If you inherited money, would you give some to your partner?

[Dilemm]

If you came into money, would you give your partner a wedge?

Not living together, you own your home and work a lot, made savings and pension, he rents, more cavalier attitude to going to work (public sector so gets paid)

Both in fifties

Both have dc but not joint.

No, not with that set up

Would depend on how much I inherited and how long we’d been together as to whether I’d even tell him tbh.

No I wouldn’t if whoever left you money wanted to give it to a stranger they would have been listed in the Will it was given to you for you.

No, not in the circumstances you’ve quoted. I might pay for us to go on a nicer than usual holiday though.

Nope, wouldn’t even tell him about it - your finances are absolutely none of his business.

100% agree with this.

Under those circumstances, no.

We’ve had inheritances and they go into the family pot, but it doesn’t sound like you’re there.

I might pay for some joint treats like a holiday or event.

No.

I didn't give any to DH but I did invest it in our family home to improve our children's lives. More fool me. He kept his inheritance and spent it on his hobbies. That was one of the proverbial straws.

No you don’t have shared finances, don’t live together so no.

He’ll no. I didn’t even share mine with my DH. I paid for holidays for us and some house repairs. And spent lots on our DD. But I kept control. Much to his chagrin.

A boyfriend I didn’t live with, no.

my husband or partner who I lived with, yes

Not in that situation, no.

Dh and I have been together 16 years, 2 dc, live together, everything shared etc. He works, I don’t, due to disabilities. When my Mum died we used the inheritance to pay off our mortgage and used what was left over for a once in a lifetime type family holiday and we both had a smaller amount £2k ish each to spend on something we really wanted - dh got a dental issue fixed. Rest into savings etc.

Not in that situation, where he is a boyfriend rather than a partner. I'd pay for a few treats. Would share with a partner I was already sharing money with.

I’m glad I asked, this is very reassuring

I was feeling a bit guilty

I’ll never have shared finances with him; we are far too different

Im also a bit wary because he’d happily accept it, I think

Boyfriend just sounds weird as we are old !

I would assume he wasn’t a stranger to whoever died as he is her BF. But as they don’t live together or share finances, I agree with the rest, it is her money

If you don't live together to my mind he's more of a boyfriend than a partner. As you keep separate finances and homes I'd say you're under no obligation to give him any.

I didn't give my husband any cash as such but did buy him a new car with some of my inheritance and also we could afford to go out more because of it. All academic now as he died a year ago after a short illness (cancer). I'm very glad I treated him when I did - you never know what's around the corner...

No chance if not in a cohabiting long term or marriage situation.
maybe a fancy meal, a nice gift or shared weekend away depending on how much money you have been given

@CrotchetyQuaver I’m sorry, and believe me, I get the never know what will happen thing

If he was my husband I think things would be different, but I worry about being taken advantage of and his ease of accepting money

Absolutely not and I found it a bit concerning that you think he would accept money from you, what kind of self respecting man in his 50s would think that was ok. Treat him to a nice holiday if you like, something you can both enjoy with YOUR money.

It’s a lot of money. Inherited by default

I think this is why I’ve asked. If he’d be the sort of man to refuse it I’d be a lot happier!!

but it could make a big difference to his life

My DH has inherited a lot of money over the years from several relatives and at no point has he handed over cash to me to spend on myself. I have benefited though in various ways from holidays and a nicer car etc than we could have afforded otherwise. He also paid off the mortgage which enabled me to retire at 55. In your situation I wouldn’t be sharing anything specifically- I might pay for a dinner.

Nope

Don't do it.
I gave a wedge to my DH and bitterly regret it. I feel it's one of the stupidest things I've ever done.