The Sixty Third Republic - as we glide into staycations the DfE whip up anti-school media storm

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www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9755421/A-billion-schooldays-lost-pandemic-Typical-pupil-missed-half-YEAR-class.html

And in other news the DM reporting a ‘billion’ schooldays lost.

mother There was a thread in FWR recently, was that you?

I'd be uncomfortable too. Happy to use the child's preferred pronouns but home need to be aware.

It's a pretty nuclear option but safeguarding concerns should go to governors or local safeguarding team (usually local council). I'd probably speak to DSL and head first if you intend to do this and explain why. I think you are right, it shouldn't be a "secret", that's the first safeguarding rule after all.

My favourite comment on that article is that the summer holiday should have been cancelled. People are actually oblivious.

mother same at my place. I am very uncomfortable about it and have raised it to no avail.

Oh, I see the DM repeating the whole year groups sent home because of one case. Sounds so much more dramatic than one class doesn't it??

I don't believe a single secondary year group in a proper sized school ahs sent a year group home because of one case.

@motherrunner

Morning all,

Off topic but want some advice on something that’s been troubling me for a while. At my school we have a number of transitioning and gender neutral pupils. We call them by their adoptive name and preferred pronouns - no issue with that btw. What concerns me is that parents are not informed. A few are but not all so on reports etc we still have to address them n given name and birth pronouns. These pupils are living one identity at school and then another at home. As a parent I would want to know so I could support my child. I feel complicit in this double life but don’t know how to raise any concerns. Our safeguarding team have okayed all this.

Hi motherrunner, Safe Schools Alliance might have some advice on this?

No @Hercisbackherc, wasn’t me so makes me wonder how many schools this is happening in.

I wish I had the nerve to address the safeguarding team and/or report but the deputy head isn’t the most approachable of people. I know other staff members feel the same. The DM had an article a couple of months ago reporting this very same issue and the parents were appalled. My HoD said I should have sent it to the deputy.

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/.

Happened in a school I worked in. Head teacher said we would call the pupil by the name their parents called them (not the name they wanted to be called). I think this HT might have been going against the grain though.

Nope, not whole school years. Easier at KS3 as they are taught in form groups. KS4 and 5 more difficult due to options and setting etc but still not a whole year group.

@DreamingofBrie

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/.

Happened in a school I worked in. Head teacher said we would call the pupil by the name their parents called them (not the name they wanted to be called). I think this HT might have been going against the grain though.

Thanks @DreamingofBrie

@motherrunner

Morning all,

Off topic but want some advice on something that’s been troubling me for a while. At my school we have a number of transitioning and gender neutral pupils. We call them by their adoptive name and preferred pronouns - no issue with that btw. What concerns me is that parents are not informed. A few are but not all so on reports etc we still have to address them n given name and birth pronouns. These pupils are living one identity at school and then another at home. As a parent I would want to know so I could support my child. I feel complicit in this double life but don’t know how to raise any concerns. Our safeguarding team have okayed all this.

This is yet another reason why I won’t be going back into secondary. It’s breathtakingly dreadful. Hard to understand how society - particularly education - has so comprehensively become detached from reality. My own education was blighted by the dogmatic untruths foisted on me by my religion, but at least it was a religion. This is far far worse.

I believe that the current stance is that reporting something like a child identifying as trans to parents is akin to "outing" them if they were gay, which is something schools are not supposed to do.

Unfortunately, it's impossible to know whether the child's home life and parents would be accepting or supportive and, as such, reporting something like this to parents could end up making that child's life harder or possibly lead to harm (either self-harm or harm being done to them).

As a gay person, I know many people my age who, in their teens, were kicked out of their homes, disowned by families, physically beaten, etc. as a result of their parents finding out. Whilst attitudes in some parts of society have changed, other parts have not.

That makes sense @Iamnotthe1.

Oh I’m going back over 15 years for trips to the pub. Lots would go for one, some would go onto make a night of it. Mostly ended up with the art department.

