Any advice for someone who doesn't know one end of horse from another. How expensive is this likely to be?

[Spero]

Grateful for any advice, just starting on my research here for next year.

I am not remotely interested in horses, but my daughter is. Her only dream is to have a pony. We live within half a mile of a riding centre/stables so I was wondering if it is feasible to think about getting her a pony which could live at the riding centre and she goes round a few times a week to do whatever it is you do with these animals.

Once she is in secondary school in 2016 I expect to free up about £500 per monthin child care costs.

So if I can take the hit on buying a pony (I assume a few thousand or depends on what you want?) I assume if there is space, he or she could live at the riding centre if I pay for it.

do you think £500 a month is feasible for livery, saddles, whatever else? Tack seems eye wateringly expensive from the little I know.

i have heard of people sharing or loaning out a pony - would this be a good idea in case the reality of a pony doesn't quite meet my daughter's dream? I think she is quite realistic has she has been having lessons for two years and been on pony camps etc so she knows the score.

I pay 85 per week for my sons pony, it is stabled at night, out during the day, it is our responsibility to poo pick its restrictive feild, I muck out 3 days a week (the days I ride) and my son does twice. Its a combination arrangement - they will either turnout out or bring in - or both if need be, and give pony its hard feed (it doesn't really need it but is in a yard of competition horses that get hard feed twice a day, so Dpony would turn itself inside out if its stable mates were getting feed and it got nothing) My son and I between ourselves prepare all the hay nets.
Oh and that price includes 1 lesson a week.
Insurance is £450 for the year.

So I think £500 a month is probably doable, depending where you are in the country. We are v close to london.

Not having your own land does not mean you can't get the full ownership experience - my sister and I got our first horses at 12/13 ,we had non horsey parents and we had the horses on DIY livery but stabled at night all year - it was a full on 3/4 times a day commitment but not just for us but for our parents as well - they became 'horsey' parents very quickly so really what I'm saying is that your dd will 'get out' of horse ownership what you as the parent are prepared to put in . My dc had ponies from birth and fortunately they were both put off quite young so all we have been left with is one retired dartmoor pony who is on full livery at a very private yard ( we don't sell on) , I have never replaced my horses as they have died as I do not have the time to commit to them now ( I will stick to the dog ) .

If the success of this venture depends on my involvement then it is never going to happen as I will be unable to find the time - I work full time and am often out of house from early to late. There is no way I will be able (or interested) in doing anything other than stumping up the cash.

So is this only possible if I have a hands on role? Surely not? Once at secondary school I thought I could just let her get on with it - she wants to go after school and I won't be home until 6pm at earliest.

It depends on the yard, whether they are fine her going on for on, a yard I was on at one point, that was fine, though the teenage girls that turned up after school to ride, in reality just rode.....most of the time there mothers did ponies stables during the day.

I doubt full livery can be done for 500 a month and I am not sure that sends the right message.

It really depends how motivated your daughter is. Tbh with all you have said, I would be looking for a share , to make sure she is committed and prepared to last the distance of all that is involved

If she wants to go after school and you can't get there til after 6, remember that it's dark then for a good few months of the year. What does she think she can do at night? Maybe clean some tack, a good groom or muck out if suitable lighting is there but otherwise, not a lot. Also, what about morning feed, muck out, turnout etc - or is that something else you'll pay someone else to do? I honestly don't understand people who get a horse and the pay someone else to look after it. It's an expensive to toy to have when you don't play with it very often...... Part of the delight of having a horse is the relationship you build with it through the whole livery experience, not just having a hack once or twice a week if the weather is nice. Nothing wrong with just riding, but if that's the main goal, then you're better off just sticking to paying for lessons/belonging to a pony club.

Another thing to consider is that your pony may not cope with only being ridden 3 times a week. Some (not all of course) need to be ridden every day or the they become difficult to manage.

It sounds like if you do get a horse if will need to be on full livery (you can't expect a child to do all the work every time they are there - for one it would take forever!). In addition to this you would probably need to factor in exercising the horse on the days your daughter isn't riding - about £10 a time.

Let's add it up - worst case scenario

Full livery - approx £500 a month (can range from £450 to £650)
Exercising - £10 a day, 3 times a week is £120 a month
Lessons - £20 a week / £80 a month
Feed - full livery will cover a basic feed 'extras' will be on top. Let's say £20 a month for a veteran feed and joint supplement (you will probably need an older horse first as a schoolmaster)
Insurance - £50 a month
Farrier - £65 every 6 weeks so £40 a month
Dentist - twice a year at approx £60 so £10 a month
Saddler twice a year (unless you want to pay £££ for physio) at £50 a pop - £10 a month ish
Shows - usually about £10 a class for dressage/jumping or £5 a class for showing. Once a month? Two classes? £20

That works out potentially £855 a month and that doesn't factor in things like replacement tack and rugs that get damaged, riding clothes that are grown out of, the expense of a showing kit that gets grown out of etc.

