The anti-brag thread

[SardinesOnButteredToast]

Not quite a TAAT, but inspired by another mumsnetter being understandably fed up of listening to people bragging. I thought - in the interests of balance - maybe we could have one thread where we have a good anti-brag. Light hearted, in so much as that's allowed (wink).

I hate my front door. It's a nasty off white uPVC and it's got the kerb appeal of a sofa in the front garden.
None of my very loved and lovely children are in the least impressive objectively (nor was I at their age).
My cat has taken to punching me in the face at 6.15am many mornings (not a little bat, and actually really hard smack with claw). This makes me feel resentful and angry.

Maybe I need to set up one of those ring doorbell camera thingies

Mine has to be the only kid on the planet who doesn't like sweets ffs

We have a door, just inside the front door in the hall, that's never been replaced and we've been here 30 years nearly. Its the first thing you see coming in the front door. I kept meaning to paint it but actually I dont even see it now..

Or form a queue around the block?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Everything in my house needs fixed and updated. We rent and never ask the landlord for anything because we love the house and where we are. But it is falling apart, possibly literally given the most recent discovery 😅

I am not skilled at any of my “hobbies” for example sewing, art, hiking. I’m actually quite rubbish so I don’t want to say they are my hobbies

I thought that was what valance sheets were for ! 🙄😁

I have various bits of furniture and storage boxes (nice ones!) which hide parts of my home which need errrr attention and one day.....one day.... 🫤😏

I noticed so much dust in my house today with the sun shining in. And still I sat there watching the snooker and didn't clean it! I'm a lazy cow 😂

My daughter doesn’t like any fruit. At all.

Front room carpet is a right stained mess but cannot fathom replacing it. Juts put rugs down.

Photo!

Omg this made me giggle so much! Please, PLEEEASE share a photo 🙏

Our kitchen floor is horrible coloured ceramic tiles and has various chips, including a big one from when I accidentally dropped a glass 20 years ago.
Some of my skirting boards are hairy because I can't be bothered moving things to clean them. What's more, I don't care!

I have just put the dishwasher on with a mixture of clean and dirty dishes in it because I really couldn't be arsed to unload everything.

Other threads would be against what I'm about to say but.......

Dick pic required if you please !!!!

We need a photo!!

I had an arthritis flare up in my knee and need a stick to support myself. If I bent down I would probably overbalance and not be able to get up unaided. In the meantime anything that gets dropped on the floor stays there.

I have found my people!

Our bathroom sink doesn’t drain properly; my husband has to periodically siphon it off by inserting one end of a piece of rubber tubing into the pooled sink water, placing the other end of the tubing into his mouth, inhaling to create some suction and then quickly taking the tubing out of his mouth (before it fills with bilge from the sink) and pointing it toward the toilet, letting the sink water flow into the toilet bowl.

I drink instant coffee. I have a coffee machine, but I honestly prefer a good instant. Done with no fuss, quick and can add exactly the amount of coffee and water, to the temperature you want.

I was with you until your complaint about the cat 😂

I love that this is automatically your husband's job! 🤣

I seem to have lost the knack of making a decent omelette.

I love this thread! My sofa cover is so full of holes that I just put the entire seat cushion inside a duvet cover. It’s quite a nice colour and easy to wash so it’s been like that for years now.

We have the opposite problem. Our bathroom sink has one of those fancy lever operated plugs (inherited) and it's stuck open. We tried to fix it but it's complicated and we are lazy. The easier option was to buy a small cheap washing up bowl. We did that 18 months ago as a temporary measure.

I was carrying a load of shopping back from the supermarket in my rucksack.

Bent down to pick up a conker (it was a pretty one) and the weight of my shopping rolled me over like an upended turtle. Passers by helped me up or I'd still be there.

The wallpaper on my staircase has been stripped, ready for redecorating, for at least 6 months. My record on this is 18 months so no rush...