Best advice for Harry going forward?

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I have all the same initial reactions as many others on MN regarding Harry i.e. whiner, grifter, stupid, entitled etc and it's easy to dole out the criticism.

However while I wouldn't say I have sympathy for him, as so much of his situation is of his own making, I actually do have some underlying feelings of concern for him and his future (and children).

He reminds me an awful lot of a relative of mine who is neurodiverse with a mild learning disability and a tendency to be self-absorbed with an overdeveloped victim complex - always lashing out, blaming others, seeing conspiracy where there is none etc.

Harry is clearly a damaged man, with childhood trauma and issues which continue to plague his mental health.
As with my relative, he has grown up with a support network which has probably quietly managed and enabled his passage through life, but when big outbursts happen (as have happened in our family too) everyone backs off and 'grey rocks' him until he has calmed down. Some people just give up, too exhausted by the constant drama of it all.

I’m just re posting what I said earlier! Just call me Mystic Meg! 🔮 I’m going to buy a Euro Millions lottery ticket on Friday, I’m clearly on a roll!

This might come across wrong but I genuinely didn’t realise Meghan was mixed race when she first hit the public eye, I don’t think I’m alone in that.

No, I didn't realise either. I had seen one or two episodes of Suits, but her character made no impression on me, so the first I knew of her really was when she was mentioned as Harry's new gf. I can't remember how I learned she was mixed race, but I don't recall any negative connotations.

Except they did William released a statement to the press asking them to back off this was more than anyone did for kate during the early days kate who was pursued relentlessly called a slut a whore who ended up having security given to her because of how bad they were meghan was defended by the palace and she was not pursued anything like what kate was

Harry seems to have a selective memory.

Well yes. Absolutely. That’s putting it politely.

Harry’s argument has always been that just because Kate went through Hell with the press doesn’t mean Meghan should.

There is some logic there but it’s at odds with his determination for them to be treated exactly the same as William and Catherine in every other respect. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Was that his argument? It's strange then that his default setting is that he and his wife are the ultimate victims and no-one else has suffered as much.

As Meghan said, there's rude and then there's racist. Being physically harassed and chased, prevented from working and being called misogynist slurs for a reaction by the mainstream press employees for a period of 10 years is merely rude. Whatever it is PH is claiming was going on at the point he released his statement about MM was worse, apparently.

I just think Harry’s whole mindset and rhetoric come from Meghan. It’s her interpretation of what’s going on and what has gone on from her own limited perspective. She hasn’t understood the RF from day one and has been looking out for slurs and rejection right from the start. I also don’t think she ever intended to stay so looked around for anything that supported her ultimate aim, which was to leave and take Harry’s money with them.

As the mother of the bride, I assume she could have had family come with her to the wedding. Has she got any family? Most people have someone or a close friend - or three. We have friends who have known our dc all their lives. Who knew Meghan? She seems to have existed in a strange bubble.

It’s highly likely H will be blaming Camilla keeping Charles from him. Like Charles cannot think for himself! Of course he will protect his wife from H. They have read enough and know what H feels. It’s just mawkish rubbish for H to say he doesn’t know how long Pa might live. He should have thought about that 5 years ago.

TizerorFizz · Today 08:40

As the mother of the bride, I assume she could have had family come with her to the wedding. Has she got any family? Most people have someone or a close friend - or three. We have friends who have known our dc all their lives. Who knew Meghan? She seems to have existed in a strange bubble.

That's a good point. Hadn't thought of that before, but in the very traditional British wedding where the bride's family used to arrange and pay for things, the MOB would have a hugely important role. (I know things are different now and couples are much more autonomous etc, but it used to be the case.)

Now, since Meghan was marrying a royal, clearly the wedding arrangements would be taken over by them, but I bet Doria would have been consulted at some level - or at least the RF would have tried to involve her. So yes, it is odd that Doria was the only family member present. Surely she would have had some rellies to include?