If you are willing to do it all yourself it isp

Oh I forgot transport to shows - £50 a trip usually.

If you are willing to go DIY and the commitment of an hour in the morning and 1-2 hours in the evening every day then you could cut the budget to about £350-£400 including getting out and about and lessons. But that is a huge commitment and neither you nor your daughter would have enough experience to do that safely I'm guessing.

Alternatively you could part loan a pony for £25 a week ish. She would still have to do the jobs but could visit only 3'times a week and also have support from the owner

Honestly I think you need to put any thoughts of buying your own until your dd is at least 14 , most yards will not want anyone unaccompanied on the yard if they are under 12 and I think 14 is more realistic for your dd to have 'sole charge' as she comes from a non horsey background / family. Sharing might work if you can find someone who wants a weekend sharer or is happy to supervise your dd during the week ( I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone else's child around any horse I ever owned ) .

£500 month is around right for the basics of livery, insurance, farrier and routine vet stuff. From March to October our costs go up by around another £300 for competitions so entry fees and diesel. Monthly lessons c. £50 - 75 for 1 or 2 specialist lessons. Competition kit for DD was probably about £750 in total so showing & cross-country gear. She rides at least 5 times a week including weekends where she might spend 8 hours on a Sat and a Sunday at the yard working.

It has I think been the best thing I could have done for her. She did have a loan pony for a couple of years before she got her own and I would recommend that if you can find one.

Oh upfront costs were 5500 for a flashy Connie including tack and a plethora of rugs. I share a trailer. Stuff for the pony - for example boots, tail bandages, new rugs are c. 300 a year.

that is an awful price for a Connemara pony - had it won HOYS or something?

It was quite special aye ??

ah go on go on go on - love to see a pic ginny!

Op I would first see if any of the riding school ponys are up for part loan. Some riding schools do this, it benefits the riding school financially and your dd gets the hands on experience when it's convenient for you both. Let her do that for a while and rethink longer term when you know she is definitely ready to take on the commitment.

Oh and sorry to burst any bubbles about how girls with horses don't go off the rails..... They can and do IME . Also 16-19 it probably when the most girls give up on promising jumping/dressage /show etc...careers and horses altogether in favour of boys/spending time with friends without time restrictions because you have to leave your friends to go sort your horse out.

But that's along time in the future you sound like you are doing your best with planning and asking for advice.

I'm sure you and your dd will fine what works for you best. As you say, you have a year to plan.
In the meantime could she ask to arrive early for lessons to 'help out'?

I agree to be honest having weekly lessons is not the same at all, if she was really keen she would want to be a 'helper' at the stables and would be there al hours given half the chance.
and if she is not that keen, there is no point getting her a pony.
Twarfface's idea is good.

She is only just 10! You can't be criticising her for not being down the stables all her waking hours - they won't let her unsupervised. She goes to a school with an equestrian centre so she is a bit more aware of what goes on than if she just had lessons once a week.

But I can't afford for her to carry on into the senior school, she will have to leave and is gutted about not having such close contact with the horses - so I am trying to soften the blow for her. She is genuinely interested so I find snidey remarks about 'expensive toys' unhelpful and uncalled for.

But thanks for the clarity of advice on costs. How I spend my money is my business but I certainly don't want to get into something I can't afford and £500 is absolute limit.

Sounds as if it will certainly be best to investigate a pony share/loan and then see if she is still really interested and committed once she is 14.

Blimey, what happened here!

I amd going to stick my head in and say that if you get a pony for a child/teenager under 16 I would fully expect to be part of it yourself as well.

if you can't be or don't want to be then don't do it.

Firstly many yards won't let someone under 16 be there without a adult due to insurance etc etc and secondly I don't believe a child/teen can be fully responsible for a horse on their own.

Forget the chores, you will need to be involved one way or another for it to work well not just a cash machine....plus I had a 'non horsey' parent and I found it devastating that she showed no interest in something that was incredibly important to me - I see all my friends with their kids and ponies and I kind of wish I had it.
Your dd will fully appreciate your involvement!

I had to drag my mum to a show if I went and even then she wasn't fussed :(

Of course I am interested in what she does and likes. But I am not interested in horses and I won't have time to go and help muck them out or feed them. But of course I will come and watch her ride when I can or if she is interested in competing later on I will go and watch and be proud.

I find this 'all or nothing' attitude quite exasperating. As many posters have helpfully pointed out, they have had horses on part liveries/pony shares and it seems to be working out fine without going to the stables every day more than once a day. So that is what I will investigate for my daughter.

if they won't let her in the yard unsupervised until she is 16 plus, she will have to accept that. I simply can't do it as I work full time and I have to work to pay the mortgage.

