The Forty - Eight Republic - countdown for DfE media agency to wake up

[StaffRepFeistyClub]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

Enemy you may dance on the tables, but any use of chairs to access said tables, will result in a ban.

chocolate

We definitely need a staffroom night out when such things are allowed!

I'm up for shots and dancing.
Maybe not today though!

I assume we'd be allowed a buffet at our night out when Covid is over, but do you think the chair ban is permanent? Some of us are getting on a bit ...

I'm up for dancing. Not on a table though, I'm far too clumsy for that to be a good idea. I'd really love to be able to put faces to names.

Timeturnerplease
*I've now remembered that we have online parents evening on Thursday

What are you going to be talking about? Genuinely wondering - since we’ve been remote for so long now - what I’d say if we had ours next week*

I know. Normally I'd have GO open on marksheet and be looking at their test results, their flight path, whether they were on track and what scores I'd given them for effort, behaviour, etc. Now presumably I need all that plus google classroom open to the right class, student etc so I can comment on remote learning effort etc. My slight panic is 5 minutes isn't long and I can't be being asked why they got a three for engagement 3 weeks ago and going hang on let me just try and look that up for you in such a short snippet. Do we have gaps in between 5 minute slots so we can at least pull up what we need for the next student? And other questions! Let's hope all will be revealed in a bloody google meet tomorrow.

Can I have sambucca instead please? So much smoother than tequila.

@MrsHamlet, Kill or cure, eh? If you get completely rat-arsed, you might relax whatever it is you've done to your back so that it springs back into place.

I also normally have a card with all the appointments on and can at least scribble beside names whether they're on track or below progress, any major issues etc. Currently I don't even know who I'm seeing. Sitting at a computer doing 5 minute slots with different parents back to back for hours sounds manic to me.

Any tips from people who've done this already please?

Good thinking ange
Shooting sticks?

Shots!!! Make mine a sambuca too please.

I have utterly failed to mark the rest of my Yr7 essays. I read a book, had a walk and tackled Mount Washing-ton instead. Now have baskets and baskets of folded things to put away sigh

Huge to all who need it. Pass the Apple Sourz down.

I am seriously struggling to keep track of the alcohol orders here.

@TheHoneyBadger

I also normally have a card with all the appointments on and can at least scribble beside names whether they're on track or below progress, any major issues etc. Currently I don't even know who I'm seeing. Sitting at a computer doing 5 minute slots with different parents back to back for hours sounds manic to me.

Any tips from people who've done this already please?

We’ve had two so far. We were told to ignore engagement and to check that students were feeling on top of work and set them targets. I split my screen in half and had the meeting on one side and then flight path data on the other. If you’re lucky, the system you use will cut parents off after the five minutes I love this part

In other news, I’ve had my first vaccination today. Our local doctor federation is insanely organised and being at risk of strokes has pushed me into group 6.

@chocolateisavegetable

I am seriously struggling to keep track of the alcohol orders here.

A pint of Sambucca and lemonade for me please. Oh, the nights I spent getting drunk on that in filthy clubs at 17.

Or a baileys hot chocolate because I can’t actually manage a pint of sambucca and lemonade anymore...

MrsHB My tips are:
Make sure SLT have scheduled rest breaks.
Have food, drink ready before.
Print data you want to refer to if possible, much easier to leave the parents evening window open and visible all night.
Do not be afraid to end meetings (politely). If you don't need to fill the time, don't.
If you're using school cloud it will just cut you off so be prepared!
You can start meetings late but not they still end at the allotted time.
Don't try and show any work/data using the screen, just speak.
Anything you want to recommend, resources etc email before/after if you'd usually hand to parents.

I think the solution to the alcohol problem is get two of everything in the drinks aisle

That’s great news Herdy did you get a sticker? My husband got a sticker

What the hell has happened to everyone. Sambucca and tequila shots? Whilst dancing on tables?
Sounds like fun but I might have to have vodka. Sambucca is vile and I’ve never been able to stomach tequila since a seriously dodgy student night out.

Feb news Herdy. My surgery have gone like the clappers and done 500 people today! Absolute stars. My CEV sister otoh still hasn't had hers (doesn't live near me), just shows the disparity between areas.

I have never done shots and dancing on tables. I am Posh Bird.....

Also the sensible one who tends to ensure people get home safely.

Shots weren't even a thing in my day....

I don't think I'm allowed shots with cocodamol... Yes I know its Saturday night, and I know it's only 8.15, and I know I'm a boring old fart, but night all! 😴

When I lived on a small island, shots and dancing on the bar and on the tables were a several time a year occasion...
... Although I remember one new year's eve when there were 6 of us on one smallish pub table and broke it!

Herdy great news! Am delighted for you

MrsH that's fine, but I'm also getting 2 of everything from the chocolate isle (or does that count as a buffet?)

It might count as a buffet... maybe put it on the chairs to fox the chair police. If we're dancing on the tables, we won't need them anyway

Definitely DO NOT drink alcohol with co codamol!! Nurse Piggy strongly advises against this.

I have a cup of tea. Rock and Roll.