove for two weeks then have barely been in the driver's seat again. I didn't know how to put the lights on but figured it out at 6am in December, nor how to put on the winder wipers. It was so windy, the car was hard to handle. I couldn't hill start one morning. It all took a toll on my confidence. It was too easy to get in and have my partner driving. I actually enjoyed the lessons but changed instructor midway and the new guy was horrible. He's the main reason I have driving anxiety, which is mental considering how long ago I even seen him! My original instructor and the one I went back to was great. I wish I had the confidence I used to have before bad instructor took over.

But driving genuinely would be life changing for me. I have PTSD and feel so trapped in the house. I'd have the dogs out so much more, I'd cook more as I'd have the ingredients in ten minutes as opposed to an hour round walk to the shops. I'd love to drive, I can drive... I know when others are in the wrong when I'm in the passenger side, I just don't trust other drivers and I can't test whether I'm still anxious as I don't have anyone who will take me out/have time to try again. Maybe one day when my DH isn't working away anymore...

"I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it,"

That's a typical town/city centric view. Now think what you would do if there was no public transport, no taxis would come out or if they did it was a minimum of £30 each time and the nearest shop / town / work was at least ten miles away. In the middle of winter when it's dark early and again by 3 pm, pissing with rain and blowing a hoolie, how would you get anywhere?

Driving is not hype. For many hundres of thousands of people, not just in this country, it is a critical life skill. It's really not that much of a stretch to work that out, you just need to think about how other people live, rather than focus on yourself.