Do parents thank you after residentials?

[DoctorLawn]

I've been thinking about this, since returning from a residential last Friday.

Three parents thanked me.

I'm not expecting all out gratitude, but I was quite taken aback by our return in general. They all stood in the path to the main school entrance, two parents and a childminder helped us get the luggage off the coach while the rest watched, and nobody moved aside without being asked.

It's a very upper middle class school - wondering if that means the parents are much more 'entitled' feeling than others?

Hester clearly the problem lies elsewhere, if it was made clear the trip was optional and a viable alternative was offered, to those who did not want to go. Culture clash perhaps?

Clam I do understand. My concern is for those who feel pressurised for example the school not offering any attractive alternative or it being implied to children a residential trip is compulsory.

Cap, our school does stress that residentials are optional, but we also strive to make it possible for those families who, for financial reasons, couldn't send their children.

I have been guilty in the past of mentioning to the parents of children who have expressed a desire to go, but have had parents say no, that there is discreet funding available through a fund left to school. I sincerely hope that this was taken in the spirit in which it was offered and no offence or feelings of pressure were felt.

I'm not suggesting that these were your circumstances btw.

Did your child enjoy the residential?

But I'm also a parent, capsium - in fact my ds is off on his first residential next week.

I know the school would like the whole of year 6 to participate. I also know that they can hardly take him without my informed consent, which I would naturally withhold if I had serious concerns.

& if my decision not to send my child was questioned, after I'd made it clear that it was a considered decision, I'd be firmly telling them that the matter was closed.

Not letting him go & then sulking about it!

I don't think you're on your own in thinking that some schools can be overbearing; I just think your response to it, in this instance, is unproductive.

How are the school supposed to know that you're unhappy with the trip & not just a mannerless git, to be blunt?

Not my response raven. I just sympathise with it.

So, this is a made-up problem that you're imagining other people might have then?
And which has NOTHING to do with exhibiting basic good manners and saying thank you to people.

Shockers not gone on one, yet.

Capsium - the school would like all children to go because they believe they benefit from it. If for some reason you don't think yours will, have the courage to say 'No - he's not going. Could you please tell me what he will be doing instead so I can let him know' It's Not Hard.

FWIW - I would not expect the school to lay on a whole range of 'fun' activities for any of the children who weren't going. I would expect them to be put into another suitable class with maybe the odd fun thing if any of the teachers has the time & inclination.

Your half explanations are just making it seem like there really wasn't any issue other than you not wanting your child to go and you lacking the gumption to say 'No thank you, he's not going'. So either give it up, or tell us what this 'dark' problem actually was.

clam not imagining. I have come across a few people with this and similar problems.

Oh FGS. You are an adult, all you had to do was ask if it was compulsory & ask what your son would be doing instead, then explain that to him. You are his parent, the school cannot 'imply' it's compulsory if you tell him otherwise. It's Not Difficult.

So all this was hypothetical?

Chipping the alternatives you outline do not sound very attractive, more like an afterthought. Poor kids...

Oh for the love of fuck. All of that and your child hasn't even gone on one. So you derail the thread, entirely, about something that hasn't even happened but you suppose, somewhere, sometime, somehow it might.

FFS what attention seeking behaviour.

What was the "genuine concern" you had which means that you did not want your child to go?

They aren't meant to be attractive. What is happening is the 'Class/Year' is going on a trip. No one can force a child to go, no one can force a parent to allow a child to go. No 'rah rah rah' fun alternative NEEDS to be found, they can simply go to school, as per normal.

Of course if a child is too ill/otherwise genuinely unable to go (even for financial reasons) it would be nice if the school could make it fun, but it's not necessary.

Chipping I suggests you read my posts. It has not happened to me. It won't. I sympathise with those who find themselves in this predicament though.

Schools have a responsibility to be honest, transparent and to act in the interests of all the children, yes, including those who lie outside the norm in terms of their development. They are the professionals here, so I would argue they have a greater requirement upon them to be accountable.

Hak I have already said this has not happened to me. I sympathise with those it has though.

capsium now you're just spouting bollocks stuff to be controversial. You really think schools don't know/do this already?

What the fuck has any of that got to do with saying thank you?

Feenie... you put it so much better than I could have!

Good grief. That's 20 minutes of my life I won't get back!

There's always one...

Feenie I believe I explained this, as in see it, on p1, 2, 3, 4 etc etc

But no one thinks it is in any way an explanation not to be polite.

Hey feenie, look on the bright side. It's making the pile of marking I have downstairs look pretty appealing by comparison.

"capsium now you're just spouting bollocks stuff to be controversial. You really think schools don't know/do this already?"

There is still room for improvement.