The Forty First Republic - Gav encourages parents to report schools to OFSTED

[SantaAssociationRepresentitve]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

Anyone know any nice, mature, single male teachers?

Swiftly married a member of staff

@MsAwesomeDragon

We have siblings teaching in school too, and loads of staff went to our school. The youngest members of the maths department were taught by the oldest members of the maths department.

Ooooh that's weird. One of our (now retired) maths teachers married a student... and then had multiple affairs with other maths teachers

I'm getting really worried about my DD's teacher - year 4. She is having to do what too many primary colleagues are; teach KW kids in school AND provide remote learning AND mark it all AND contact parents AND do a morning video to introduce the work.

I know her professionally as well. She is a ball of energy, fantastic at her job, loves what she does and the kids love her. Now all I see is that desperate mixture of exhausted, scared but resigned to it all. She's only young too (not that it makes a difference btw, just that resilience comes with experience sometimes.)

I don't know whether to offer to help out - could maybe help to set the Science each week? We all have our workloads but primary is so much more full on right now. What I'd really like to do is email the HT and tell him what I think of him but, somehow, I don't think that would help. He has the skin of a rhino except for the translucent bit around his arse where the sun shines out.

DD is home with DH and her teacher already knows that we don't expect a phone call - that she can email me instead. Just wish I could do something practical to lesson her load. Any primary people have any ideas?

@TrashedWarrior

Might involve maracas and a splif Cracklefraggle...

Must dig out my 90's flip top sunglasses too.

We've got lots too

The head keeps appointing young women.... it's not fair!

One of our (now retired) maths teachers married a student... and then had multiple affairs with other maths teachers

Are you sure they were maths teachers? That’s more the style of the PE department. Ooh maybe they were PE teachers who were drafted into teach maths.

I felt very old working alongside a maths colleague I taught in Y7.

Cackle what about emailing the governors?

Well noble they were mostly so busy being in compromising positions in school that they didn't do much teaching - so maths by training, PE by inclination?
I went the the wedding of one of my students, and the christening of the first child of another. Both times I was asked "who are you?" - people seem incredulous that students might like their teachers. I draw the line at marrying one though.

At least four couples in my school are the result of affairs with each other...

A maths teacher is married to an ex student.

Riga that might be a shout. Thanks.

Oh yeah and lots of ex pupils teaching at the school. It is viewed as a strength of the school and made it into the Ofsted report.

My dept colleagues are either saps or knobheads!

That really made me laugh

@Appuskidu

My dept colleagues are either saps or knobheads!

That really made me laugh

I'm glad it amuses someone 😂

Two of them actually manage to be the perfect storm of sappy-knobhead. How is that possible????

Primary - nearly 1/3 of our kids in. SLT are expecting school as normal for them. Most are key workers and not vulnerable. Key workers only have 1 key worker parent and can have a stay at home parent who just can’t be bothered if they so wish. Staff on rota to be in school or wfh on remote learning. 1 bubble has burst already.

Ha this makes me laugh. I know a teacher who had an affair with another teacher. His wife dumped all his clothes at school in bin bags one day.
Turns up a few years later at another school
I worked at. He was only an Ofsted inspector .

Checking in to the new republic. I actually left the house today for the first time since Christmas Eve. We had a lovely walk through the woods, then I collapsed on the sofa in a post-covid knackered heap. I have my first week of teaching via Teams coming up and I think I sort of know what I’m doing. If we weren’t working from home, I think I’d be having more time off sick, there’s no way I’d be able to manage running between classrooms.

I talked to my friend via text who’s a primary HLTA in a one form entry school. They have so many KW kids in - 18 in some classes.

Urgh Urgh Urgh why did I do it? Browsing Twitter and just happened to read some U4T posters. Urgh.

You have some seriously incestuous schools! We only have one marriage that I know of.

I have a weird crush on our Head IT support guy. Totally not my type and really straight, neeky guy and yet I have a little secret crush I have no idea if he is single and would never ask let alone flirt.

@Medra

Checking in to the new republic. I actually left the house today for the first time since Christmas Eve. We had a lovely walk through the woods, then I collapsed on the sofa in a post-covid knackered heap. I have my first week of teaching via Teams coming up and I think I sort of know what I’m doing. If we weren’t working from home, I think I’d be having more time off sick, there’s no way I’d be able to manage running between classrooms.

I talked to my friend via text who’s a primary HLTA in a one form entry school. They have so many KW kids in - 18 in some classes.

Don't do it. Honestly - even if it working from home it is still exhausting. Stay off until you are properly better!

The oldest of our maths department also taught the youngest! I missed teaching one colleague by just 2 months as they moved 🤣
My school has load of ex pupils as teachers, and most of the support staff seem to relations or significant others of other members of staff. I find it a bit strange tbh - at my last school we only had 2 husband/wife teacher teams!

I went to the school I teach that. The last of my teachers retired last year. I always feel the need to tell people I have travelled and lived all over the place and done some things with my life not just sat in the same village my whole life. Very weird ending up back here and I love it actually. I was 'naughty' at school so I doubt any of them expected to see me back as a teacher.

I think I agree with Enemy Medra. It may be tempting to go back because at least it's from home but you know what it's like, there'll be no concessions and once you're back they expect the moon on a stick from the get go. Better to properly rest up and fully recover rather than go back too soon.

I too have current colleagues who I taught as pupils - two of them but in other subjects. Another ex-pupil also teaches at my DD’s Primary school. You know when you clock someone and they look so familiar but you can’t remember their name off the top of your hat at first?! The poor thing started at the school during lockdown 1.

I obviously don’t put them off teaching

I miss the flirtation and affairs of secondary. I had a thing with a geography teacher (even though, as a was then history teacher, it was just colouring in) and practically every department had staff at it with other staff. Back.in the day I even used to go for drinks down the pub where things would happen.

It just doesn't happen in primary because there's usually only one bloke and he's promoted and moves on before you know it. They're usually knobheads as well.

Browsing Twitter and just happened to read some U4T posters.

You could have done that by staying on MN. I was told today that I must be delighted that I’d finally achieved my goal of closing schools and that as I didn’t have young kids the closures wouldn’t be affecting me at all.

Which was news to me.