Whether she was allowed this choice, though, is open to speculation! (Sorry, Spectre...😉)

Heard in a recent news snippet that Doria currently lives 200 miles from MM and PH. I recall she lived with them at the time of them purchasibg montecito.

Interesting this appears to havr been kept under wraps.

It’s remarkable that she manages to keep her private life so private . No one really knows much about her. That’s quite an achievement these days.

Also, in the Oprah ‘interview,’ Meghan appears to dismiss Kate’s experiences by, quite snarkily I thought, referring to having had empathy for her having been called “Waity Katie.” As if that’s all it was.

which reminds me of the similar snark from Harry saying he had empathy (it was it compassion?) for Camilla having been the third person in his parents’ marriage.

I just think Harry’s whole mindset and rhetoric come from Meghan. It’s her interpretation of what’s going on and what has gone on from her own limited perspective

This would certainly explain why Meghan kept Oprah to herself initially, only bringing Harry in later in the interview - as in get your own narrative in first before anyone else spoils it

Except he did, in revealing that the racist "conversations" weren't as presented in terms of time (or even intention, given his much later "clarification")

Now, since Meghan was marrying a royal, clearly the wedding arrangements would be taken over by them, but I bet Doria would have been consulted at some level - or at least the RF would have tried to involve her. So yes, it is odd that Doria was the only family member present. Surely she would have had some rellies to include?

I don’t think the wedding arrangements were taken over by the RF. Security, logistics, yes, but many of the choices were down to the bride and groom. We know from W and C’s wedding that they themselves completely rewrote their guest list, with the encouragement of the Queen, starting with their nearest and dearest.

If the RF had been in charge of the wedding there wouldn’t have been the last minute drama of the badly fitting bridesmaid dresses, nor would Tiaragate have happened.

Meghan did not have the skills to organise such a big event (I wouldn’t either!) and the problem is she was left to get on with it.

If the RF had been in charge of the wedding there wouldn’t have been the last minute drama of the badly fitting bridesmaid dresses, nor would Tiaragate have happened.

Nor would there have been all the last minute kerfuffle over Thomas Markle.

Charles took over arranging the service because H&M hadn't done it.

Credit to him, it was a lovely service. It begs the question though of why they were so badly organised but given what's happened since perhaps not.

As if they couldn't afford a high society wedding planner! This all smacks of what we have been hearing about Meghan and Harry being unadvisable.

It was a lovely service

It was indeed, @Uricon2 - if only for the excitable pastor, who gave rise to one of the best MN posts ever:

"Someone's going to have to tackle him to the floor in a minute"

Does she have family on her mum's side?

Just musing on possible reasons. My mum was an only child so there was no maternal family at my wedding.

Does she have family on her mum's side?

She had grandparents and a half-uncle when she was growing up, according to Tom Bower. I think the gparents had died. I don't know if the uncle was still around, or if there were any other relatives.

@CoffeeCantata Most weddings have friends of the parents present if they know dc well. Meghan preferred show biz people. That does say something about what she saw her future would be - not a working RF member. It seemed odd at the time and now it’s perfectly clear! Planning started early. Clearly no one else was trusted to come!

I thought she was there with little family as they were diffcult - her half sister seem to confirm this but did think Thomas Markle was badly treated.

The bridemaid and church wedding dress - thought fashion house badly let them down - now I suspect they were being told thing were wrong but weren't listening.

I suspect Meghan liked the idea of big public wedding thought it would be fun spending all that money but actually found the orgainsiation too much and didn't admit it till very late - it's a lot of pressue and a lot of work -and then got resentful and stressed and re-wrote it as something imposed on them.

I suspect Harry just thought it was his due and it just happened and was little actual help with organisation.

A quieter wedding with less securinty and thus pressure and secuirty needed would probably have suited everyone.

I think at the time of the wedding her mother had two older siblings and one younger. Plus some nieces and nephews on that side. They were very discrete at the time and barely said a word to the press which was why they get forgotten about compared to the mouthy Markles.