In the meantime I am sure there are lots of options for her if she really wants to get more involved and we can explore those over the next year or so. I now have a heads up about likely costs/issues which is very useful.

"dont make the mistake of thinking that a horse needs to be flashy and talented - most standard, average horses will happily pop a 1m course and do a walk/trot/canter prelim test to a decent standard. Get something safe and unflappable, even if its ugly or not quite the 'dream' horse that she might be picturing, as nothing takes the fun out of horses faster than repeated falling off, or her not being able to ride with her friends because her pony gets too wound up."

Amen to that. My horse is not pretty. In fact, he is a ruffty-tufftty bruiser. However, when the pretty palominos and flighty ex-racehorses play 'OMG there's a dog/ puddle/ stream to wade through/ sheep/ cows/ person in the hedge' or whatever myriad other bogeymen they can find to protest about, C. is your go-to horse to get them through it/ over it/ past it. He is generally known as Captain Sensible, Uncle C or just The Babysitter. He can also do a damn good Novice test and when it comes to jumping we have a deal where I tell him which fence is next and he pops over it. If he could read the numbers I'd be pretty much redundant.

Whatever you get, whether it's a loan or share or you buy it, get something sensible. Horses are never dull but they can be dangerous.

I agree, if she wanted something 'flashy' I would be suspicious about what was really motivating her but she says she wants a 'kind' pony.

Spero, I wasn't being snidey, I was being honest. You say yourself you know not one end from the other. I do. And I stand by my comment. If she's just ten, and you have no time for/interest in horses yourself then please just stick to paying for lessons etc. Because if it's only her, only few times a week, I can't see anyone that would sensibly want to share a loan pony with her. Wait until she's more independant.

"So is this only possible if I have a hands on role? Surely not?"

Spero I think you're right in moving towards the idea of some sort of part share. A pony is a large animal with very complex management needs. If you get the stable management wrong, for starters you have a welfare issue with regard to the pony. But you also have a welfare issue with regard to the rider. Ponies can actually become quite dangerous if for example they're wrongly fed, stabled too much or poorly handled. None of this is their fault, it happens through human ignorance.

My horse is on part livery. He's my best friend. If I go and stand in the field with him and his equine friends, he'll mooch over to me and we stand together, just chilling. He will choose to be with me, he likes my company. And yes, I do pay somebody else to help me look after him. Horses are bloody hard work. C is healthy and happy and I have a great relationship with him. And if I go and see a friend for a weekend he gets the same care as he would get if I were there and he values that continuity. So don't be afraid of paying for some help.

But to get back to whether you need some input, yes you do. A pony is far too much of a responsibility for a ten year old on her own, however enthusiastic she is. And whilst you can pay other people to help, you will be dependent on their expertise and unfortunately a lot of people are not as expert as they say they are. So yes, try sharing a riding school horse for a bit. And yes, it will be ridden by beginners and you won't have it that much at weekends. But it will also benefit from one on one time with your daughter and knowing that, despite being a riding school horse, there is someone there who cares about it. Horses like to have a human of their own, as much as a human likes to have a horse.

Spero, what about paying for her to have an additional lesson or two every week?

And letting her do the "own a pony" thing in half term/summer holidays, might be an option, too?

That way, she's getting more contact with horses, but it's costing less and isn't taking up too much of your time. At 16, maybe after doing a stint at being a helper, she could get her own?

That might be the best of both worlds. I agree with you needing to be there on her days, even if it's a part loan. I can't recall - if you go ahead, would the pony be kept at the riding school, or would you be looking for a livery yard? Also, can't remember if it would be working livery, and if you get free lessons on a working livery, but if you don't, don't forget to add in the cost of lessons. That would really add up!

We've recently got a pony on loan. He's not shared, and we get lessons free, otherwise we really couldn't afford it. Either me or DH are there each evening, supervising doing the lion's share of the work cause they are soooo slow at mucking out and teaching them how to care for it. There is no way it could work if we weren't as fond of the pony as the DCs are. Infact, if I didn't enjoy, I think I'd end up resenting the pony, and the time it takes up.

I'm not from a horsey family, but rode as a child and have always loved being around them. I wouldn't recommend it until she's older, if it's not something you are personally going to enjoy.

Pm if you want to ask me anything, it can be a bit intimidating when starting out because everyone always knows everything which is unnerving. Or at least I found the anticipation of that intimidating, iykwim!

Riding is a fantastic thing for young people to be involved in.

Mine live out at home and cost around £15 a month tops to keep.

My old horse, when I was competing cost around £550 a month.

There are a whole range of options inbetween.

£500 to keep a child's pony is more than enough, especially on working livery. She also obviously doesn't need to spend every spare hour at the stables.

Horses are a much bigger time commitment than dogs.

Balls. Dogs take up waaaaaaaay WAY more time.