Any advice for someone who doesn't know one end of horse from another. How expensive is this likely to be?

[Spero]

Grateful for any advice, just starting on my research here for next year.

I am not remotely interested in horses, but my daughter is. Her only dream is to have a pony. We live within half a mile of a riding centre/stables so I was wondering if it is feasible to think about getting her a pony which could live at the riding centre and she goes round a few times a week to do whatever it is you do with these animals.

Once she is in secondary school in 2016 I expect to free up about £500 per monthin child care costs.

So if I can take the hit on buying a pony (I assume a few thousand or depends on what you want?) I assume if there is space, he or she could live at the riding centre if I pay for it.

do you think £500 a month is feasible for livery, saddles, whatever else? Tack seems eye wateringly expensive from the little I know.

i have heard of people sharing or loaning out a pony - would this be a good idea in case the reality of a pony doesn't quite meet my daughter's dream? I think she is quite realistic has she has been having lessons for two years and been on pony camps etc so she knows the score.

Ps the most important thing is to find the right pony.
If you get a good, safe one, the whole thing will be a joy. If you get a sod, it'll just be loads of money spent on having an awful time.

PPS my field ponies take up literally ten minutes a day to look after. Check they're ok, check water.

Comp horse would be around 3 hours including riding.

Again, a whole host of options in between.

Good point YouBastard

I think someone said upthread that the pony will need to be ridden every day...no it doesn't, unless you're competing, of course. Ours is ridden 3/4 times a week, which is fine, I think.

Good point YouBastard

PAHAHAHAHA forgot id just name changed - unfortunate choice perhaps when it comes to quoting

It really made me laugh! Sorry for hijacking your thread, Spero !

IME if you ride any horse or pony every day you create a rod for your own back as it then gets so fit it has to be ridden every day. A native pony with plenty of turnout will be fine if it's ridden 3-4 times a week.

Gabilian - I was talking worst case scenario. Those of us in the know will pick a suitable mount for our children. Unfortunately those not in the know like the op can be talked into buying the pretty highly-strung pony that does need riding every day. I've seen it many times over the year and dealt with the fallout

She is 10. So the buying a pony thing is for the FUTURE. Not next week. I am not insane or some fluffy headed idiot as AuntieDee seems to be hinting. I am certainly not going to spend thousands of pounds on something without thoroughly checking what I am getting into.

With regard to the appropriate age, I can see I will have to revise upwards from 12 to 14 or even older as she will have to be doing most of it herself.

I do however have a horrible sense of deja vu from my various run ins with dog owners on mumsnet- you cannot leave a dog for even half an hour! are you mad! no one who works can ever think of owning a dog etc, etc, etc, etc.

I do understand that there are many different types of horse and many different types of things you can do with them. We will need to look for a nice steady pony who doesn't need masses of exercise and it looks like we are going to need to share him as we can't guarantee being at the stables all day every day.

"We will need to look for a nice steady pony who doesn't need masses of exercise and it looks like we are going to need to share him as we can't guarantee being at the stables all day every day."

Sounds like a good idea, Spero. Are there any adult horsey people you know IRL? When the time comes, it would be helpful to take someone experienced with you too look at ponies.

I've been riding for about 35 years and would not go out and buy a horse without taking a more experienced person with me. We can all get a bit sentimental and fail to see things clearly. I've spent several months helping a friend who recently bought a horse, on her own, that I probably wouldn't have touched. Flipping thing nearly put me in hospital a few weeks ago and I now refuse to ride it. They are amazing animals and my boy is the reason I get up in the morning. However, if it goes wrong it can go badly wrong.

That's a good point and could well be a problem - I don't know anyone else who is horsey, I am not sure where my daughter picked this up! But from age of 8 she has been very pony fixated.

What I am hoping is maybe finding someone who already has a tried and tested pony who wants someone to share care/costs. I have seen a few ads like that in local vets. Then if/when we take the plunge to buy I may be more clued up on what to look out for and what to avoid or we will have someone at the stables who will help.

She dearly wants 'her' pony but she does understand this might not be possible, certainly for next few years. And I guess that will sort this situation out - if she is still keen and still riding in a few years then she definitely isn't after a 'toy'.

And whether I am interested in horses or not (not) I am interested in her and what she likes and I think it is my obligation as a parent to help her find her joy, if I possibly can. Obviously not if I bankrupt myself in the process or contribute to making a pony's life miserable.

Well hopefully in a year or two you'll know a few more horsey people Spero. If you can find an instructor you trust they could help select a pony.

Fingers crossed for you. I wasn't able to have my own horse until I was 32, having been pony mad throughout childhood. It was worth the wait.

I think hanging about at the riding stables before and after lessons so she can 'help' a little you can start getting to know people There. A lot of riding schools are use to very enthusiastic girls wanting to hang around and are obliging to an extent.

