The Forty - Eight Republic - countdown for DfE media agency to wake up

[StaffRepFeistyClub]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

I'm going at 11 :)
I feel ridiculous... it's nothing compared with being stuck in a hospital bed!!

@MrsHamlet

I'm going at 11 :) I feel ridiculous... it's nothing compared with being stuck in a hospital bed!!

Not you too! Don't be ridiculous - if you're in pain you're in pain, it's irrelevant where anyone else is .... There are lots of people in hospital currently but that doesn't mean you're in any less pain. I'm glad you have an appointment, you deserve to get some help and be in less pain!!!

Orphelia proper put on her teacher voice then MrsH 😂

@SmileEachDay

Orphelia proper put on her teacher voice then MrsH 😂

I know and I don't even have a teacher voice because I teach non verbal children so.... If you think I have a teacher voice on I definitely must mean it !

I used to work with non verbal children. I had teacher Makaton if they were pissing around 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know, and I'm quaking in the face of it :)

@SmileEachDay

I used to work with non verbal children. I had teacher Makaton if they were pissing around 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh I feel ya - who needs words when you can have an epic sad sign...

The graffiti comments made me laugh! DS went to a boys’ school and said that there were cocks and balls drawn everywhere there which was quite different from my own very repressed strict girls’ school (where the worse you got was Sally heart Darren!). Glad to see it’s pretty universal though!

Nice to see the BBC dutifully fulfilling its remit to inform, educate and entertain by solemnly telling us that in Ancient Rome the erect penis was seen as a symbol of virility.
Well, duh.
(I suppose they’re trying to say “It wasn’t just a rude piece of graffiti”. But it was, really, wasn’t it?)

@borntobequiet

Nice to see the BBC dutifully fulfilling its remit to inform, educate and entertain by solemnly telling us that in Ancient Rome the erect penis was seen as a symbol of virility. Well, duh. (I suppose they’re trying to say “It wasn’t just a rude piece of graffiti”. But it was, really, wasn’t it?)

Twas the original bus stop willy

This is so going to out me if anyone on here knows me IRL, but this is my fave ‘penis’ story from my career.

Been a secondary teacher of 20 years but this has to be my most fave moment with a class that was the absolute worst!

Randomly a hippo soft board rubber appeared in my room with a penis drawn on the bottom. I confiscated it but a particular boy heavy Yr 10 class kept asking to see it. One day, when I was writing quotes on the board and each time my back turned the boys would punch each other, I exasperated “stop it. I’m getting penis hippo out and he will be looking at you when my back is turned’. Lad replied, “yeah, with his 3rd eye”. I relied “please leave my class, your education is done as you’ll never say anything as witty again”.

Ignore the bit about how long I’ve been teaching. I had posted it on the Mr P page and copied it from there. Now please don’t FB hunting me 😆

@motherrunner

This is so going to out me if anyone on here knows me IRL, but this is my fave ‘penis’ story from my career.

Been a secondary teacher of 20 years but this has to be my most fave moment with a class that was the absolute worst!

Randomly a hippo soft board rubber appeared in my room with a penis drawn on the bottom. I confiscated it but a particular boy heavy Yr 10 class kept asking to see it. One day, when I was writing quotes on the board and each time my back turned the boys would punch each other, I exasperated “stop it. I’m getting penis hippo out and he will be looking at you when my back is turned’. Lad replied, “yeah, with his 3rd eye”. I relied “please leave my class, your education is done as you’ll never say anything as witty again”.

Amazing!

Someone drew a massive cock in weed killer on the very immaculate front lawn at my DN’s school-it was there for ages!!

I love this mother

My last lot of Y11s - set 3, boy heavy, all 6 feet tall and like a bunch of stroppy pups - noticed there was one copy of AIC that had a cock on the first page.

The levels of excitement that built around “who has the cock book” were ridiculous. I didn’t have the heart to throw it away.

Every so often my DH just ... Draws a cock on his work notes.
I don't usually go into his office but when I do, I often see that he's randomly drawn a dick

The “cock book”.

Tbh I get silly over cocks too. When I used to teach “The Silver Sword” back in the day, I would snort over ‘Jimpy the cock’ and even now with “A Christmas Carol” with ‘Scrooge was much attached to Dick’.

Inspired motherrunner

Ds came in to help me last summer sort out class sets of texts. We had enough copies of a couple of texts that we could throw the worst copies out. Ds was horrified that I had a mental no. of cock pictures vs no. of loose pages index that I could use to pick the copies destined for the bin.

Fresh copies every year at his private school. (And obviously, but your own for year 10 onwards.)

I really need to get some planning done today. I’m soooooo tired though.

I can have one more coffee first, right?

Me, too. I'm determined to have the weekend off. So, work today it must be.

All of my dictionaries have the edges coloured in black board pen to obliterate the knobs. I did once catch a boy drawing a knob on his book... asked why. He didn't know.

I can laugh now but that group would drive me to tears at times.

Another one of my fave moments from that class is a lesson where they had just finished the creative writing section when we used to do Controlled Assessments. A boy had written a side of A4 (in massive writing) and then at the bottom written ‘PTO’. He’s then drawn a picture of him smoking a spliff with a speech bubble that said ‘ha ha fooled you’.

I then wrote on a post it note all the strengths of A criteria with A grading. I then wrote ‘PTO’. On the back I wrote ‘ha ha fooled you, you got a F’.

Morning all.

Bit gutted that it's Friday already.

Going to see parents today. It'll be a week since I've been in school and 2 weeks since ds has been anywhere so we should be safe. Parents have both had first jabs a month ago. It's not strictly kosher but we literally only ever see them once at the end of a holiday and this will be the first time since Christmas. They're calling it an essential care visit because they're mid 70's and my dad is supposed to be shielding again.

Hope your procedure goes well Ophelia. Last one I had was a colonoscopy and biopsies and I impressed them with my drug tolerance levels. Had to have a double dose of fentanyl and gas and air then was able to get up and walk to the toilet when they rolled me back into the ward. Misspent youth in the 90s.

MrsH I hope you get some joy at the doctors. Make sure you explain you're meant to be back sitting at a laptop all day from Monday.

I've agreed to make pancakes. It was how I bribed ds into taking the dog out and bringing me a coffee this morning.