2 weeks to go.

Mmmm, pate... Pate on toast will be my first post birth meal.

That is, assuming I ever feel like eating again. Thank you all for indulging my pity party.

I see that iam but it is a little more complex as someone is changing name and identity etc..

Not telling parents and them finding out is just as (if not more) likely to elad to a dreadful situation at hoem and with school.

Personally, I don't want to tell parents : my solution would be not to change names until we know parents know . Back a few years ago, we didn't even put different names on our management systems where a child used their middle name, say, by preference (in fact we still don't come to think of it, as I teach one!) I had to get through a whole parents' evening last week without using a single pronoun to conceal a child's secret form their father. That's really not in the job description. It also doesn't sit well wit me that we share stuff about eating disorders and self harming with parents (sometimes against my better judgement), but not this.

The worst situation I was in was last week when a child asked for name and pronouns to be changed. This was done and no one told the teachers!! That was embarrassing.

ps unsurprisingly, hate pate.

Not a pate fan.

My dream fridge would be full of seafood and sushi and caviar and smoked salmon and crayfish........ bit of a theme.

Salty crackers hobnob? I did a lot of sucking on carrs cheese thins during my first trimester I seem to recall.

I think if large groups of teachers, trained in safeguarding, feel uncomfortable with this in relation to children, that’s not a good sign.

Not telling parents a child is gay is very different to being complicit in a new identity.

Yeah and being gay doesn't pave the way to potentially a lifelong dependence on hormones, surgery, infertility etc. This is the trouble with having conflated the T with the LGB.

I can understand that Piggy and I'm not saying that I agree completely with the current advice: I don't.

However, removing a child's ability to, for lack of a better term, experiment with gender expression until after a parent has been informed is essentially removing a safe space for that child to feel comfortable in, particularly if they know that they could never tell their parents without a negative reaction.

For some, especially in the current climate, these changes may well be temporary and something that the child never needs to share with parents. For others, their time in school may well be what allows them to become comfortable with their identity and gain the confidence and security to tell their families.

@TheHoneyBadger

Yeah and being gay doesn't pave the way to potentially a lifelong dependence on hormones, surgery, infertility etc. This is the trouble with having conflated the T with the LGB.

If the change of name and pronoun in school is going to eventually lead to this then the parents would know before any medical intervention happened or said child would be an adult before it happened so parents knowing when the child is 15 would make no material difference here.

Unless what we are saying is that we believe that trans people go down the medical route when they aren't actually trans and that parents knowing earlier than adulthood could dissuade them from doing so. That's a very different conversation.

I think that's schools crossing a line. I don't think safeguarding can happen if there are secrets between and school and I don't think any kind of trust can occur between school and home if parents are aware schools will keep serious issues secret from them. There might also be issues that the school aren't aware of that are important to know eg. that a child has been/is being sexually abused and that is influencing their decision to want to identify as a boy. The school isn't going to look into that whereas for the parents it may be the final clue in a series of red flags that leads to them realising what is going on. Withholding that information is a safeguarding risk imo.

If it’s simply experimenting with gender expression then I don’t see why teachers need to indulge it and if it’s a serious response to mental distress then parents need to be a part of it.

@Iamnotthe1

I can understand that Piggy and I'm not saying that I agree completely with the current advice: I don't.

However, removing a child's ability to, for lack of a better term, experiment with gender expression until after a parent has been informed is essentially removing a safe space for that child to feel comfortable in, particularly if they know that they could never tell their parents without a negative reaction.

For some, especially in the current climate, these changes may well be temporary and something that the child never needs to share with parents. For others, their time in school may well be what allows them to become comfortable with their identity and gain the confidence and security to tell their families.

Yes, all true. I do just think the parents finding out bit is horrific for some/many anyway and made even more horrific if parents think there has been institutionally complicit behaviour when they find out accidentally, as so often happens. It's very very awkward one.