I'm so fed up with having to be so unkind to children to get them to learn

[OntheMat]

It's so bloody wearying. They have never heard the words no or wait. I cannot gently redirect because they do not listen until I'm speaking in such a strict, stern tone of voice I don't like myself.

I'm secondary and agree with a lot of this. My smiley teacher self rarely comes out anymore! I can't give them an inch!
I had a run in with a year 8 the other day who said it is not normal to have to sit still and quiet in a lesson and it ruins her life! Ffs

I go for strict to the group and individuals doing the wrong thing, but will be smiley and chatty-ish to the students as individuals.

An example:

"Me: Right listening please Yr 7 in 3... 2... 1... Fred, you are still talking. We are waiting for you. Fred, you have carried on talking, that is your warning." Complete with stern face and teacher glare

Fred shuts up.

Then when I'm circulating, something like this.

Me: "Fred, that's excellent work. Oh, and well done I heard you were Man of the Match in the rugby yesterday"

Shows that I don't dislike Fred himself, just the fact he's talking when he ought not to be.

having a bunch of 5 year olds that you have to teach to write and do sums etc is going to be hellish unless you are a child whisperer.

You see, that's the thing- it absolutely should not. I know how to do my job and do it well, and I know for a fact that I am one of the few teachers in the local area who still runs continuous provision in Y1. By the age of 5, NT children should be absolutely capable of responding to the instructions I am giving them. The majority of them just don't believe in adult authority.

I sympathise. I feel I have to be strict and not give an inch for the first half term...... Then there's the delight of Christmas 🤯 but then this term I can relax a bit more bad be more fun bevause they know the expectations.

Teaching is a losing battle.
Pick your ‘fights’ but you’re only in control of so much.

I have a class like this. There are 3 or 4 girls k particular who just want to socialise. They sit at separate desk spread around the room but just talk across the room over other students' heads. When asked not to talk they give me responses like "but this is important" and just carry on. No amount of sanctioning has made any difference. I am tempted to sit them together so they can talk and the rest of us can ignore them get on with the lesson!!

Yes they are hit in their rights but have not thought of the responsibility aspect of their behaviour.

I wish the parents would support the teachers more

They don't do their dc any favours in some cases

Today a Yr7 got out of his seat and wandered across the classroom as I was giving instructions.

When asked (given both barrels for utter rudeness) he shrugged and said he needed a highlighter.

WHAT! I don’t care if you need a highlighter. You could bloody wait until I’d finished you rude child ( is what I wish I could have said).

Instead I told him not to do it again.

He is one of about four kids in this class who genuinely seem to believe they can get up and wander around to get whatever they please whenever they want.

I went to help take a group of 9 year olds to an event and I couldn’t believe the poor teacher had to say every single kid’s name twice and more for some as none of them were listening when she was doing the register. I’ve been at pta events and shocked at the general level of rudeness to adults - I’ve wanted to video some of them and share the clips with their parents.

TA here for p1/2. Having exactly the same issues, they just please themselves. Never hear the word "no" at home, talk over me or the class teacher constantly and mill about like they own the place. We are exhausted and frazzled, it's like putting 23 octopi in string bags! Add in some serious additional needs and we are about ready to explode. The rudeness and self importance is astounding at the age of 4 or 5. Pampered children, babysit by devices. I adore them all, but they are hard work.

I teach Y1 and I really sympathise! I feel like all I do is go on and on at them about stupid bloody rules otherwise they just can’t access the lesson. It’s so frustrating.

@bakewreck99 you could share the clips with their parents and often it would make no difference - they either don’t see it as an issue or don’t understand its their responsibility to sort it. I don’t understand why parents think kids should rule the roost nowadays - they do no one (least of all our kids) any favours .

