The anti-brag thread

[SardinesOnButteredToast]

Not quite a TAAT, but inspired by another mumsnetter being understandably fed up of listening to people bragging. I thought - in the interests of balance - maybe we could have one thread where we have a good anti-brag. Light hearted, in so much as that's allowed (wink).

I hate my front door. It's a nasty off white uPVC and it's got the kerb appeal of a sofa in the front garden.
None of my very loved and lovely children are in the least impressive objectively (nor was I at their age).
My cat has taken to punching me in the face at 6.15am many mornings (not a little bat, and actually really hard smack with claw). This makes me feel resentful and angry.

I'm sure they've seen it all before :P

I'm unambitious. I used to be career focused. But now am happy to stay where I am doing the same thing over and over again.

Me too
I actually wanted to start a thread about this as I feel guilty for feeling this way when I'm well-educated etc. Maybe I will if I'm motivated!

My entire house is in desperate need of decorating and just looks a bit shabby no matter how clean and tidy it is. Although the utility room is usually an absolute shit hole because that’s where I hide everything

The garden hedge was too tall for me to cut when EDH moved out 5 years ago, I tried once but it was traumatic. It’s now out of control and the outside now looks awful but I physically can’t cut it and can’t afford to pay for a professional 😭

Sometimes I pretend I’m really busy and “haven’t seen my phone” when actually I’ve got it on DND and am actively avoiding certain people

I think that post is a reaction to certain people boasting about their kids on SM - their DC are always ultra intelligent and very sporty. I don’t think she is intending to be unkind about the children themselves.

I've wee'd in the Pyrex jug in the kitchen loads of times (from urgent necessity!).

The first thing you see as you enter my house is the bottom step carpet which the cat has completely shredded, underlay and all. It looks awful but I don't really care.

My DS isn't remotely sporty but he is spotty.
(also clever and kind).

Either way it's nasty and catty. And the DC may read. If you can't say anything nice say nothing at all.

I love that that poster is pretending it's nice to call people "catty" but nasty to say they're "not sporty" 😂

Me too. We’re going through a restructuring and have to apply for new job titles. I just read the JD for what is essentially my current job and I don’t even want that!

@WorstPaceScenario
I like a subtle fake tan but I'm lazy and only do from the bum down and nipples up. I look ridiculous naked. 🤣🤣

We could be twins!
I think there are lots of us bog trolls out there.

I regularly tweezer weird thick curly hairs that sprout between my boobs. I’m equal parts awed and disturbed by them.

I do the same and every time I look in the mirror I think of Belted Galloway cattle.

Same

I recognise myself in many of these threads! It’s very comforting!

Peak MN. 🙄

God forbid anyone says anything but glowing about sports kids.

I won't pay off my mortgage until I'm 66. Would have spread it longer but the bank would only allow it to go until DH is 70 and he is 4 years older. We have no plans to pay it off early.

Subsidence?

Returning to this thread has really lifted my spirits this evening - so comforting to know that we‘re all normal and living with lots of similar things going on!
some have really made me laugh, some I’ve identified with and some are a bit sad so 💐 for those posters.
Great thread op.

My bathroom light broke yesterday. Today we half attempted to fix and made it worse. Its ok tho as its light later outside.

When it starts getting dark early again. We will probably use a torch for light to shower with as I already know we won't have fixed it by then.

I mean, that says more about you than the poster 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
Attacking sporty people 🙄🙄🙄😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Exactly, such a weird take 😂

I thoroughly enjoyed the belted Galloway comparisons 😂

We showered for several years without a light in the bathroom, just left the door open to get the light from the hallway. Also there's no heating in there at all, another reason to leave the door open even though we have a working light now.

This is my favourite thread ever on MN.

Another feature of our inherited bathroom is luxury underfloor heating.
Unfortunately the previous owner installed such luxuriously thick floor tiles over it that the heat never reaches the surface.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

My bathroom needs renovating! It’s an utter state! Getting replaced next year.

Cat brought 2 rats to my back door, 1 dead and was chasing other one. That’s all I need. Thank god I don’t let her use the cat flap! Plus we had bully cat terrorising mine but he seems to have gone for now. My Apple pc has died! Am debating getting another one. I have air book Mac and iPad. First world probs the latter.

Oh and my diamond shoes are too tight! 🤣 that’s a joke!