Do parents thank you after residentials?

[DoctorLawn]

I've been thinking about this, since returning from a residential last Friday.

Three parents thanked me.

I'm not expecting all out gratitude, but I was quite taken aback by our return in general. They all stood in the path to the main school entrance, two parents and a childminder helped us get the luggage off the coach while the rest watched, and nobody moved aside without being asked.

It's a very upper middle class school - wondering if that means the parents are much more 'entitled' feeling than others?

Well there are quite a good few unusual people about...

Yeah, more's the pity.

I like it. Makes life more interesting.

"Well there are quite a good few unusual people about..."

Look, ffs, just tell us what the issue was! You never know, it might be helpful to someone in the same situation....Because, frankly, your posting is sounding more and more bonkers........

Hak potential issue, going on other people's (that I know) relaying of their past experiences. It won't happen again if I can help it.

We'll have to just assume that you're being contrary for the sake of it then.

So, what is the issue?

Hak The issue is that there is room for improvement. More honesty, transparency and sensitivity from schools is required in order for teacher parent relationships to improve.

Children / parents should never be under the impression that residential trips are compulsory. There should be no worry over there not being a viable alternative on offer for those not going. I said earlier how I believed schools should present the option of a residential trip. Quite simple to do, resulting in less pressure on parents and children (and possibly staff) which means better parent school relationships.

...&, erm, every single teacher posting on this thread has agreed with you that 'Children / parents should never be under the impression that residential trips are compulsory. There should be no worry over there not being a viable alternative on offer for those not going.', no?

None of us have ever encountered children being compelled to participate in a trip by your sinister/incompetent childcatcher teacher types.

So you see we are a bit befuddled by the ominous & cryptic overtones of your 'concerns', which you won't clarify.

I'm going with 'people who don't say thank you are bloody rude'. No necessity to do a thank you dance with jazz hands & present a bouquet, just a quick smile & a 'thanks, see you Monday!' if you happen to catch the eye of a staff member.

Still no reason at all there for common courtesy.

Unless you are spectacularly rude.

lack of, obviously

Capsium - you really can't extrapolate you experience to every parent and child who failed to say "thank you". For the example I gave of a secondary D of E trip. We took pupils from year 9 to year 13 on various trips (year 12 & 13 were much better at thanks). They were all outside the school day (weekends or holiday) so no issue with the school not focussing on the right things. They were done at minimum cost (basically campsite fees, mini bus diesel and something to cover the equipment costs). Staff paid for their own food etc as the teacher who ran it was painfully aware of the need to keep costs down. While even £15 for a weekend trip might be a stretch for some families, we were in an affluent area, that really can't explain 80% of pupils failing to thank staff. The trips were provided for the minority of pupils who wished to go, no coersion at all. In addition, staff ran after school sessions to cover the skills needed for the trip and get the rest of the D of E award. Other organisations can provide similar opportunities, as perhaps could a few of the parents, though you'd struggle to do it all independently. But if you could, again there was no obligation to go on a school trip.

I get that you have had an issue with one or more trips and this is unlikely to be unique to you. But that really doesn't explain the lack of manners in many adults and children.

raven but there have been other posters who have confirmed parents or/and children either have felt the trips were compulsory or have felt pressurised into letting their child goes against their better judgement. Read the thread through, I am not alone.

However as this is on the Staffroom board I would naturally expect the experience of posters is somewhat biased in terms of understanding from a teacher's perspective.

Pico I have no issue against residential trips which are clearly optional. I have enjoyed them myself, in my teens.

Could you hint at what was insensitive cap? It might help those of us involved in such trips not to make the same mistakes.

Shockers expressing a preference that every child goes. Allowing children to believe the residential is compulsory. Not making clear that there is a viable (worthwhile and enjoyable) alternative, for those that choose not to go, from the outset.

And still not a reason to say thank you.

Capsium - can you accept then that for some children and parents, a lack of thanks on some trips is purely due to a lack of manners?

Feenie but it is an explanation.

Pico manners is neither here nor there for me. Thoughtlessness done not offend me, it is accidental. Manners are just automatic responses, like a cultural memory, they do not denote how a person genuinely feels.

That's really sad Capsium as manners do matter to many people and really help when building relationships. And for many people they do show how the feel. I thank people who care for DD because it does matter to me.

Ffs, of COURSE a school is going to "express a preference" that all children go. Can you imagine the outcry as some people whinge complain that their child "was 'made to feel' unwelcome.

The issue here is yours, not the schools.

Jeez.

This must explain that obnoxious father who paid for his obnoxious twin sons to go on the French trips. I put up their outrageous manners for a seven night trip, and when their father came to collect them, he was incredibly rude also.

You have explained it for me. He did not want for them to go. Despite the programme of fun post SATs activities laid on for the children who didn't go (about half the year group), he actually felt coerced into sending his twins by the mean teachers.

Who knew?

Pico if it matters to you, you thank for this reason not out of manners. I have said earlier I thank often and mean it.

clam a child can be made to feel welcome, but still know the trip is optional and that if they don't go there is an attractive alternative.

Capsium What are you not getting about this? That IS WHAT HAPPENS!! The fact that YOU haven't understood that the trip is f*ing optional, does not mean that everyone else is as confused.

If you don't want your child to go DON'T SEND THEM!!!

Jeez.