My Dad married a woman twenty years younger, he will likely die before her. Does that mean I am unlikely to inherit?

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I think it does doesn’t it?

Because you may want your spouse to inherit and have enough funds for their care so they don’t have to rely on the whim of their step children.

I know people are being a bit snippy with you, but if you were in France not the UK you plus your siblings would have a right to 50% of your father's estate automatically, and I think Germany in similar, so it's not as outrageous a thing to think of as people are pretending.

It isn’t grabby. Such a typical MN response. If you have any kind of relationship with your father a perfectly reasonable thing to find out. There’s no guarantee of course - could all be swallowed up in care home fees - but it could make a difference to your future and that’s worth knowing about, while at the same time living your life and not relying on future wealth.

You should never rely on inheritance. A close friend of mine was relying on it and her parents had to go into full time care.. it’s all gone. However I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder about it. If he’s made a will that says she and you get half each then you’re fine.

Absolutely this

Wouldn't she inherit from him regardless of her age?

Instead of asking us or chatgpt the only person who really knows the content of their will or their intentions is your df. Ask him.

Take comfort op that you won't need to caretake your df if he needs it, his younger wife will be prime position for looking after him. So there's that.

this post comes suspiciously after a step mum posted about her DH's daughter hitting the roof when she discovered the house wouldn't be hers. Are you that stepdaughter?

Every time anyone asks about this, up pop the sanctimonious people who would be perfectly happy to see their family assets built up by both parents handed over to someone who has only been part of their surviving parent's life for a short time and who then leaves the money to their own family. It is an absolutely normal and reasonable expectation that if your parents have any assets at the time of their death, once they are both gone, the money should pass to their children or grandchildren. This is what will happen when my Mum dies and it's what both she and my Dad wanted. This is what I want to happen when my husband and I are both dead. This is what the vast majority of people want.

Of course nobody has a right to inherit anything and many people won't because their parents never had any money or it all had to go on care costs. However, where there is money, if there is no will the intestacy laws say who gets the money, and, surprise surprise, children's interests are protected because Parliament recognises that most people want to provide for their children and grandchildren as well as their spouse.

In England and Wales the spouse or civil partner gets personal effects and the first £322k, which of course in many cases means they get everything. However, if there is more than that the amount above that is split - the children get half of it.

In Scotland Gov.uk says:
The husband, wife or civil partner gets the house up to a value of £473,000. They’ll get a lump sum of £473,000 if the house is worth more, and may have to sell off the property.
They also get:
furniture and moveable household goods up to the value of £29,000
up to £50,000 in cash
a third of the rest of the estate
The children will get two-thirds of the rest of the estate.
If a son or daughter has already died, their children (the grandchildren of the deceased) will inherit in their place.

This is what it says about Northern Ireland:
The husband, wife or civil partner keeps all the assets (including property), up to £250,000, and all the personal possessions, whatever their value.
The husband, wife or civil partner must survive the deceased by at least 28 days to inherit.
They also get one third of the rest of the estate.
The remaining two-thirds are shared between their children.
If a son or daughter has already died, their children (the grandchildren of the deceased) will inherit in their place.

Similar for me OP.

My Dad wasn’t a great Dad, left when I was 2, saw me regularly till I was a teen, then stopped visiting due to wife number 3 not liking kids. We communicate by letter and occasional phone calls.

He’s on wife number 4 now, who’s very nice, but they live a long way away and I rarely see them. He’s very comfortable financially, and gives quite generous cash gifts to my kids for birthdays/christmas, and I’ve always imagined he’d probably leave us a fairly large sum in his will.

But it’s only recently dawned on me that as his wife is 20 years younger than him, I probably won’t get a penny, and she could easily outlive me. I’d like to think my kids would get something though, when she dies, because she has no other relatives at all. It’s possible my Dad has put something to that effect in his will, if such a thing is allowable. I have no idea.

No I don’t know about that.

To clarify a couple of things. Parents are divorced, my mum is still alive.

dads wife had a good job and a house but sold the house and moved in with dad. I’ve no idea how she has managed to not work for twenty years. She is 58 and dad is 80.

I think he will have a will but I also think she is very influential and will have let him know her thoughts on it. I would not want her to not get the house of course.

they have so many holidays they must be doing okay.

A friend was in a similar situation and wasn't bothered about the house or money but there were some sentimental things she wanted after her father died - a small piece of furniture that came from a grandparent, photo albums from her childhood, that sort of thing. It was tricky because the relationship with her stepmother had deteriorated at that point and initially she refused anything. It was sorted in the end and hopefully you'll avoid the situation as you get on well.

Posters are hypothetically virtuous about other people’s money. And some don’t like to hear of anyone getting money they’re not. 😉

As sensible posters have said, talk to your dad. His estate will go to his wife unless he intentionally stipulates a portion to you in his will.

