My Dad married a woman twenty years younger, he will likely die before her. Does that mean I am unlikely to inherit?

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I think it does doesn’t it?

DH’s parents divorced and both married significantly younger partners. His Dad died and left everything to his wife and second family. His mum will be leaving money to him via the new husband’s will but the new husband is our age (don’t think she’s thought that through!)

My parents are leaving everything to my brother as they have basically controlled his entire life and that’s his payout. He’s 50 and still has to run when my bullying father lifts a finger. I’ve just accepted that there won’t be a nice amount of cash coming to me in the future. I’ve just got to work for it. Hey ho. I wouldn’t mind but all the parents were retired by 50 and have had amazing retirements, holidays, lovely homes etc. I’m tired and just wish they’d pass a bit of their luck onwards.

Oh give over 🙄

Yes it sounds like a foregone conclusion to me tbh .

my grandfather married a woman 15 years younger and they were married for 28 years. The second wife cared for him in his old age

his will left her living in the house and half his estate to her and half to the people of his family he want to inherit his money.

The second wife became ill and died just 4 years after he died.

The house was sold and the proceeds were divided between his surviving step daughter & step grandchildren (from his first marriage, so they go their share of their deceased mothers inheritance, finally) and his daughter had predeceased him so that portion went to his granddaughter. He left equal portions regardless of whether they were step or blood related

Off topic but did another thread start on this when the last one filled up? I’m invested!! Or nosy. One of the 2 😂

It’s because some posters are obsessed with money and they don’t like to hear of people potentially getting money they’re not. They spin jealousy as virtuous disapproval.

I think it’s hard to guarantee you’d keep this promise. What would you do if your husband died first, and then you met and married someone else, who also had children, who you became close to, and ended up in a similar situation?

Exactly.

Ignore the arseholes on the thread. Money being passed down from parent to child has existed across time and cultures. It’s normal for families to want to keep wealth within families. Nearly all parents want to support their children in this way. Most people would experience it as a rejection if their parents didn’t. That’s normal.

There are lots of people on Mumsnet who are isolated or have poor relationships with other people and I think that shows in the bile of how some reply to threads.

If you have a good relationship with your Dad, ask him. It’s normal to want to plan if he is intending to give you any money.

This was why my bank manager told me not to open a joint account with my late husband - his children would have been entitled to a portion of my savings if I had done so.

We were married 27 years and I was his carer for around 10. This impacted my earning capabilities (though I was the breadwinner) and I'd have been in dire straits if I'd lost my savings.

I confess that I didn't make a will at that time, since I knew that my house, savings and pension would automatically go to my husband and it would be needed for his care if anything happened to me.

My Dad married a woman 17 years younger than him and they had 3 children together. He did die before her and everything in his estate went to her (as you would expect).

When she dies it all goes to her 3 children, nothing to me and my older sibling from his first marriage. And, WEIRDLY, they expected us older 2 to be absolutely fine with that! . My step mother rang me up to tell me about a year before he died he was obviously too cowardly.

i think it’s worth talking with your Dad. He may have already made a will (if he made it before he was married then it’s now invalid). He may think his wife will “do the right thing” but unless it’s written in his will it won’t happen.

My DH and I have recently changed our wills and how we hold our house so that in the event of one of us remarrying (after one of us dying) the half from the deceased person will go to the kids but with a right to continue to live in the house for the other spouse.

This is what my father did. He married someone else (32 years younger than himself). She and my brother have the right to live in the house for the rest of their lives, so it will probably be my children who will benefit from the inheritance. I find that a great comfort.

Your poor mum! What an awful man your dad was. I hope your mum got a good divorce settlement so that she can live comfortably.

@LindorDoubleChoc These men stop caring about their first family don’t they? It’s upsetting and they are, to some extent, overtaken by their new squeeze. They want it, they get it. As an issue earlier, no fool like an old fool. They are not capable of love and are told what to do. It’s sad but it happens a lot. Second wives rule the roost!

TBF it is an odd think to wonder… my Step Mum is 13 years younger than my Dad I haven’t sat pondering about inheritance 😂

From your updates, I think it would be a good idea for you and your brother to have a conversation with your Dad about the future.

It would be useful to get clarification over issues such as POA, next of kin, wills, funeral/cremation arrangements, finances of long term nursing care needed etc etc. Having these issues discussed and out in the open can avoid an awful lot of stress and upset when times get difficult.

I would sell it to your DH that a discussion about his affairs would help his wife later on.

What a breathtakingly rude and obnoxious answer from @WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing

Well it’s absolutely not, because it entirely depends what is in his will. As I said upthread, my dad remarried someone much younger and his will is set up so that both I and his new wife inherit (if there’s anything left to inherit!) according to his wishes.

When my dad died everything went to my step-mum. That was 16 years ago. I didn't question it. She's 82 now and she will probably outlive me!
I am in her will (split between me and my step siblings) but obviously if she needs to release money in the meantime for care home or whatever then there probably won't be anything left.
That's also fine- I don't begrudge her that - she made him happy and I'm a grown up and make my own money.

Yes, all very well, but it’s very unfair to disinherit your children, unless there’s a valid reason, like estrangement, which is not the fault of the parent.

Personally I think men who remarry, and leave everything to the new wife, or don’t bother to make an explicit new will, are shits.

In the case of intestacy, though, AFAIK there are rules to state who is entitled to what share of the estate.

@lessglittermoremud My friend didn’t think either and got £0. I’d start thinking if there’s a lot of money involved! It seems to make a difference when men walk out on their families. They just shrug off dc it seems. It’s deeply unpleasant for the dc.

What a nasty, judgemental post @Aluna . Maybe they're up for the graft because they love their DH and they believe in the "in sickness and in health" part of their wedding vows. Maybe some 'dump' their DH in a care home because they're physically unable to care for them, not because they're less invested.

Yeah you guessed it, I'm a younger second wife. When the time comes, I'll provide whatever care DH needs, whether that's at home or in a care home. I'll likely be doing that while working full time running my business btw. I'll also only inherit one third of his estate and potentially have to sell our home immediately after he dies, or wipe out a significant proportion of my savings, to buy my SD out. The same SD who only ever shows any interest in her father when she wants something, and by something I mean money, and who will certainly not be up for any care responsibilities.

@BerryTwister and @Aluna Obviously you don't know me (and it definitely won't apply to all relationships) but no I won't remarry, I really love my stepchildren, my DH isn't naive, and I've always been the higher earner/had more assets in our marriage.

You say that as though this proves that the woman was a gold digger. However, given that he could’ve protected your interests even after marriage, it’s more likely that she just realised that he wasn’t fully committed to her.