Been asked to leave yard because I’m a SW

[YipYapPaddywack]

I’m a discreet sex worker and have been for 4 years. I do very well and pay all my tax etc.
My family are aware of what I do, my eldest (17) is semi aware but because iv done it so long its just a “normal” job, in the fact I go to work and come home every day.
we have a pony who we have owned for 2 years, last year we moved the pony 5 mins away from home. It’s been fabulous, my daughter loves it and had made lots of friends there, but we usually keep ourselves to ourselves.
The YO texted me last week and said that circumstances are changing and she’s had to ask a few people to leave, as I was one of the last to join she said we had to leave. Obviously daughter was/is very upset. Turns out she hasn’t asked any of the other 5 people who joined after us. It’s only us. It came out yesterday that somehow someone on the yard found out what I do and told her, and she obviously doesn’t agree with what I do so has asked me to leave.
The worst part is, they are treating me now like scum. Literally won’t speak to me or look at me, has ignored all my messages, and is making me so anxious that I’m refusing to go down and my husband and daughter are doing it. We’re looking to move asap but everywhere that’s close is full. I’m so stressed. Obviously I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it secret forever but I wasn’t expecting for my child to be punished because of something I choose to do behind closed doors.

I feel sorry for you, and people shouldn't be looking at you as 'scum', but a human being.

That said, if it's a private yard it's going to be very difficult to exercise any kind of right to use it, if what you do offends the clients/ owners. Hoping you find another yard where people mind their own business a bit more.

Sorry what's an Sw? I thought Op meant a social worker initially but considering it goes on ' behind closed doors', i don't think I'm right.

It sounds very hard for you but it's quite naive to say you weren't "expecting your child to be punished for something you do behind closed doors". You must be aware that not everyone is open minded about these things and it's inevitable your children will bear the brunt of it when people find out.

I would get your pony moved asap anyway. I wouldn't want to stay on a yard where I knew people were talking about me or with a YO who disapproves of me.

Sex worker

The length of time you've done it won't make it a 'normal job' to many, sorry and its a bit grim your child knows about it. I know that's not the cool girl attitude but it's what many think.

Literally says in the first sentence

I can only assume that they think you have different morals to them and are worried what other things you do that might not align with theirs. Maybe they think that you breaking social norms in one area may translate to another. Eg you are untrustworthy, risk taking, drug taking, not afraid to break laws etc. It’s unusual for someone to want to do sex work who doesn’t have other boundary issues, or addiction issues etc.

You've been very lucky OP if this is the first time you've encountered this. But who was the other person, one of the punters? Surely you'd have recognised them?
How hypocritical of them to talk about you...

Totally missing the point of the thread but you have a DH who's okay with this SW too? Crikey, I'm amazed by what I read on here as many wouldn't cope with that as a job for their DW. Anyways! I do hope you find somewhere soon for the pony, sorry you're in a predicament with it right now.

She doesn’t know exactly what I do, just that I do something many would disagree with, but it’s not illegal. She and her siblings have been allowed to have a lovely life because of their parents working hard.

I also thought you meant social worker and thought that was a bit harsh.
I'm struggling to believe that this has never been an issue before and your dc know what you do for income.

I'm sorry that this has happened. I don't think you'll have much legal comeback against a private yard, but do check that they've adhered to whatever they contracted to in your T&Cs.

I wasn’t expecting for my child to be punished because of something I choose to do behind closed doors. I don't think society is ready for this, and I'm pleased but also surprised that this is the first time it's happened.

Is there a way that this could spill over into your wider life? It might be time to review however you are advertising, and how much damage this could do to life outside your job. Do all of your children know? Have you got plans with them for what they'll do if their friends find out? It's one of those things that people may have very strong opinions about, so it might well impact on their friendships and lives quite strongly if it becomes public knowledge.

Oh "sex worker", i see. More shocked your daghter knows what you do...
Well, i guess the yard doesn't want certain clientele using them and that's their choice. They have a right to their opinion and if they feel uncomfortable taking the money you earn as a prostitute etc, they are again entitled to feel that. If you keep it as quiet as you think you do, they wouldn't know. Change your 'job' or accept that a lot of people won't see what you do for money in a favourable light. That then affects your daughter directly and as an aside, it's hardly a good example to her is it, her seeing you selling your body for money?

Sure. 🙄

No idea who it was, a woman not a man.

Boundary issues or addiction issues?
I suppose I break the norm then lol, I have neither of those problems what so ever thank you. Been married 15 years and have a pretty comfortable life in the countryside. I have never smoked, drink probably twice a year and have never taken a drug in my life.

Livery yards are a personal fifedom for yard owners so nothing you can do about this.
There might be many things a yard owner wouldn’t like and as the yard is often at their home I would say up to them which customers they choose. Your work is controversial and may well be unacceptable to many people, goes with the territory I would think.
At my old yard one of the young girls was a pole dancer. Yard owner didn’t care as long as the pony was well looked after and rent paid.

Honestly? It's just grim, OP. I know you see it as a proper job, but it's grim. It's against many people's values, and as you have a husband as well, wow. I understand why people look down on it and why they might not want you around. Sorry.

I think you are being really, really naive to think that there will not be any repercussions from this, either on you or your children.

I'm not a cool girl either, I don't think sex work is "work" or a job like any other. I would never shame or belittle women or men who engage in it, I reserve that for the punters, but neither would I support it as a lifestyle choice.

I thought you meant social worker when I saw your title. I thought it was a bit harsh!

Thanks but I worked it out when I read the Op properly!

Who said I was a prostitute? You do realise there are many other professions in the sex industry.

and even if I were a prostitute, my husband isn’t and he’s the one who pays for the livery. I pay more tax a year than most earn.

You were hugely unrealistic if you expected anything different tbh.

A lot of people are going to judge you. They're going to view you a certain way, say your husband is your pimp and god help your daughter if other kids find out because that is going to be shit for her.

That's just how it is. Sex work is seen as something deeply shameful.

Hold on, iv never said i sleep with men for money. You’ve assumed that. That’s not what I do.

They may be concerned you'll take your whole self to work, and do whatever it is you do on their property. Still reeling from the doc at my child's hospital filming their sex work at the hospital!

Well no, not being a user of the sex industry, nor someone who offers careers advice on it, and certainly not being about to Google “jobs in the sex industry”, I imagine that most people have no idea at all about the career paths available in this specialist sector….