Im a parent not a teacher, my DD1 (11) who started secondary school in September, comes homes everyday and spends the first half hour at least telling me about disruptive classmates with total disregard for anyone else or any respect for the adults there, every lesson is disturbed by the same children, the behaviour is disgusting from 11 year old children and the responses they give the teachers are awful, my daughters education is being ruined by these children in her classes and it is really starting to become a problem for me she is a brilliant student who has worked hard to be where she is, has excellent marks on tests and genuinely loves learning but this year they haven’t put the children in classes of where they all are with their education or behaviour they’ve randomly mixed all the classes and have them doing tests before allocating them to the correct classes next year it saddens me so much that my daughter is spending a year of school barely learning anything instead has to spend her days watching other children come and go as they please, shouting over everyone about nonsense, running around the class, jumping on tables, waving scissors in other children’s faces saying they going chop they noses off, terrible attitudes, not a care in the world and no respect for the teachers the list is endless and it goes on all day long I’m at a point I’ve considered asking to move her to a different class but from what she’s said it’s the same in all the years classes, I really feel for the teachers today too whatever they do the children don’t care it isn’t fair on anyone that these entitled spoilt children ruin school for everyone else

I hear you OP. I've been thinking this a lot recently. It's such a battle with my Yr 11s and it's wearing thin. I keep thinking why should I care if they don't! Yet if they don't do well in their GCSE's it will be my fault according to Ofsted etc.

I’m a TA and spend a very small amount of time this year in Y3. That class teacher is very experienced, and her class last year behaved beautifully for her. This year they need to be told everything 3 or 4’times and even then won’t close reading books etc.

I read the threads in The Staffroom and thank God that I am teaching-retired (early!)
A great deal of the behaviour problems in NT children most definitely come from their upbringing.
It would be a very brave Minister for Education who says so in public. Yeh, like that would ever happen.

@SpaghettiSharon I fear that's right, always some excuse - it's probably the fault of the volunteers at the events in some way they'd likely say!

@rosegoldwatcher spot on! It's the great big bloody elephant in the room and no one is addressing it! Reading threads on here makes me weep - parents demanding heads should roll at the slightest suggestion their precious offspring could ever be told off. Parents suggesting their children would NEVER lie so it's clearly the teacher lying . Parents saying "my child wants this, that, the other, what can I do?"

BE A BLOODY PARENT AND SAY NO!

Gah! Sorry - caught me on a particularly bad day.

And I feel so sorry for the kids who consistently behave. Consistently make the right choices. Consistently try to be respectful. What about their rights to enjoy their education undisturbed by this generations of princes and princesses?

I am feeling very comforted that it’s not just me! I’m in my 3rd year of teaching and this year is so tough somehow.

I'm 40 this year and have been teaching 17 years. I'm starting to think I'm worth a bit more than being belittled by teenagers every day.
I'm a nice, friendly person. And yet I have to spend most of my day modelling basic kindness, nagging, waiting for them, giving out warnings. I'm bored of it all.
If I hear "I was just" one more time...

Parents will say things such as 'he was only getting a rubber' when I am in the middle of explaining and keeping 30+ pupils engaged. I reply, 'and what if all the other children decided to do the same?' parents seem to think that disruption is OK if their child is the one doing it. So annoying

I also teach Year 1 and feel exactly the same! One to one each child is lovely and delightful, as a class of 30 I feel like I'm using my 'cross voice' more often than not. Praise just doesn't seem to work! I've spent some time in Key Stage 2 and I'm starting to think I would be more effective there.

BE A BLOODY PARENT

This. In spades. After another shit day (someone else in a naice school) in which I’ve felt - for the first time in years - that I can’t cope. I am a good teacher but I just don’t know if I can keep going when I’m treated so bloody appallingly by students, senior staff and parents. I’ve spent two days chasing parental slips for an activity - the parents haven’t bothered to return them (still want their children to go, because I’m psychic) or didn’t fill out the form properly. Then they make snarky comments. It’s not fucking difficult to read and tick!

"I was just and He was only

Are the bane of my life

The thing that annoys me most about kids in my classes is when I pull them up on something and they say “oh I was just.....” I don’t care what they were doing because the fact I’ve pulled them up means it’s clearly the wrong thing.

It’s not helped by parents that seem to be all over forums like this and Facebook with the attitude of “I will go up and tell that school” Don’t they realise we are there to get the best out of their kids, we don’t want to spend our lives telling them off or teaching them how to behave, we want to teach them!