Harry & Meghan - what does the future hold?

[Bluejumperdog]

I’m not really sure whether I can articulate this very well, but I’ll give it my best shot.

I think I support a route for Harry and Meghan to find a route back into the fold of the royal family, and find that odd and conflicting given everything that has happened.

I found the Oprah interview, the freedom flight, the Spare revelations awful. It felt really unpleasant the way Meghan came into the royal family, was active for so little time and then criticised it all so publicly and in a way that seemed a bit of a cultural miss (I’m not referring to the racism allegations here). I think that her American mindset perhaps did not fully understand the tacit consent nature of the royal family and the constitutional delicacies with which the titles are held. This is why it makes commercialisation and speaking at round tables about ‘power’, jarring.

However, despite ALL of this this, I see two human beings. One man who has grown up, without any consent, in a strange institution, in the glare of the spotless, completely traumatised by the death of his mother in horrendous circumstances when he was a young boy. A veteran too. Although not comparable to this, Meghan clearly has also had a dysfunctional childhood too. These latest revelations around her father mean that from the outside, none of us really know what’s going on.

I would like them all to just be happy. I feel like collectively it would be awesome as a nation if we could give the family the framework to sort it all out by just saying ‘look, H&M, you did some crazy shit, it was hugely damaging and cruel. But we understand that you guys have gone through crap too. Let’s look forward- try and sort it out’.

I’d honestly like to be done with the drama and for everyone to just get on. Does anyone else feel like this? I know it doesn’t really work like this in practice, I’m just trying to get across how I’m feeling.

Please also try and be a bit kind in your responses. I think this is coming from a place where everything just feels really negative/heavy in life at the moment and the need for some positivity,

Cathy leaves her children. I can see that happening with M too one day.

I’ve never heard this before but it’s so sad. I do know people who lie about things where there is no conceivable reason to do so.

Why be so aggressive? Have you never heard of a difference in opinion? Are you incapable of debate?

I assume from this that you do not wish to see a family reconcile. Why do you feel that way? Do you enjoy seeing a family estranged? Children estranged from their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins? I find that rather sad, if so.

Not just the fans. There are loads of articles in all sorts of publications suggesting that the public and the RF should consider recalibrating their relationship with her.

Very strange and meaningless comment with no explanation.

I assume you not wish to see a family reconciled? Sad...

Do you wish Meghan to be reunited with her father too?

Spat alert!

I did! Absolutely. And seem to remember her speaking very kindly of him at one time, sharing memories of childhood etc..

The ALLEGATIONS against Thomas Markle may prove untrue. But reconciliation with Meghan and her father obviously won't happen, will it? So why did you ask this question? Sarcasm, I suppose. I hope my reply satisfies your curiousity!

I'm just being realistic about a couple who have spent years causing serious issues for family members

When you write a book or record a TV interview, those words are there for evermore and can't be taken back. If you were on the receiving end of some of the things they have said, would you be preaching forgiveness?

H&M only ever look at things from their own point of view. That is not consistent with normal family life. All of us who have a happy-ish family life know the art of 'give & take' and that is something that is not in H&M's armoury

Yes, it's lovely when family members who have had a falling out are able to reconcile their differences but I don't believe this will ever happen with H&M's families ~ too much has been said for too long and it's all been played out in public.

They are estranged for a very good reason! They cannot be trusted. Harry & Meghan have made a living from selling stories & lies about the royal family.

Catherine & William are absolutely correct in protecting their precious peace & precious children. I wouldn't let Harry & Meghan near my family for fear of what stories they would sell to the press, William & Catherine are protecting their children

I don't actually disagree with a lot of that.

I imagine there would be some very strict terms in place if public reconciliation were to happen. I think that is a given!

It's a shame you couldn't have written that in the first place but thank you for explaining. I agree that strict agreements would need to be in place for public reconciliation.

I have a bit of sympathy with her over these allegations, the same way it must be difficult for eugenie and Beatrice but that doesn't excuse their appalling tell all stories about the RF, why has this story just been released now, the timing seems deliberate to gain sympathy when they must know how unpopular they have become.

Trouble is that both of them should be in some serious therapy but they lack the maturity to do it. They may yet grow out of it but growing up is hard.

Personally I find the Sussexes to be genuinely vulgar, entitled and odious in their actions. I think The Cambridges are dignified and much classier.

However, I know I have been manipulated by image making and I am certain the ‘truth’ is more complex because it always is.

I feel sorry for all of them honestly and I also feel no pity at all. My view changes. More than anything this group, notwithstanding childhood suffering, is still extremely privileged.