The last one I worked at had a regular gaggle of girls hanging about on a Saturday morning 'helping out' they didn't muck out, but groomed skipped out helped others tack and untack, they were between 10 and 15 years old. (I'm not saying all rs do this but girls wanting to be around horses is part of the territory)

Start making ccontacts at the riding stable is the best bet.

Oh and the gaggle of girls were there without parents.

My niece is currently learning to ride, on one of my ponies. She's an old sod lady and was retired from competition as not sound enough. So although she can't be trusted for a small child to handle by herself, she is quiet and bombproof enough for her to ride once a fortnight.
She gets her feet trimmed once in a blue moon otherwise no cost to keep (we have quite a bit of land).
Currently having a broodmare treated for corneal ulcers - this could end up costing serious cash, not to mention putting drops in an unwilling patient 4 x a day. .
I don't insure as I have too many. It's not the day to day running of the animal that costs time and money, it's the unexpected.

Sometimes if you get on well with a share/loan pony you can get the chance to buy it later on which is of course ideal (the owner's circumstances can change or their own children might outgrow the pony - lots of things can happen). I've known that happen to a few people, we were even given one that we shared at the weekends because the owner trusted us to give him a good home. We had him for 20 years and did everything with him so massive bargain!
The best thing I think is to find your ideal share arrangement and then just be relaxed and see what happens. Once you are involved in the horsey world it is much easier to hear of good ponies that are available for sale, find an expert to accompany you to look at advertised ponies, all that sort of thing. You are much less likely to make a mistake or be ripped off than if you start off 'cold' as obvious novices. Most people are nice but unfortunately some will see you coming a mile off. I've owned horses for 35 years but hadn't had to search for one through ads until I got my current dhorse as the previous ones had all sort of 'found' us. It was quite a stressful experience. Eventually we were recommended to a local dealer and although dhorse is absolutely beautiful we were rather shocked to find we'd accidentally been conned bought a two year old!

At 10 yo she is too young to care for a pony without adult supervision, and even if the pony is on livery that won't mean that someone from the stables will be there to supervise your DD when she is up to ride. I am afraid I would not even part loan a pony to a 10yo who was expected to cope on her own, and even if the yard did most things, your DD would need to do some catching/turning out, tacking up, riding on her own.

At this age and without parental involvement I would concentrate on getting her more lessons, including stable management lessons, and 'own a pony' weeks during the holidays.

PLEASE will you read the thread. I know 10 is too young. This is a plan for the future.

You said this was for 2016 so she'll be 11 - that is still far too young.

I think that it's perfectly doable at that budget and could work well. The best solution for you would be having a pony on working livery at a riding school, so the pony is used for lessons in the riding school in return for being kept. A local equestrian centre to us does this for £40/week (near Manchester) and uses the pony an hour a day. They have an indoor and outdoor school, so plenty of opportunities to ride after school in winter. Another local livery yard does part livery (where all jobs are done and all feed/bedding is provided) and has two children's first ponies. The parents also pay for the ponies to be ridden by someone else a couple of times a week (keeps them exercised, takes the edge off the ponies and helps iron out issues) - so another possible option.

I don't think that a share or loan is a good idea until you and your daughter are more capable. It's not fair on the pony and no help to the owner, who would still have to be around supervising (most owners want a sharer to help out, a novice isn't usually capable, and especially a young child). I loaned out my DSS's first pony to a novice family and it didn't work well. Luckily I'm an instructor and they had it at my yard, so I could supervise, but I wouldn't do it again.

As for costs mentioned, you shouldn't usually need a dentist, physio or saddle checker more than annually unless there is a problem with the horse.

Honeyroar - a saddle fitter and dentist are advisable every 6 months. It's preventative rather than corrective.

OP - you seem to think I think you are totally clueless. You are. We are trying to educate you. You keep comparing dogs to horses - horses are nothing like a dog. It would be better to compare them to a cross between a dog and a rabbit - needs exercise like a dog, but needs care like a rabbit. Just on a much bigger, and time intensive scale.

It's lovely that your daughter is interested in ponies, but sadly it is a dangerous sport, both on and off the ground and I think you are being unrealistic to expect that she will manage it without adult supervision. Even simple things like tacking up the horse to ride will require assistance from an adult as a child simply isn't tall enough to deal with a pony that puts its head in the air to avoid having a bridle on, or strong enough to do up a girth when the pony is blowing out to prevent this. If this happens how can she ride? Full livery is for the care of the horse - they don't supervise your child.

Please remember horses are dangerous and your daughter has the potential to get seriously hurt if she is left unsupervised as you have been thinking of doing. I really don't think you understand that we are talking about life altering injuries being a possibility. I'm actually a bit concerned for your daughter that you are so dismissive of peoples' concerns :(

honeyroar I also think your prices are very cheap , I'm in the SE ,which I imagine is comparable to the OP ( wilts) and near me you would pay £40-£50 p/w just for basic DIY at a decent yard and full livery without exercise is £120 + per week .