Younger 2nd wives can go either way when it comes to care: either they’re up for the graft and save a lot of money on care; or they just dump him in a home because they’re less invested.

Yes, chances are you will get nothing.

My paternal grandfather remarried a woman who was the same age as my father. While my grandfather was alive, they agreed and there was a joint will saying that the assets (including the family home they lived in, that my grandfather bought outright with his first wife - my grandmother) would go to the surviving partner, then would be handed down equally to his children and the nephews of his new wife.

There was no hint of bad blood at all, everyone welcomed his new wife into the family and she seemed happy. But as soon as my grandfather died, the new wife promptly cut us all off, changed the will to leave my father and uncles a token pittance so they had no argument of being forgotten, and left everything else to her nephews.

I hope she was worth it to my grandfather, because if there is an afterlife then he will be facing the wrath of my grandmother...

This all depends on your relationship with your dad. Is it something you can raise with him as a worry for you?

If he wants to ensure you receive an inheritance from him, he needs to make a will with a solicitor that places a specific share of his estate into trust for you. So for example his share of the house (which he would have to see was specified as Tenants In Common rather than Joint Tenants on the deeds). He can take advice about how to protect any inheritance that he would want to pass on to you.

Me and DH are very open about our arrangements as we both have children from previous marriages but none together. We wouldn't want to see any of them get accidentally shafted for lack of a proper Will.

I'm the second wife in this situation and have no children of my own. We've set up mirror wills where everything passes to the other initially, and the surviving spouse wills everything (if the survivor doesn't need care etc) to my stepchildren. This works for us and we've communicated it, but obviously relies on trust that this will definitely happen, which it will in our case.

You should ask your dad if you are worried about this. He's your dad and he loves you. But as with some previous posters, I'm not sure anyone can rely on an inheritance anymore. My very elderly parents have nothing to leave and we help support them (when they'll let us), but I have friends where everything their parents had has gone on at-home or residential care costs. That's the reality now I think, for people with assets. And it's hopefully buying them slightly better care than they would have otherwise.

Which is all well and good, but some people stick their heads in the sand and refuse to face the fact that nobody lives forever. If you have anything to leave, you need to consider what's going to happen to it after you die. It's not always going to be an easy decision but if you decide not to bother and leave no valid will people you love may lose out and people you don't love and who may not deserve an inheritance may benefit.

Much the best approach is for people to be open about whether they've made a will, who the executor is, where the will is stored. They may not want to say what's in the will, but it would be kind to prepare family for any surprises.

Also, this happened to my DH and his siblings who received nothing from their dad due to remarriage and no will. It was a shit show.

He may have written a will that allows her to live in the house for the rest of her life then it will go to any children he has? That's what my Mum has done with hers, even though my stepdad is older than her. I'd be open and just ask him up front has he sorted a will out yet - especially given his age. Just say he needs to be prepared and express funeral wishes etc. I left it too late having that conversation with my Dad and it was horribly stressful when he died.

I haven’t RTFT so apologies if this has already been mentioned, but I’ve always understood that an existing Will is automatically revoked when the testator remarries.

It might happen or he might drop dead and you meet someone else. In which case his kids get nothing. It’s quite naive of him.

This is no comment on you - I don’t know you. That’s just the intrinsic drawback to setting up wills this way.

Came to say this! Use the POA and sorting out your own finances/will/affairs etc to frame the conversation (which I can totally understand is not an easy one).

Also think it's perfectly natural thing to wonder about!

Why wouldn’t you want her to have the marital home that she’s lived in for 18 years? Was it your childhood home?

for arguments sake if the life insurance were more than the house value and you had the hypothetical option of the house or money, what would you take?

i’d consider it this way. He’s significantly older than his wife, a lot of his care would fall to you children if she weren’t there, or he’d be in a home if you weren’t able to support at the level required. When he passes you want her out on the street?

I'm a younger 2nd wife. We have mirror wills (so everything goes to each other on first death) and DSC are named in my will (as well as my own DC). If he dies first, the DSC will a) have to wait until I die and b) have to keep their fingers crossed I don't change my will to exclude them. (I have absolutely no intention of doing so, I love my DSC).

Your DF's and DSM may have a similar set up but you have no way of knowing unless you see the will.

I don’t get the outrage about asking. Most normal parents want their children to inherit. I certainly would. There are ways of protecting your spouse and ensuring your children inherit accordingly. It just takes proper planning.

Its not an awful thing to ask and 99.9999% of MNers would be lying through their teeth if they said they had never thought of this subject and/or they would just serenely say "well it was their money" if their parents left everything to the stray cat that visited them 😂😂😂