I suspect both Sussexes have been messed up by their childhoods and are playing out in public like the purple brat in Willy Wonka.

But the multi generational mess of the Windsors is because of the curdle of monarchy and family. The spare has no function really but to stand in the wings and shut their mouths. That’s How It Works - no other way will work.

The inequality in wealth, status & privilege between the heir/spares is enough to make anyone fall out for ever. William is richer than Harry can ever dream of and that clearly sucks to Hazza. William has Oprah style wealth and Hazza is like a mid range plastic surgeon.

So what they should all do is play a long game. Do a deal which stops all the terrible fundraising and see if the Sussexes could be brought back in.

The model for all of them is Princess Anne - she is brilliant and almost is an argument for a monarchy. Just know your place and do your job and shut up about it.

But I can’t see that happening.

Also, the piling on against Markle, even though she seems to deserve it (!) is horrible to watch however well founded. Don’t bully women; make an argument and put it fairly.

Imagine this woman was your niece behaving bizarrely and brashly. You would be horrified for her.

I have criticized her here but I am starting to want to defend her as the pile on is disproportionate. Andrew deserves this level of hate - not this troubling woman.

The irony of the long term posters here trting to be morally superior and ayaing think about the victims when they syayed quiet nowhere to be seem on the Andrew threada, no comments on what did the RF know, what Did the Queen, Charles, William etc k ow all of whom despite the initial allegations stuck by him, photographed with him, taking to him. Not questioning why they didnt speak out, why after that statement discrediting one victim have never said anything like sorry it was wrong to do that. Camilla support charity for women who are abused...she has not spoke out on Andrew, that statment.

Yet posters here wish to ignore all of that and yet now its related to Meghan suddenly they found their voice.

Looking at three generations, Edward VIII, Andrew MW and now Hazza
all have wives who have not been controllable. You need to marry someone who just wants to bow and ‘serve’.

The old guard controlled the Nazi sympathizing childman Edward VIII - up to a point - using money. Nothing was ever achieved in trying to manage Andrew and even less has been achieved in controlling the abominable Fergie. Nothing has worked so far and it’s hard to see what leverage would have any force.

I honestly cannot see any reconciliation, there is no going back after racism accusation.
Also H&M made the Queen & Prince Philips last months & years absolutely miserable.

Catherine & William will absolutely protect their precious children from the toxic narcissists that H&M are. They cannot be trusted not to sell stories about the Wales children.
The grey rock method is working perfectly fine & long may it continue.
The royal family owe H&M nothing.

I think 'controllable' is way too pejorative.

Why not just plain old dignified, discreet, well-brought-up, courteous, professional?

If Catherine is the one referred to when such descriptions are deployed (and H did that himself) then I think it's unfair. She does a professional job, she knows it's not about her, but about the other people she's meeting, she dresses conventionally and respectfully (but gets stick for not being edgy enough,which would be inappropriate) and she never puts a foot wrong.

That's surely the job description? I see no problem with it. She went into it with her eyes open, had lots of time to understand what the role would involve, listened, learned and hasn't rocked the boat. What's not to like?

Implying the successful royal women have been 'controllable' is silly. That's like saying 'Ooh, that doctor of mine is really controllable - she just stuck to her professional role and she wasn't wearing edgy clothes...'.

It's a serious job - she's representing the country sometimes and on others, she's there to focus on people who need publicity or praise for their work.

Totally agree. No way back - it's not a Disney film.

my hope is that they can have forgiving, loving family relationships and get over hurts, whatever they do going forward.

I can't see any way in which they'd be welcomed back into the fold. Both have shown repeatedly that they won't listen to advice, follow instruction and Meghan simply cannot adhere to RF protocol because she naively or ignorantly believes her way is better. They are loose cannons of the worst kind. And Harry should know better, he was born into this family. Meghan I give a little more leeway because the British RF was an alien concept to a native American.

@GoodGirlFaith
Half term.
I'm sat in the kitchen watching the pigeons in the back garden.

I agree of course Coffee but these wives are applying for two, some might say conflicting jobs. Actual wife and Actual Institutional Wife Professional.
Catherine did a long internship, suited both roles and, crucially, appears to have wanted both jobs. And is ass kicking at both. So did Sophie despite one big car crash. Wallis Simpson never really wanted it. Fergie could not do either job but they needed someone to take on the family oaf. Diana dwarfed Charles professionally and left him cold personally. Markle can do the wife but can’t do the Royal Professional Colleague/Wife. Camilla can only do both because the first wife died.

This is like saying to a CEO you want them to hire a head of security who is also someone you want to marry, breed with and stay with forever and who can do both jobs.