Yes you can pay that in some yards around here for DIY too, but the above prices are for working livery, not livery, so the (BHS) equestrian centre uses the pony for seven lessons a week, hence the discount, and we are talking about a small pony (for a ten year old), so livery is cheaper than for a larger horse. The yard I'm talking about is a lovely large BHS centre. A great place to have a child learn and a pony looked after, so an ideal type of set up for the OP if they decide to go ahead with the pony... I know a mother similar to the OP who got their child their first pony and kept it at the above stable. Four years on they are doing really well. The yard did all the looking after and also instructed, so the pony was well cared for while child and mother learned.

I stand by my comments that it is not usual for a horse to need dental or back check ups more than annually unless there is a problem. Obviously the owner can choose to have it more regularly, but most dentists will book appointments a year later unless there is something that needs more attention.

OP your best course of action would be to go and speak to the riding stables that daughter rides at and finding out if working livery would be a possibility and at what cost. You may find that the riding stables may part loan one of their horses, which may be another option.

I would add that you will find it very difficult to not be involved with a pony as a child's hobby. As my parent's found out 40 odd years ago, it's not something you drop the child off for and leave, its a dirty, dangerous, smelly, extremely expensive hobby that will take over the whole family's life!

Sigh. I am clueless about horses but I am NOT clueless about the time effort and expense that goes into keeping animals as I have lived with dogs and cats all my life.

Yes, I did notice they aren't horses but I am thus aware of the need to feed, exercise, insure, look after during holidays etc etc.

Thanks to all the posters who have helped without being rude or patronising or without bothering to read what I actually wrote.

I am now much better informed about what I need to think about and do.

So if anyone fancies anymore lectures about how clueless and stupid I am, be aware that I won't be in your audience anymore as I think this thread has gone as far it's going to go in terms of helping me.

Thanks to all who did help, this has been really useful. There were many issues I wasn't aware of.

And btw I have just paid out £80 for a body protector - both I and my daughter are fully aware of the dangers of riding - she has been riding for two years and been on three week long residential camps.

So to even hint that I don't care about my daughters safety is really bloody irritating, as I am sure you meant that comment to be.

There are ways of getting your point across without being unpleasant. As a lot of other posters have demonstrated, and I am grateful.

Getting really cross now so will go.

OP I think you are missing my point. Horses are dangerous both on the ground and ridden. I am not being patronising - I just don't think you realise that it just isn't safe to leave an inexperienced child alone to deal with a horse.

I will give a couple of examples (this is the situation that has weighed on my mind throughout the thread)- a 12 year old girl was in a similar situation to your daughter. She loved ponies and her parents (who were not horsey) very generously bought her a pony. They took advice and bought her an ex riding school pony. Now this pony was bomb proof, easy to handle and should have been the girl's dream pony.

The family followed the riding school's advice and fed what they fed. Unfortunately this was a pony that was used to being ridden for 2-3 hours a day and as many as 4-5 at weekends. Suddenly going to being ridden for half an hour a day a few times a week resulted in a huge change in the pony. It went from being a lovely calm pony to being one that was highly strung and too much for the girl to handle - just due to inappropriate feeding and exercise.

One serious incident happened when she was putting the pony into the field. The pony (who was full of beans after being cooped in a 10ft x 10ft stable for over 12 hours) was pulling to get out quicker. The girl opened the gate and the pony rushed through pulling the girl, and the gate with it. The gate swung and impaled the girl between the ribs and she had 2 broken ribs and a punctured lung.

The girl was OK and the management of the pony was changed and the problems eventually resolved but the child went from confident around the pony to slightly fearful to handle it - not a nice feeling for an animal you love.

Another incident was when she was 'having a bit of fun'. She was jumping the pony unsupervised in the arena (a rule that she broke but there were no adults about and she wanted to ride). She couldn't manage to drag the heavy jump wing into the arena so instead she turned a barrel on its side and decided to jump that. Unfortunately the pony child mistimed the jump and the pony got too close and couldn't lift up its front legs properly. This resulted in the pony rolling over the jump, flipping and landing on its neck and back. The girl was unharmed other than some bruising, the pony suffered a broken leg and had to be put down.

I'm trying not to be patronising but you are still comparing horses to cats and dogs - they are nothing alike. The only similarity I can draw is that you wouldn't leave a 3 year old to walk a Great Dane unsupervised? It's a little bit like that.

I think all the suggestions about helping in a riding school are good ones.

I part loan one of my ponies but I would not loan to anyone in your situation and I doubt anyone would. People tend to part loan for a little bit of extra help and a small donation. A child with parents unable to help would not be of any benefit to a loaner.

It's lovely your daughter is into ponies and lovely that you are willing to encourage this but please don't become one of those parents...