Visitors turning up unannounced on a Sunday evening. WWYD?

[ShorterMumma]

I'm so embarrassed, someone turned up at my house this evening at about 7.30pm.
The house snd I are an absolute state.

I'm moving bedrooms with the dc, theres stuff everywhere. I'm absolutely exhausted from decorating, work, being a single parent of 4dc.

I am embarrassed but also annoyed as this person could have texted but decided to surprise me.
They know I hate uninvited visitors.

My ds said I should have kept them on the doorstep.

Should I have ?

WWYD?

Definitely would and have done. Theres only so many hours in the day and a willing worker will not be wasted in this house.
Try it - you might like it !

But what if you don’t want to see them? You don’t have to just accept what people want, you’re allowed to have your own thoughts and wants.

I hope they’ve learned something today OP. I’m sorry that was stressful for you, I wouldn’t be impressed at all.
7.30 on a school night visiting anyone with 4 littles?! They clearly didn’t use their brains.

So annoying op..My In laws did this all the time often on a Sunday evening when I was bathing the kids or when we were eating dinner always the most inconvenient times.. no warning no phone call no text nothing
I couldn’t stand it I had twenty years of it eventually we moved a long way away

In this day and age of WhatsApp, it’s really rude to turn up unannounced. It takes seconds to send a quick message to say that you are in the area and would love to stop by if you are free.

Oh god, I absolutely hate this and you have my sympathies, lol. My fella was good friends with his ex - no prob with that at all but she and her husband would turn up uninvited and unexpected, fairly often. Ones my other half and I were, well you know, in the lounge and she bloody well knocked on the door. I asked my partner to put a stop to it after that - his friend, his prob.

I now have a policy that nobody comes in without an invite. I use the shy, poorly cat as an excuse!

I’d have said (and have done in similar circumstances): “Oh,hi! I wasn’t expecting you - sorry I can’t invite you in today, we’re having work done at the moment 🙂”

I think you might be in the minority there!

Amazon show you on the app where they are

amazon would leave it at the door after knocking
After 6 I ask : who is it - through open door
after 7 would keep quiet

Friends don't turn up unannounced to your home either. I would be livid. My home is my sanctuary away from the rest of the world where me and my family like to chill out and not have to entertain unless previously agreed upon. It is incredibly rude to just call by someones home without prior notice.

Absolutely. Anyone turning up without notice, especially in the evening, they don't get in. Friends and family know to give me at least ten minutes of notice.

I would hate this and I wouldn't have let them in. I do quite often say "Sorry, we're really not guest-ready right now".
Unless you have a cleaner, a gardener, your mother doing your washing for you, a big house with copious storage, and a few childfree days each week to get stuff done, then your life must be absolutely wild just trying to keep the household vaguely afloat. I just don't think other people get it unless they are in a similar situation.

It takes seconds to send a text to ask if it’s convenient.

Such strange responses here.
If it was me, and I wanted to see them (a friend or family) They wouldn’t give a shit about my state of disarray.
If I didn’t want to see them like it was a random stranger or something, I would just tell them I was busy sorry.
I really don’t get all this pearl clutching about visitors. Maybe it’s a northern thing I popped round to friends houses relatively frequently and they do to me too. I enjoy it

I wouldn't be embarrassed.
Why would the fact you've had a busy weekend, be embarrasing ?

Like @miaCara , if it were a good friend or a sibling or someone else close, i'd have said "Ah, great, I'm shattered. Can you give me a hand shifting this bed" and made use of the extra pair of hands.

If it were someone who wasn't physically able to help, I'd have not let them in and said - "This is a really bad time. It's Sunday evening and I've still got furniture / boxes to shift before dc can go to bed so I can't stop now I'm afraid. We'll have to arrange a time to meet up soon. Hope you have a safe journey".

I have a friend who often does this but to make matters worse comes round the back of the house which leads into the kitchen. The kitchen always looks like a bombs hit it. She always expects to come in. If I do it to her she leaves me on the doorstep!

I would have answered, and explained we were right in the middle of something.

Your DS was right - not answering was an option.

You don't have to let her in. She sounds very rude.

I must be odd, I would just say 'come in, excuse the mess, I will put the kettle on'.

Yes but what if we don’t want to see them.

I’d be well fucked off if anyone rocked up to my house with no warning.
Especially today, a) I looked horrendous (blaming the heat!), b) house was a tip (heat) and c) I was in no mood for casual chit chat (permanent weekend state of affairs)

Absolutely unacceptable in this day and age. The rage I feel if someone turns up unannounced is quite something. It’s really a me problem because actually if my house and I were just in a fit state for visitors at all times then it wouldn’t be so much of an issue but unfortunately that’s not the case. I like just chilling out at home with joggies on and no make up, I don’t want people seeing me like that. Ditto with the house, people say friends/family shouldn’t judge but the reality is that they do.

“I’m sorry, I’m rather tied up just now, so I can’t invite you in.”

I would either invite them in for a cuppa or I'd say it wasn't convenient.
A friend would understand either option.
I would not be embarrassed or distressed or rage or anything else - maybe a little miffed that they hadn't contacted me earlier as that might have given me a chance to arrange my evening so I could more easily chat to them.

It's extremely rude to turn up unannounced and throw someone's plans into disarray
Text first