If you inherited money, would you give some to your partner?

[Dilemm]

If you came into money, would you give your partner a wedge?

Not living together, you own your home and work a lot, made savings and pension, he rents, more cavalier attitude to going to work (public sector so gets paid)

Both in fifties

Both have dc but not joint.

OP, does he know about the inheritance? I know you said it had come to you by default.... and if he does know, does he know how much?
In your circumstances, and from what you've said about his attitude to money, I'd be giving him limited information about it. Make the money work for you, not him.

It would go in our ‘pot’ we don’t separate money !
late 50s married

Nope not in your circumstances. My husband would benefit by me paying off the mortgage and if it was a lot then maybe a new car but I wouldn’t donate a chunk of money to someone I didn’t live with.

You could pay for a nice holiday if you are feeling generous.

No not at all and wouldnt divulge too much financial information to him neither.

Not in those circumstances no.

DH and I have both shared inheritances with each other, but that’s a very different situation.

In your circs, no I wouldn’t. In my circs, 55, adult children and married for 26 years, it would go into the family pot.

Only if married

Agree with pp - I wouldn’t even tell him how much in your situation. Perhaps a holiday though if it’s a significant amount and you want to treat him.

Probably not, if we didn't live together. I inherited money from my Grandmother a couple of years ago. I did use a chunk of it on the mortgage, bought a cruise holiday, kept some for myself and put the rest in savings. As the mortgage is in both our names and he went on the cruise with me i suppose some people could consider that giving it to him but it all benefitted me too.

Not a chance

Mine yes, yours no.

Absolutely not. He’s in his fifties and still renting and has a cavalier attitude to money? Keep things casual with this man OP, any man who would happily accept money in these circumstances is not to be trusted.

He did not ask. I think he knows that would not be the way!

I think this hits the nail on the head.

Because of long and boring reasons, I tend to feel responsible for everyone and everything, and think I should save them 🙈

I am also naturally generous, so it’s hard to know what’s the right thing

In your situation no, although may pay for a shared holiday away depending on how much I enjoyed their company

Not in your circumstances no. Me and Dh have been together for over 15 years, obviously married have a house and business together so in my situation I would share ofc.

I wouldn’t dream of giving another adult money, it’s infantilising. If we were married it would go in the family pot but that’s different.

Depending on my circumstances and the amount, might pay for a them to join me in a holiday I wanted to go on if I wanted their company. I might buy them a more generous gift for birthday or Xmas, but I wouldn’t transfer money to them.

No, his circumstances don’t match yours. You don’t live together or have joint DC or finances. What reason would you have to give any to him.

No full stop . I might buy some holidays for the partner etc together but I wouldn't just hand them cash why should you ? I wouldn’t even give it to my husband never mind someone I'm not even married to or living with

No, I wouldn’t even say.

As others have said, not in your situation.

In my situation - long married - I still wouldn’t give my husband an amount directly, but it would indirectly benefit him anyway as I’d pay a larger share for joint activities, or any necessary house stuff.

I would spend some on him, yes.
But give, no. Why would you?!

With that set up no. I’m married and live with my husband so what is mine is ours and vice versa. In that situation of not living together I might treat them so something depending on how much I’d won but otherwise the money would be mine alone.

With your set up? Absolutely not.

I inherited when my parents died and immediately gave half of it to my husband to reduce my tax liabilities. It’s still ‘our’ money though.

No